Telling the police that you don’t own the shirt or pants or jacket you’re wearing that just so happen to be stuffed with weapons or drugs or whatever is highly suspect, but at least it’s the smallest bit plausible. It might even be true once every couple million times. Trying that with the two bags …
Category Archives: master criminals
All Jacked Up And NO Place To Go
If you’re going to steal a set of new tires, you could do worse than targeting a car dealership. Those places are, after all, a rich source of new tires. But it’s worth remembering that they also tend to be a rich source of security systems, which means that should your acquisition mission be successful, …
I’ll Be Right There, Officer. Just Dropping Off The Bail Money
Good idea: Ditching the money as quickly as possible after robbing a bank. Not so hot: Ditching the money by running outside and depositing it into your own account via the ATM attached to the building. State police arrested McRoberts Williams Saturday after they say he robbed the Wells Fargo on Old Capitol Trail at …
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Or Else She’ll Fry
You’ve got a problem. There are a couple of drug cases hanging over your head. One for being caught with meth and fentanyl and another because you sold meth to an undercover cop. You’re going to need a good lawyer, but those can get pretty expensive. What to do…what to do? I suppose you could …
Great Moments In Counterfeiting
Part of me is hoping that this was done as some kind of joke, one of those things where you do something ridiculous and catch someone who should be paying attention 100 percent not doing that. Otherwise, holy Jesus. Counterfeiters often make large-denomination bills, but these guys set their sights much lower — $2 coins. …
Another Reason To Just Wear Your Mask And Shut The Hell UP
If you don’t, you might just wind up having to serve the 25 years for murder that you’ve spent the last couple of decades successfully avoiding. Police in Poland have arrested a convicted murderer who had been on the run for 20 years because he was not wearing a face mask. Warsaw police said they …
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Of Course They’ll Give Me The Money. They Know Me Here
I don’t know much about Fountain Valley, California. I don’t even think I had heard of it until just now. But if there’s one thing I do know about it, that thing is that it is the home of more than one bank. In fact, typing the words “Fountain Valley California bank” into Google like …
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For Sale: One…No. Not One Of Those
When advertising something for sale online, it is wise to include a photo of the item in question so that prospective buyers can more easily tell whether or not they’re interested. Also wise? Taking a gander at that photo before uploading it just in case the big ol bag of meth that is not for …
Wake UP, Methew
You may read many funnier things today, but the description of how this fellow was discovered hit me the right way just now. “On Friday, September 17th, Matthew Williamson, 37, was charged with Unlawful Breaking and Entering a Vehicle (UBEV) and Theft of Property 3rd Degree. Pleasant Grove police officers transported him to Jefferson County …
Catch And Release
Today’s handy criminal hint: When attempting to pull the old steal a car from a dealership and then trade it in at another dealership scam, it is helpful to keep in mind that thing I just said about *another* dealership. According to First Coast News and some other Florida outlets, police in Jacksonville responded to …