Turn The Geek Around

Hot tip: If you’re going to break into someone’s house and use his inversion table, make sure you know how to get in and out of it so you don’t have to scream for help when you find yourself stuck in it upside down.

The homeowner and an apparently hopelessly trapped Jeremy Sanders are reported to have had a bit of a conversation, one during which Sanders informed him that “they told me to come here” when asked what on earth he thought he was doing.

That may partially explain why Sanders was taken to a local hospital to be tested for drug impairment when he was finally freed.

Following that trip, he was taken to jail and charged with aggravated burglary for not only his misadventure with the table, but also because he appears to have taken some cranberry juice from the house at some point.

Yup, definitely on drugs. Who drinks cranberry juice?

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  1. I do! Have to drink it to make sure I pee all the drugs out of my system before the tests.

    1. Hahaha.

      Serious question though. Do they say that might actually help? I know it’s supposed to help with UTIs, but I’ve never heard anything about drugs.

      The only half way decent use I’ve found for the stuff is mix, but even that I almost never do for myself unless I’m already doing it for someone else.

      But one thing it definitely does have going for it is that at least it isn’t grapefruit juice. Now that, that shit is horrible. I clearly remember having it for the first time back in grade 1. We used to have a little snack time during the day where we got to have cookies and milk or cookies and juice. Usually the juice was apple or orange, but on this day something was definitely wrong. So wrong that I damn near spit it out all over the person across from me, but was somehow able to force it down. Once I recovered, I called the teacher over and told her that I thought the juice had gone bad. I honestly thought that since milk could go sour, that perhaps orange juice could too. That had to be what I was tasting here, right? NO. It was called grapefruit juice, and there are people, likely ones who hate themselves, who drink it on purpose. I don’t think I ever asked, but I did spend some time after that wondering if on the days we got grapefruit juice if we had done something wrong.

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