What do you think you are going to find in a jug of egg nog? Since it is *egg* nog, I would think a reasonable person would deduce that it contains eggs. Am I wrong? Apparently, I am, and the poor folks at Smiling Hill Farm have to hand-stick labels on all the caps on …
Category Archives: that was dumb
Anything To Declare? Yeah, A Dead Man, Thanks To You!
I hope I never need some kind of emergency ambulance transport across the border. If I do, I hope the ambulance carrying me doesn’t get stopped by Customs Officers, like happened to poor Rick Laporte. The man had a heart attack, needed emergency angioplasty, and the closest place to go was Detroit. His heart stopped …
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Remembrance Day Forgetfulness
I was watching the news last night, and a story came on that doesn’t even need the time of day. But, it’s the local news, where coverage of snow blowing around in open areas is considered important, and it being another scorcher out there gets top priority, so I guess it’s slim pickin’s. Anyway, the …
Babble Fish
Wow, Babelfish took a dignified set of questions and turned them, well, into Vogon poetry. A bunch of Israeli journalists were going to go over to Holland and attend a seminar on the Dutch political system. They were asked to send a list of their questions. The leader of the delegation was away on some …
What’s With Me and Gerbils Today?
Oh my god. I just talked to the stupidest person doing telemarketing in the universe. This story makes more sense if I can imitate this numbnut’s voice, but I’ll try to simulate it in writing. I pick up, and this voice says, “Hello. uh, um, Carin?” Damn me to hell for giving to charities over …
Which Is Lower, The Temperature Or Your IQ?
The Cool Cash lottery game has been pulled from stores in the UK after a number of complaints from angry customers whofailed to grasp how it worked. The game, unveiled late last month, required players to scratch off a window to reveal a temperature. If that temperature was lower than another figure shown on the …
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Spineless Robber May Have Less Of A Spine Now
Wow. I’m sure the robber in this story wasn’t expecting to be shot in the neck by a 75-year-old blind man. I’m wondering if the shooter was Carey McWilliams’ grandfather. I guess that blind man was a good shot. The shootee is in serious condition with a bullet lodged close to his spine and they …
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Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest
Wow. This is just stupid. Not a single person in this story looks smart. Not a one. Lets’ begin, well, at the beginning. It all started in the town of Swanville, Maine, when an 18-year-old woman decided that the only way to get rid of those bastard fleas would be to shave the cat. Appalled …
Shall We Head To The Graveyard Of Bad Ideas?
I need somebody to explain thisAnti-Groping Applithing to me, because I’m just not getting it. Snip from the article, which is trying but failing: The application flashes increasingly threatening messages in bold print on the phone’s screen to show to the offender: “Excuse me, did you just grope me?” “Groping is a crime,” and finally, …
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Hammering The Point Home That He’s An Asshole.
Here’s a story for ya. 57-year-old Jayantibhai Patel was living with his father and caring for him. He was thinking of heading back to India and his father didn’t want to move with him. So he thought maybe this would be a good time to put dear old Dad in a nursing home. Unfortunately for …
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