Rare is the day when I actively hope that a person is homeless, but today is that day. Because if this woman wasn’t, what was she thinki…never mind. I really ought to know better than this by now. A 23-year-old Guelph woman has been charged after police say she brought several bags of stolen property …
Category Archives: master criminals
Excellent! It’s The Not Getting Away Car, Right On Schedule
Old story is old, but ones like it rarely fail to amuse me to some degree and it’s been a slow couple of days round these parts, so here we are. LaSalle police had an easy arrest Monday at Windsor Crossings Premium Outlets after an alleged shoplifter mistakenly got into their unmarked police vehicle. Officers responded …
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Use Your Imagination Is Very Good Advice
If the police pull you over, end up searching your vehicle and finding a bunch of drugs, maybe trying to pin the stuff on some guy to whom you had recently given a ride and the vehicle’s real owner might seem like it’s worth a shot. But if you’re going to do that, be very …
Stay Off The Phone
A couple items worth noting from the Record’s latest OPP Roundup. On Sept. 4 at 2:30 p.m., police saw a motorist using a cellphone while driving on Highway 401 in Thames Centre, near London. When they pulled over the car, police found $800,000 worth of dried, packaged cannabis and $130,000 in cash. A Toronto man, …
More Education Is Needed
I have no idea whether or not Christina King was on anything that morning, but if she was, it clearly contained the slow release version of whatever the active ingredient in dumb is. How else to explain why she would take the time to steal a driver ed car and then use it to follow …
Cookaine
Bit of an old story, but it gets a post anyway thanks to the hot tip it provides. Literally. If you and your pal are responsible for the removal of massive quantities of smuggled drugs from a shipping container, one of you really ought to make sure that the both of you can get in …
Turn The Geek Around
Hot tip: If you’re going to break into someone’s house and use his inversion table, make sure you know how to get in and out of it so you don’t have to scream for help when you find yourself stuck in it upside down. The homeowner and an apparently hopelessly trapped Jeremy Sanders are reported …
Walking Around ON Spaghetti Legs
I don’t know what this guy’s situation was ( either broke and hungry or total asshole seem like good bets), but whatever it was, it maybe should have been obvious that stuffing a container of piping hot spaghetti down his pants wasn’t going to be the best way to improve it. https://www.facebook.com/339711689547929/videos/313878919498372/ The footage shows …
You Can’t Half Your Cake And Eat It Too
I give this woman, or perhaps just her giant testicles, bonus points for trying. Yeah, definitely just the nuts. The rest of her *is* nuts and gets no bonus points for thinking this would work. The suspect, who has not been identified, entered the bakery section of the store and proceeded to eat half of …
Gotta Smoke ‘Em All
If you’re going to play Pokemon Go in a park, maybe make sure the park is open. Oh, and maybe also leave your big ass drug stash at home. A Hillsborough deputy observed Ortiz had marijuana in plain view and also noted Ortiz was actively trying to catch a wild Pokemon. A search of Ortiz’s vehicle …