I don’t make a habit of it and I feel a little bad whenever I do, but there have been times when I’ve paid for things with nothing but change. Thank goodness none of those times was a transaction at Islam El Masry’s food cart. I enjoy Sriracha, but not when it’s applied directly to …
Category Archives: news
Can It Be? Did Trump Try To Tell The Truth For The First Time?
Recently, Donald Trump did something not at all unusual for him. He made a bad policy decision. This time it’s one that might start a global trade war, because that’s the sort of thing that tends to happen when you just up and decide one day that you’re slapping tariffs on steel and aluminum that …
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Hi! It’s Adam From the Ontario NDP. Do You Have Some Random Numbers I Can Dial?
I don’t know how widespread it is, but the NDP is
Might Be Time To Look Into Changing Your Name To Sober Upman
Given that she’s been arrested at least 15 times, I’m surprised that neither of us caught Crystal Methvin before now. Police say they responded to a parking lot on South Dixie Highway and found three people sitting in a car. The people in the car consented to a search and police say they found drug …
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Of Course I’m Not A…Beepbeepboopboop…Crap!
Points for being diligent I guess, but I sure hope these Fiat selling Floridians understand cars better than they seem to understand computers. Yeesh. https://twitter.com/MarciRobin/status/998030243981033472 The sales guy was handing me paper after paper with a brief explanation of what each one was for, and then he handed me that page — with literally nothing …
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May Masturbation Take Place Not, May Meth Not Cloud Your Mind, No Officer To Say You’ll Blow, No Bars You’ll Be Behind (Updated)
Maybe Kevin Adkins had nobody to kiss New Year’s Eve. Perhaps that’s why he was so intent on taking matters into his own hands. Or it might have been the meth. Yeah, that’s probably it. Stay off the meth, everyone. I haven’t tried most of them, but there are some drugs that look like they …
Did You Guys Hear All The Loud, Useless Noise After The Emergency Alert?
Today in people who can fuck right off in the direction of hell and hopefully choke on a party-sized bag of dicks on their way if good fortune is smiling on the rest of us: Everyone complaining about getting Amber Alerts on their phones yesterday. The Ontario Provincial Police had issued the alert for a missing …
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Is The Emergency Alert System Supposed to Alert Emergency?
As most of us in Ontario know, there was a test of the new Alert Ready emergency alert system last week. It’s a good thing it was a test because some people in Ontario didn’t get it at all, some people only got it on some of their devices, the whole province of Quebec didn’t …
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Toss Those Crabs
Crabs absolutely don’t belong on TTC seats. We know this because the Toronto Transit Commission had to issue a statement saying as much this week after someone brought a few on a train ride. Why? Who knows? It could be, as this tweet suggests, simply “because Toronto.” https://twitter.com/Alice_Moran/status/993612141667278851 By the way, props to the TTC …
Control That Gun, Shooter!
Why wouldn’t the sexual harassment accusations against a man named Don Shooter involve him comparing his dong to a shooter? It’s just common sense, really. Shooter’s first and most prominent accuser was state Rep. Michelle Ugenti-Rita, a fellow Republican. According to the Arizona Republic, Ugenti-Rita said Shooter sought a romantic relationship with her on several …