I don’t know if it’s all uphill or downhill from here, but married life is definitely off to a rough start for you when day one consists of drunkenly, creepily and forcefully trying for some sexy time with a teenage waitress in a bathroom and fighting with the resulting police officers at your own wedding. …
Category Archives: news
Coming Soon: The Who Has The Coolest Skin Graft Challenge!
Yeah yeah yeah rhetorical question blah blah blah, but what in the fuck is the matter with people? Hey kids, I’ve got a great idea! How’s about we boil up a big bunch of water, go outside in the freezing cold and then toss it up in the air? And when that’s done, daddy’s gonna …
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So He Won?
Police: Man found dead in vacant Detroit building was playing hide-and-seek with friends According to officials with the Detroit Police Department, the man, whose identity has not been released, was with a group of friends suspected of trespassing between midnight and 1:30 a.m. when they played the game on the ninth floor of the building on Detroit’s …
I’m Here For Help Quitting Smoking, Dr….Wait…What?
Our friend Barb sent along this article on the issue of vaping teenagers and addiction, complete with quotes from smoking cessation physician Dr. Andrew Pipe. Because when you think it’s time to quit smoking, you think Pipe. It’s just common sense, people! This is not a quote from Dr. Andrew Pipe, but it’s so friggin …
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Arrest Your Elders
If you’re going to rob a hotel, maybe don’t use its own sheets as your disguise. And maybe don’t book a room there under your own name. And hiding in that room after the fact and expecting not to be discovered? You should maybe forget about that, too. Joseph Elder, 59, of Wayne, New Jersey, …
Nope, Still Not Signing UP For That Facebook Account
Generally speaking, 2018 was a pretty decent year for me. But you know who can’t say the same? Facebook. THE 21 (AND COUNTING) BIGGEST FACEBOOK SCANDALS OF 2018 “Of 2018.” Not of all time I again remind you, “of 2018. Jesus Murphy on a stack of lawsuits, that’s no good at all. December 2018: Another …
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Aren’t You Supposed To Take Those With Your Phone?
Schoolgirl, 13, shoots herself in face while taking selfie with dad’s gun She lived, if you’re curious. She did get a broken jaw and other facial injuries for her trouble, though. And her dad may be in some hot water for not storing his gun properly.
The Hard Is Still On
Back in 2016, we learned of twice convicted public masturbator Anthony Hardison (yes, that’s still his real name) and his attempt to become thrice convicted public masturbator Anthony Hardison by doing what he does whilst registering as a sex offender. Unfortunately, it seems that as of last year, he’s still at it. The latest alleged …
The Best Fries. Tremendous Football Team
What do you do if you’re the President of the United States, you’ve got the national college football champions coming over for dinner, but all of your kitchen people are taking a nice unpaid vacation because your temper tantrums have the workings of the country pretty well paralyzed? You could either reschedule things until you’re …
You’re Toast, Buddy!
Story is about a year old, but I’m still going to post it for a few reasons: Age ain’t nothin’ but a number. A fight broke out in a restaurant over a damn toaster, which is one of those dumb things we kind of keep track of. Is it common at British buffets to have …