An unidentified 26-year-old Toronto man suffered multiple stab wounds to his face and arm in an attack at Van Gogh’s Ear in downtown Guelph over the weekend. The attacker has not yet been caught, but fear not good citizens, becauseConstable Marlowe Sharpeis on the case!
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
Is It Just Me…
Or is it kind of funny that the Deseret Morning News sent a guy named Jacob Hancock to report on a group of anti-porn activists that’s trying to get a Gold’s Gym to stop using what they consider to be sexually explicit videos?
Stars Are Blind
this is right up there with the fire that stopped production of fireproof products a couple years back. We regret to announce that due to unforeseen circumstances beyond our control, the publication of The Astrological Magazine will cease with the December 2007 issue. All unexpired subsription amounts will be refunded shortly. We thank all our …
Congratulations
World’s Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100
If You Happen To Know The Answer, You Don’t Have To Explain How
If you go to the hospital for a few stitches because you took a wack on the head, what legitimate medical reason is there for the doctors togive you a rectal exam, especially when you’re completely alert and otherwise ok? If you know the answer to this question, something tells me that Brian Persaud of …
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This Is So Stupid I Don’t Have A Title For It
An unidentified 22-year-old Town of Waukesha man could soon be facing various weapons charges after committingone of the stupidest crimes in recent memory. The trouble started on New Year’s day when a car carrying the man and 2 passengers went into a ditch. A passing police officer offered assistance and allowed the man to sit …
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Losing Your Load
I’m not generally a big fan of blonde jokes, but this one gets me every time for some reason. As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up to him. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window and …
2007 Darwin Awards
These are the real ones as published by DarwinAwards.com, not the ones from the stupid emails that everybody likes to send out all the time. You know, the ones that for some reason have the same fake stories in them every year? RUNNER UP # FIVE: THE LAPTOP STILL WORKS (Confirmed True by Darwin) “Driving is …
You Live By The Sword…
Here’s today’s dose of fantastic irony. An un-named 26-year old man attempting to shoplift $300 worth of hunting knives from a Meijer store in Michigan got into a scuffle with security workers who tried to stop him, during which he fell and wasstabbed in the stomach by yes, you guessed it, the knives he was …
No Defence Should Have Been Enough
We talk pretty regularly around here about how personal responsibility is a dying concept, but I think I’ve finally found a story that to me not only kills it, but also knocks over its tombstone and pisses on its grave for good measure. In May 2004, 19-year old Sandra Bergen bought some crystal meth from …