New app targets distracted drivers with traffic alerts Maybe I’m the idiot here, but it strikes me that the only app we should need to tackle distracted driving is one called the power button that shuts the fucking phone off while you’re driving because clearly you don’t have enough self control built in. Instead of …
Category Archives: that was dumb
The Conservative Leadership Race Just Got Interesting
Not really at least not yet, but it sure sounds like Bryan Adams (yes, that Bryan Adams) is gearing up for a run. Based on his first campaign speech, he appears to be trying to split the Derek Sloan vote. https://www.instagram.com/p/CADYjsonDVJ/ In case this ends up deleted, here’s what he said. CUTS LIKE A KNIFE. …
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Here, Take My Card. Oh, And My Shween
Lewdness incident at Vineland Public Library leads to arrest A library patron told officers she was sitting and reading a book on Monday when a man struck up a conversation and gave her a card identifying himself as Darell Jones. While chatting, the man reportedly moved closer to the woman and exposed himself, prompting her to move away and …
Did She Have To Dust Herself?
Let’s be clear. Groping somebody who does not wish to be groped is never a good or smart thing to do. But it is especially unsmart when the person in question is the fingerprint lady who happens to be booking you into jail. As Evans was being fingerprinted by technician Dena Pham, he allegedly “reached …
Hey Hey! Ho Ho! All Of Us Have Got To Go!
I totally understand being irritated by the constant noise, but I question the logic of using laxatives to *stop* incessant tooting. Angered by the noise coming from a union picket line across frome their home, an Ohio couple allegedly made sugar cookies spiked with a laxative and gave the baked goods to striking school employees, …
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Ahh What The Heck. I’m Already Here Anyway
I don’t know what other problems Casey Michael Lewis may have, but impulse control is clearly an issue for him. According to police, Casey Michael Lewis, 34, was booked into the St. Lucie County jail around 4 AM Thursday following his arrest at a Walmart for grand theft, a felony, and other charges. Lewis bonded …
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Look On The Bright Side. You Did End UP Getting Screwed
The best thing about the story of Jon Omer Sengul isn’t that he called 911 to complain about a prostitution transaction gone awry, but rather that he seemed to know exactly what he was doing and didn’t much care. And yes, his name being Jon is also kind of fun. When contacted by police, Sengul …
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You Know That Ain’t Them Dogs’ Real Voice
Ok, people. We have established that guide dogs can’t read maps, traffic lights, street signs or the news. Now, let’s clear something else up while we’re at it. Dogs aren’t writing anything either. There’s a Facebook page called Zoe the Seeing Eye dog. In it, Zoe’s handler writes as if she is the dog, like …
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There Are No Rules About Mental Distancing. Stop That!
I have been feeling anxious when out walking because I never feel like I can keep the six feet of distance. This is not helped by Shmans’s tendency to kind of buzz people as they go by. Sometimes she just scoots past them, and sometimes she has sniffed people in a moment of weakness. Either …
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You First, Mr. President
Perhaps I’m being unreasonable and setting my standards impossibly high here, but I’m having a tough time talking myself out of the position that please do not ingest or inject disinfectants into your body for any reason is a thing we should have to tell most people, especially when one of those people is the …