When I heard about the guy who, uh, left a donation in one of the toilets at the Toilet Museum, so many questions came to mind. My first reaction was, what the hell was he thinking? Would you go into a war museum and test fire a gun on display? If you were a pilot, …
Category Archives: news
It’s a Dangerous School, But Not In The Way You’d Think
Wow. You know your school sucks when this shit starts happening. Apparently, Jamaica High School has such a bad record, being called a dangerous school, that staff were sent a memmo instructing them not to call 911. It stated that only the principal or assistant principal were allowed to do this. Fifteen days later, fourteen-year-old …
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Add New Hardware Now!
This audio-playing vibrator is way too fancy. Let’s count all the accessories. full-function silicone vibrator with interchangeable shafts interchangeable? Ok then. 64 megabytes of Ram with built-in USB port ram? I don’t wanna talk about ram with vibrators. And ports? Oh dear. built-in microphone for voice and sound recording What in the blue christ are …
Asalt with a Deadly Burger
Before our good friend Joe Clark gets all up in arms about my misspelling in the title, I did do it on purpose. I figured I should mention it since he tends to pipe up when homosexuality is discussed, and it’s a stretch, but this story does involve meat between two buns. This definitely smacks …
More ADA Guide Dog Goodness!
Oh boy. First I was mad because regular folk could pretend their pets were service animals, and now I find out we’re getting screwed over by blind people too! Are you confused? I was at first. This is how it went. A couple got guide dogs from Leader dogs, another guide dog school. They were …
Home Cosmetic Surgery?
Ok, explain this one to me. You decide you need cosmetic surgery. You find a couple who say they’ll do it for a reasonable rate. You are brought to their office and find that their office is actually a filthy house filled with drugs and syringes and four children running around in it and you …
Click Here to Continue The Service
There was a vicar in England who: spat in a paritioner’s face posted supposedly confidential cards where people had written their innermost thoughts had a bad temper and bullied people on the church board would not comfort paritioners when their parents died but no one said anything until he… delivered the Christmas day service in …
Criminal Cat?
Steve and I were talking about ASBO’s because of that story about that man who just loves hospital gowns and he told me about an ASBO being issued to a cat! Yep, it goes meow, claw, spit, hiss, chases string and anything that moves, including the neighbours in this one’s case, and it has a …
Don’t Take that Born To Be Wild Thing Too Seriously There, Buddy!
Justin Patterson led police on a high-speed chase through two counties. Was he drunk? No. Did he have warrants? Nope. Why was he going so fast and driving like a complete moron? He was late for his test to get his motorcycle license. Well, after being charged with reckless driving, speeding 130 mph in a …
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Rock Bottom
This story starts off pretty boring. Michael Marburger was a successful salesman of medical equipment who then found himself addicted to booze and gambling, and fired from his job. So, to feed his addiction, he started stealing medical equipment. But the only medical equipment he stole was, well, colonoscopes. He would march right into 22 …