Here are a couple of tips for the would-be user of a counterfeit cheque: When you pull into Wal-Mart and you see 40 police cruisers in the parking lot, it is wise to suppose that perhaps now is not a good time to use the cheque. If you decide to push on, thinking that the …
Category Archives: master criminals
What? I Need an Escape Route?
Before I write a big post about the holidays, I just had to write this down because, well, it belongs here. Attention all dumbasses! When you decide it’s time to carjack someone, you might want to know where you’re going if you manage to steal their car. Otherwise, you might end up having to admit …
Brain Drain!
Wow! Would you believe that, instead of making a date-rape drug, this bunch of imbeciles made industrial strength drain cleaner, some of them even managing to down four glasses of it, but they still didn’t figure out that something was amiss with their chemical creation until they had to call an ambulance because our star …
I Have No Idea What To Call This Post
Happy Monday to everybody. I hope you’re all having a good day, and I hope you’re keeping cool if it’s hot where you are. It’s hot here, that I know for sure. Canadian weather is just fucking weird, there’s no other way to describe it. A few days ago we were treated to some beautiful …
Live From Arkansas, It’s…An Idiot Going To Jail!
Attempting to rob somebody isn’t a great idea at the best of times, but when the person you’re attempting to rob happens to be a television host who is live on the air, it’s even worse. Believe it or not, that’sexactly what happenedin the town of Fort Smith, Arkansas last week. At first, Gary Spirito …
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Why Stealing Is Wrong, And Why Tobacco Might Not Be
A 26-year-old man’s first mistake was allegedly stealing a tractor-trailer rig that had been left unattended with the engine running, police say. His second blunder was mistaking the truck driver’s tobacco-spit cup for something refreshing, and taking a swig. The tale of alleged instant justice had its roots earlier Monday, the report said, when the …
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Criminal Mastermind At Work
I turned on the radio this morning just in time to hear one of those things that makes me want to shut everything off and crawl back into bed for the rest of my life. It seems that a super genius in the city of Kitchener was caught downloading child pornography and charged with possession. …
Bah. No Title
Good Day to you all, First of all – Yesterday I didn’t get anything posted for my supposedly weekly column on Salty Ham Sports. I was completely uninspired and really, with the exception of the World Junior Hockey Championship, I really didn’t watch much in the way of sports over the holiday. That makes it …