It’s hard for me to sit here, especially these days, and bag on anyone for wanting to remove sadness, negativity and pain from their lives. I will say, however, that in my experience, simply pouring some of the alcohol from the bottle into myself rather than onto something that I’m trying to set on fire …
Category Archives: that was dumb
You Do Learn Better After A Good Lunch, So Maybe We Shouldn’t Laugh
There was a time when something like the United States Secretary of Education not knowing the difference between technology and steak sauce would be remembered and ridiculed for years, like Dan Quayle and his “potatoe”. But nowadays? Barely registers. There really are just too many goofy ass motherfuckers in this timeline. “I heard, I think …
Continue reading “You Do Learn Better After A Good Lunch, So Maybe We Shouldn’t Laugh”
What Are You Repairing, The System With The Launch Codes On It!?
I’m not going to slag this woman too much for being taken in by the there is a problem with your computer, please contact support scam. I’ve had to bail a couple of nervous people out of that thing in my day. Thankfully they were smart enough to call me instead of the number on …
Continue reading “What Are You Repairing, The System With The Launch Codes On It!?”
That’s One…
A teenager who sneaked into a closed funfair with friends was crushed to death by the mechanical arm of one of the rides, an inquest heard today. That ride? Body Count. Mr Partington said KFRS was called to reports of a male trapped with the mechanics of a fairground ride at 7:44am. He said the …
Definitely Going To Fool Them
“Ok now. Before we leave, I have to ask. Did you remember to properly label the drugs bag?” “You mean the definitely not drugs bag? Of course!” “That’s right! We can’t be driving around looking as dumb as those bag full of drugs guys.” “Nope. We’re way smarter than that! No way in hell we’re …
Thanks For Your Help, Said Both Sides Of The Equation
Our boy made a couple of mistakes here. If you’re going to shoplift at Walmart, maybe leave the 37 pounds of marijuana at home instead of in the trunk of your car. If for some reason you haven’t done that, definitely don’t give your key fob to the police when they offer to help you …
Continue reading “Thanks For Your Help, Said Both Sides Of The Equation”
Gosh Darn It, I Forgot To Bring A Reusable Again. How Silly Of Me
Though I understand the impulse to get annoyed when all you want is one simple bag in which you can carry one simple thing and you can’t have one, this seems like a slight overreaction. Seems like some Olympic level grudge holding, too. At around 10:30 p.m. Saturday, the driver slammed the car into the …
Continue reading “Gosh Darn It, I Forgot To Bring A Reusable Again. How Silly Of Me”
It’s Time For Not Calling 911 About Tims
It’s always fun listening to someone who appears to be discovering in real time that he’s being a total dipshit. You can almost feel the panic, mental calculations and sense of resignation in your own self as reality sets in. Coffee mishaps are brutal, but NOT a 911 emergency! Nor were nearly 125,000 misuse calls …
Perhaps We Need A Registry For That, Too
I’m having a little trouble figuring out exactly how stupid this gentleman is. Like clearly he’s stupid, but is he stupid or is he stuuuuuuupid? Police say a Hamilton man went to Kitchener around 11 a.m. on Thursday to “meet with a female youth for a sexual purpose.” When he arrived at the meeting spot …
Faster Than A Speeding Gullet
I imagine emptying out a gun shop is the sort of thing that would make a fella pretty hungry, but next time, maybe try holding those cravings until you and your rented car are a little further from the scene of the crime. A gang who stole firearms from a gun shop were caught when …