This Is My House Damn It!

Let’s hope this never happens to me. I’m always afraid I’ll open the wrong door in the apartment building and piss someone off, just like this blind intoxicated Harris County man did. The story is too funny on its own, so I’ll just quote it and laugh. HOUSTON, July 24 (UPI) — A blind man …

Man Vs. Machine

The city of Guelph recently passed a bylaw stating that all cabs must have their sign lights turned off when they are carrying passengers. That sounds pretty mundane I know, but wait until you hear why. According to Guelph Police Services Board lawyer Harry Perets, the law is designed to eliminate the confusion and safety …

Thank God These Two Didn’t Breed!

Wow. This story is just, um, well, stupid. The guy feels like an idiot, does he? So he should. Let’s tell a quick version of the story, as quick as possible anyway. Michael Moylan, 45, woke up with crazy head pain. He asked his wife to drive him to the hospital. He wondered why she …

Helping You Feel Better About Yourself

I’ve seen me some stupid people on Family Feud before, but I don’t remember anything that comes close to toppingthese guys. What I can’t figure out is how they made it to Fast Money. that means they had to have won, which seems impossible. And if they won, that means that the people they beat …

Pencil Sharpeners Don’t Kill People, Idiots With Pencil Sharpeners Kill People

Some days I find myself thinking that we really ought to just wipe the world clean and start over. After seeingthis,it’s safe to say that today is definitely one of them. First it was the shatterproof ruler. Then came the compass with a soft point. Now one of the UK’s biggest stationery manufacturers is redesigning …

Ok, I Think I’ve Just Officially Heard It All

Thisis one of the most ridiculous explanations I’ve heard for anything in the entire history of ever. A Rochester man who said his poor eyesight caused him to molest his girlfriend’s prepubescent daughter was ordered to prison today. Monroe County Court Judge Frank P. Geraci Jr. sentenced Eric Kennedy, 38, to 12 years behind bars …

Come On Baby Light My Face

Here’s another one for the hahahaha! files. A man broke into a convenience store, grabbed some lottery tickets, and set the place ablaze. But while he was spraying the surveillance camera, he set fire to his face. The camera survived and got a pretty good shot of our friend. By some strange feat, he still …

They Say It’s Your Birthday Eh? Well We’ll See About That!

Here’s a strange one. A texas man wasstabbed with a pitchforkwhile trying to break up a drunken fight between 2 of his nephews. According to police, the 3 men were drinking in their mobile home Sunday afternoon when a dispute broke out over which of the nephews was the oldest. No, seriously, that’s really what …