There’s a bit of everything here. Racial slurs. Death threats. Apple throwing. Flower smashing. Relations with a refrigerator. Thank you, Seattle Police Department blotter. On Aug. 5 at about a 2:15 p.m., patrol officers responded to the 1700 block of East Madison Street following a report of a man using racial slurs and brandishing a …
Category Archives: humpings
Dog, God, Everybody Got A Little That Day
Lots going on here. Or maybe it’s just your average Florida Sunday. According to Mason’s arrest affidavit, he knew the owner of the dog and was taking the goldendoodle out for a walk in the apartment complex. Then, he started having sex with the dog in front of witnesses, including adults and a juvenile who …
Continue reading “Dog, God, Everybody Got A Little That Day”
This Is The Schlong…
I think it’s kind of weird that people feel the need to fill their homes with surveillance cameras that are constantly monitoring everything they do and potentially sharing it with the whole world because the security on those things can be pretty damn bad, but maybe it’s all worth it if you can catch one …
You Can’t Spell Pinellas Without PENIS
It says here that this fellow is a middle school social studies teacher. Not sure how any of this fits in with social studies, at least as I remember them. Perhaps he should look at switching to law. He may be a subject matter expert fairly soon. Deputies said Schroeder was spotted by a neighbor …
Did Somebody Say McHumping?
This is an event that occurred. I don’t know what else to say. Do I need to say any more? Sheriff’s deputies were dispatched to the McDonald’s due to a report of “Male taking clothes off doing a strange dance, subject possibly on drugs.” A 911 caller also reported that “it looked as though the …
Frozen? Naah. It’s Getting Pretty Hot In Here, Actually
Police said Cody Meader, 20, of St. Petersburg, entered the store around 2 p.m. Tuesday. He walked up to a display of merchandise from Frozen, picked a large Olaf stuffed animal, placed it on the floor and proceeded to rub himself against it until he ejaculated. Then he put it back on the display. Authorities …
Continue reading “Frozen? Naah. It’s Getting Pretty Hot In Here, Actually”
Leave Them Alone
If anyone has any good leaf blower or raking and bagging jokes, now seems like a good time for them. A drunk man filmed ‘thrusting’ at a pile of leaves with his trousers round his ankles has been jailed for eight weeks. Michael Golsorkhi, 26, abandoned the missionary position and scuttled away into nearby bushes …
When I’m Done, We’ll Both Be Exhausted
A Kansas man who has not yet been identified since formal charges of misdemeanor lewd and lascivious behaviour have not yet been filed was arrested this week after being found attempting to have drunken sex with a car. Police in Newton, a city 25 miles north of Wichita, responded Tuesday to a 911 call about …
I Heard They Were Extinct And I Thought I Could Help
“So, what’d you do this weekend?” “Not too much. Paid the rent, did the laundry, watched some baseball…How about you? Did you get up to anything exciting?” “Well, I went to the dinosaur theme park and got it on with a statue of a hatching T rex, does that count? Police officers investigating images of …
Continue reading “I Heard They Were Extinct And I Thought I Could Help”
Oh Baby, You’re The Grill Of My Dreams
Whether Michael Henson was having a really really good Tuesday or a really really bad Tuesday is a matter we could probably debate all day long, and which side of the argument you fall on is going to depend on how you feel about several things. The copious ingestion of substances, the amount of fun …