It’s a beautiful day. I think I’ll head to the library. I’ll be on my way just as soon as I grab the laptop, a cucumber and my sex drive. Officers received a call around 11 a.m. Saturday for a suspicious incident at Agincourt Library in the city’s Scarborough area. They found a man holding …
Category Archives: do it yourself
A Quick Update On The Swiss Cheese Guy
You may or may not remember Chris Pagano, the fella that a lot of folks had taken to calling the swiss cheese pervert. If you’re in the may not camp, you can get yourself up to speed right on over here. There’s an update to his case, sent my way by Michelle, who I must …
Another Day, Another Pool Toy
That didn’t take long. Edwin Charles Tobergta III finds himself in the news once again. Guess why. Police said Edwin Tobergta, 35, was seen having simulated sex with a pink life raft on Route 4 at about 8 a.m. Witnesses said Tobergta was nude and in view of nearby businesses and passing cars. He was …
What Do They Call The Yoga Pose Where You Rant, Rave, Juggle Your Dice And Throw Dead Animals At Cars?
I’m not sure alcohol is it, but I’m willing to bet some substance or other was a factor in the case of Bill Kachle here. Bill Kachle, 68, was arrested last month after Jared Tyng, a United States Park Police officer, responded to a complaint about a “disorderly male subject” along the Mount Vernon Trail …
Fluffing…Airing Out…What Is It, Your Dong Or A Pillow?
I just learned something. Apparently it’s possible to fluff your genitals. I don’t know how this works for girls, but it looks to go ok for creepy guys on the street at least until the part where they get arrested. A woman told Martin County Sheriff’s deputies Nov. 5 she saw a man identified as …
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I’d Walk A Mile In Your Shoes, But I Seem To Be Stuck Here
Concordia University (not the one in Montreal, the one in Chicago) is looking for a new director of public safety after it was forced to fire what was until recently its current one after he was caught trying to fill the shoes of one of his female coworkers, so to speak. A female employee reported …
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Flash And Smash
I like to think I know our audience, so I’m pretty sure there’s at least one person reading this who sees indecent exposure as a harmless pastime and a fun hobby. Well, this sounds neither harmless nor fun, so pay attention, and think twice. A fellow in Anderson, California had a pretty decent hook to …
Finally, An Answer To The Question On Everyone’s Mind. How Much Time Will You Get For Violating Fake Pumpkins And Pool Toys
When last we left Edwin Charles Tobergta III, he was potentially looking at 12 months in the cooler after yet another bout of daylight public pool toy sex. After pleading guilty to a public indecency charge in September, Tobergta was sentenced to 11 of those months last November. So unless they have pools or Halloween …
Can I Call You Baby…Swiss?
So yeah, this Chris Pagano fella is pretty strange, it seems. The charges stem from three incidents – one in January 2013 on Frankford Avenue near Bleigh; one Jan. 5 on Frankford Avenue near Princeton; and another Jan. 5 on Chippendale Street near Erdrick – in which he allegedly approached women with his genitals exposed …
Crank Yanker
We really need to figure out a way to use meth for the forces of good. Seriously, how can there not be value in a substance that gives you the power to be unharmed by Taser strikes and fight off 15 people? But until that day comes, the stuff’ll just be wasted on dude’s whipping …