I don’t know what Amanda Willis was arrested eight times for, but I imagine her now former best friend Jennifer Butler does, which makes me wonder how short Mrs. Butler was on maid of honour candidates especially based on arrest number nine. “She was a mess. She drank almost a whole entire bottle of Fireball,” …
Category Archives: alcohol was a factor
Save Money, Live Wetter
As a guy who burns through a lot of articles in a day, I love it when a headline doesn’t hype something up to be something it isn’t or leave you guessing about what’s really going on. So thank you, “Police: Man urinates in Walmart as he puts trout in pants,” for making my Friday …
I Was Just On My Way To Turn Myself In
Whether or not you’re wanted on outstanding warrants, it’s always good to make sure that the taxi you’re getting into is really a taxi and not, say, a police cruiser. Then again if you are wanted on outstanding warrants, regardless of whether it is or is not a cab you will get a ride somewhere. …
She’s Got The Freshest Breath In The Room, Assuming She’s Still Breathing
Not exactly cutting edge news here (story is from 2015), but I’m sharing for 2 reasons. 1: Because it reminds me of this and 2: because holy shit, right? According to an incident report from the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office, 57-year-old Neil Berry of Appling came home on Sunday night to find his wife, 59-year-old …
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It’s Ok, Officer. I’m Just On My Way Home From A Swingers Party
Maybe it has something to do with me not driving, but it never fails to amaze me when something like this happens and the person just keeps right on going like it’s no big thing. Police were called to the Logan intersection of Victoria Street and Station Road early on Saturday morning after locals had …
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Do These Pants Make Me Look Drunk?
I’m glad the Vermont state police have a shred of a reasonable explanation for why Allen R. Johnson Sr. may have thought it a good idea to get up and slip on a fresh pair of pants whilst driving his big rig down the highway one morning not long ago, because it means that at …
Hey There, Doll Face. How Would You Like To Come Back To My Place?
Believe it or not, I can come up with a few reasons why one might walk into a lingerie store empty handed and walk out with a display mannequin. Maybe you work for the mannequin company and the store people asked you to take it. Maybe it’s someone’s idea of a harmless prank. Or maybe …
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I’m Donald Trump…Or Am I
I’m giving this one a soundtrack because we need to get it in before it’s too late to be topical. Tempting as it may be, there are more productive ways of voicing your displeasure with Donald Trump and his supporters than showing up at one of his rallies and vandalizing the cars there with peanut …
Beers Of A Clown
I think by now we’re all getting pretty tired of the great clown panic of 2016, so for a moment, let us take a break from talking of creepy clowns…and talk of drunken ones instead. According to an arrest warrant, the Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office was dispatched to the scene after “a series of calls about a …
Baby You Can Drive Into My Car
I could sit here and list each individual thing that went wrong here, but to save us all some time, let’s just say that all of them did and leave it at that. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux7Qg6x-wKA An officer was checking a reported disturbance on Wednesday when he heard brakes squeal and an SUV slam into the patrol …