Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
This one contains exactly what it says on the tin…er…make that the can. Or perhaps the bottle. Could be the frosty mug, too. Those sometimes have things printed on them. Drunk driver arrested after crashing into ‘Drive Sober or Get Pulled Over’ sign A North Port man was arrested for DUI Sunday after crashing his …
Continue reading “Do This, Don’t Do That, Can’t You Read The Sign?”
You add Weird Al and autotune, that’s how. I watched maybe five minutes of that “shitshow” on Tuesday night and the one question I had was who do I want to punch in the face more, everyone on that stage for being just the most insufferable childish assholes or me for not making better use …
Continue reading “How Do You Almost Make The Presidential Debate Watchable?”
I would very much like to tell you all that I am surprised to learn that people have been accidentally setting fires by putting their masks in the microwave to sterilize them, but that would be a lie. What does surprise me, however, is that the sort of person who would do a thing like …
Am I the only one to whom this makes zero sense? The future of social circles is on the bubble and visitors to nursing homes in “hot zones” like Toronto, Peel Region and Ottawa are being restricted because of the rapid, record-setting spread of COVID-19 as the province injects more cash into long-term care. Premier …
It occurs to me as I sit here with the song playing in the background that the Barenaked Ladies are lucky that they wrote “If I Had $1000000” when they did. Had they written it today, they’d have gotten to the line about buying a house and that would be it. I wish I was …
Notwithstanding the way he’s approaching the back to school plan, I stand by what I said a few months ago. The Doug Ford that we’ve gotten during the pandemic is a much better Doug Ford than the regular Doug Ford. He’s also a pretty amusing Doug Ford, and not for the usual reasons (mockery, ridicule, …
Continue reading “Drinkin’ And Huggin’ And Kissin’ And Spittin’”
Are we calling the kickoff event the Tapping of the Keys or the Typing of the Keg? When one of the event streams malfunctions, should we all sing “I’m Frozen”? I wish I could take full credit for that last joke, but most of it has to go to the well lubricated fellow in my …
Continue reading “Two Important Questions About Online Oktoberfest”
I can’t help but wonder if, after the successful completion of this mission, it was this person who then made his way to Guelph and shat in that dishwasher the other week. Someone broke in to Norfolk County home and dumped urine in foyer: police They say at least one suspect broke into the home …
If the police pull you over, end up searching your vehicle and finding a bunch of drugs, maybe trying to pin the stuff on some guy to whom you had recently given a ride and the vehicle’s real owner might seem like it’s worth a shot. But if you’re going to do that, be very …
I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything, but if your name is O’Toole and you have a son, why in god’s name would you call him Jack? Do you expect that he’ll never ever find himself in the company of other children or people in their 40s who sometimes still act like children? …
Continue reading “And This Guy Thinks I Should Question Trudeau’s Judgment”