Category Archives: news

Canada Is Getting Mandatory, Localized Emergency Alerts Via Smartphone Soon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHHdM4dkKkc Just so you know, your phone is about to start randomly scaring the shit out of you. But this is a good thing. Canada is finally getting a smartphone compatible emergency alert system. Canada’s wireless providers are preparing for an update to the National Public Alerting System that will force smartphones to sound an …

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Aside From Every Bit Of It Being Stupid As Hell, I Understand None Of This

I don’t know if Thomas Hartman was high on his own supply or what, but I’m having trouble coming up with anything else that would explain any of this. For some reason, Hartman accused either his cousin or his brother (depending on whether you believe the written article or the irritating autoplaying video on a …

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Why Can’t I Bolt In This Bolt?

Cory Allen Patrick and I have something in common. Neither one of us knows how to drive an electric car. The owner of a 2017 Chevy Bolt told police he had stopped at a stop sign at the intersection when a man, later identified as Patrick, approached his driver’s-side window, the affidavit said. It said …

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If The Police Are Out Here Looking For Drugs, Somebody’s Got To Sell Them To Them, Right?

This news release from the Alexandria, Louisiana police department says basically everything that this post is going to need, so I’m just going to leave it here. Suspect Waves Drugs for Sale in Front of Officers On February 22, around 7:00 pm, APD officers were conducting an investigation at a residence in the 2300 block …

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United Breaks The International Date Line…And Also A Dog

Again with the dogs, United? At least you didn’t kill anyone this time, so you’ve got that going for you, I guess. KCTV reports that Kara Swindle and her two children flew from Oregon to Kansas City, Missouri, Tuesday on a United flight. They went to a cargo facility to pick up 10-year-old Irgo, a …

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United Breaks The Rules Of Overhead Bin Stowage…And Also A Dog

If there’s one truth about United Airlines, it’s that no matter what the greatest extent to which something can be fucked up is, they’re the people who will find it. Today’s episode: Let’s put this family’s dog in this here overhead bin and see what happens. You, because you do not work for United and …

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I Was On The News Talking About Fake Service Dogs

I didn’t realize it when I woke up yesterday, but I was going to be on the news by the end of the day. Don’t worry, it wasn’t for something scary or stupid. I guess an old friend from school ended up talking to a reporter about the problem of disservice dogs and how businesses …

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Save Money, Live If The Ancient Cereal Doesn’t Kill You

I have an urge to go through every cupboard in our house all of a sudden, not to mention a simultaneous urge to maybe never shop at Walmart again. I can’t quite put my finger on why either of these things might be. A Lakewood family bought a box of Quaker 100% Natural Granola cereal …

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Your Money Making Strategy Is The Pits, Sir

A wee bit of free advice, if I may. If you owe $560,000 in back child support, have managed to evade capture for 20 some years and are considered by the American government to be that country’s most wanted deadbeat dad, maybe don’t try to defraud a restaurant. That is to say, be smarter than …

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