We were going to call this “MRI in the Mourning”, but I like my title better. Even so, have a song. I heard about this story of a dude with a weight training chain around his neck getting sucked into an MRI machine. I can only stammer and gape and wonder how this was allowed …
Category Archives: that was dumb
Let’s Go To The Hop. And The Courthouse. And The Jail
$700,000 is a pretty nice chunk of change to be sure, but if I’m going to need to amputate my legs and then tell the insurance company that sepsis got me in order to claim it, I’ll do without, thanks. I guess I’m just not as determined as the now appropriately named Neil Hopper. It …
Continue reading “Let’s Go To The Hop. And The Courthouse. And The Jail”
Dear Congress: If You Want To Have A Fun Summer, Smoke My Wiener. Signed, Canada
A group of six Republican politicians from Wisconsin and Minnesota took a break from polishing Trump’s knob or whatever it is that Congress does to let the world know that they neither know how the wind works nor that their own country also has forests that sometimes catch on fire, hurting and killing people in the …
Continue reading “Dear Congress: If You Want To Have A Fun Summer, Smoke My Wiener. Signed, Canada”
I Don’t Think It Worked
It’s hard for me to sit here, especially these days, and bag on anyone for wanting to remove sadness, negativity and pain from their lives. I will say, however, that in my experience, simply pouring some of the alcohol from the bottle into myself rather than onto something that I’m trying to set on fire …
You Do Learn Better After A Good Lunch, So Maybe We Shouldn’t Laugh
There was a time when something like the United States Secretary of Education not knowing the difference between technology and steak sauce would be remembered and ridiculed for years, like Dan Quayle and his “potatoe”. But nowadays? Barely registers. There really are just too many goofy ass motherfuckers in this timeline. “I heard, I think …
Continue reading “You Do Learn Better After A Good Lunch, So Maybe We Shouldn’t Laugh”
What Are You Repairing, The System With The Launch Codes On It!?
I’m not going to slag this woman too much for being taken in by the there is a problem with your computer, please contact support scam. I’ve had to bail a couple of nervous people out of that thing in my day. Thankfully they were smart enough to call me instead of the number on …
Continue reading “What Are You Repairing, The System With The Launch Codes On It!?”
That’s One…
A teenager who sneaked into a closed funfair with friends was crushed to death by the mechanical arm of one of the rides, an inquest heard today. That ride? Body Count. Mr Partington said KFRS was called to reports of a male trapped with the mechanics of a fairground ride at 7:44am. He said the …
Definitely Going To Fool Them
“Ok now. Before we leave, I have to ask. Did you remember to properly label the drugs bag?” “You mean the definitely not drugs bag? Of course!” “That’s right! We can’t be driving around looking as dumb as those bag full of drugs guys.” “Nope. We’re way smarter than that! No way in hell we’re …
Thanks For Your Help, Said Both Sides Of The Equation
Our boy made a couple of mistakes here. If you’re going to shoplift at Walmart, maybe leave the 37 pounds of marijuana at home instead of in the trunk of your car. If for some reason you haven’t done that, definitely don’t give your key fob to the police when they offer to help you …
Continue reading “Thanks For Your Help, Said Both Sides Of The Equation”
Gosh Darn It, I Forgot To Bring A Reusable Again. How Silly Of Me
Though I understand the impulse to get annoyed when all you want is one simple bag in which you can carry one simple thing and you can’t have one, this seems like a slight overreaction. Seems like some Olympic level grudge holding, too. At around 10:30 p.m. Saturday, the driver slammed the car into the …
Continue reading “Gosh Darn It, I Forgot To Bring A Reusable Again. How Silly Of Me”