Note to journalists everywhere: When writing a story about a guy with a long history of molesting folks on the subway, there’s got to be a better way to describe him than “the 6-foot, 227-pound Johnson”, even if Johnson does happen to be his name. Remember, people like me read these things, and people like …
Category Archives: news
Colourful Dispute
Oh dear. When the estranged parents of a baby are fighting over which gang’s colours their baby should wear, it’s a sign they shouldn’t have had a kid. Yikes.
Kids Are Going Down The YouTubes!
Let me get this straight. Victoria Lindsay had anger problems, she was known to mouth off, had fought with her parents and had moved in with a girl who became one of her attackers and was having problems with her, but it’s all YouTube’s and MySpace’s fault that she was beaten up by some girls …
Matters Of The Heart
That’s just creepy. First we had the guy turned on to housework by a donated kidney from a woman. Now we have a guy who received a heart in a transplant surgery killing himself in the same way as the transplant donor did. Oh, and he married the donor’s widow too. It really makes you …
Smile! You’re On Useless Camera!
A new study on the effectiveness of security cameras in San Francisco has come to the obvious conclusion that, no, the things do not in fact work. The only thing accomplished by the spying is that some of the crime that used to take place in camera range now takes place a few hundred feet …
I Smell Paranoia
Wow, we’re really getting paranoid. Because a kid drew on his shirt and then sniffed where he’d just drawn, the school principal assumed he was huffing marker fumes and suspended him. He didn’t even explain to the kid why he was worried, and the kid was left quite confused. That principal must have come from …
I Wonder If The Resulting Yelling Will Last For A Few Episodes Of Sesame Street
Nothing really amusing or horribly weird about this story, guy leaves kids in car while going into Wal-Mart. But what I do find really cute was the kids’ attempt to tell time. They were left in the car for the length of a Barney and Friends episode, but not as long as an episode of …
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Oh My, We’re Doomed!
Yikes! Our world is going to hell when 9 third-graders plot to kill a teacher and mean business! The teacher told one of them not to stand on a chair, so she and some others started bringing a broken steak knife, handcuffs, duct tape, electrical and transparent tape, ribbons and a crystal paperweight to school …
Just A Thought
Hmmm. If you’re willing to hurl glass objects at each other over who ate the last english muffin, ending in head wounds, maybe you shouldn’t be room-mates. Or maybe you should cut back on the booze.
Got Your Nose
Ug. I can’t imagine biting a pit bull on the nose to stop it from attacking your dog. Now the chick may have to get rabies treatments.