I Need A Babysitter. For Myself, Judging By The Kinds Of Things I Get Tricked Into

My brain has been through a lot these last couple weeks (more on that sometime down the road I’m sure), but I still have no idea why this particular scam worked. Maybe you can pull it once because there’s someone out there that’ll fall for anything, but multiple times? Nothing about it makes any sense. …

Tell Me I Didn’t Just Hear That!

User demanded a ‘wireless’ computer and was outraged when its battery died This reminds me of a good friend of ours. He loves the idea of new technology, but he has no idea how to use any of it, god bless him. Years ago, when Aftershokz came out with wireless headphones, he excitedly bought a …

Let’s Go To The Hop. And The Courthouse. And The Jail

$700,000 is a pretty nice chunk of change to be sure, but if I’m going to need to amputate my legs and then tell the insurance company that sepsis got me in order to claim it, I’ll do without, thanks. I guess I’m just not as determined as the now appropriately named Neil Hopper. It …

Dear Congress: If You Want To Have A Fun Summer, Smoke My Wiener. Signed, Canada

A group of six Republican politicians from Wisconsin and Minnesota took a break from polishing Trump’s knob or whatever it is that Congress does to let the world know that they neither know how the wind works nor that their own country also has forests that sometimes catch on fire, hurting and killing people in the …

I Don’t Think It Worked

It’s hard for me to sit here, especially these days, and bag on anyone for wanting to remove sadness, negativity and pain from their lives. I will say, however, that in my experience, simply pouring some of the alcohol from the bottle into myself rather than onto something that I’m trying to set on fire …

You Do Learn Better After A Good Lunch, So Maybe We Shouldn’t Laugh

There was a time when something like the United States Secretary of Education not knowing the difference between technology and steak sauce would be remembered and ridiculed for years, like Dan Quayle and his “potatoe”. But nowadays? Barely registers. There really are just too many goofy ass motherfuckers in this timeline. “I heard, I think …

What Are You Repairing, The System With The Launch Codes On It!?

I’m not going to slag this woman too much for being taken in by the there is a problem with your computer, please contact support scam. I’ve had to bail a couple of nervous people out of that thing in my day. Thankfully they were smart enough to call me instead of the number on …

Definitely Going To Fool Them

“Ok now. Before we leave, I have to ask. Did you remember to properly label the drugs bag?” “You mean the definitely not drugs bag? Of course!” “That’s right! We can’t be driving around looking as dumb as those bag full of drugs guys.” “Nope. We’re way smarter than that! No way in hell we’re …