And this is why we have a parents of the year tag. Six-year-old Florida boy Ryker Roque has died of rabies after being scratched by a bat infected with the disease. Who the heck dies of rabies in the United States in 2018, you might be wondering. Well, that would be six-year-olds whose parents don’t …
Category Archives: that was dumb
Assault And Vinegar
What goes better with dip than chips? A South Carolina man turned violent in a dispute over salt-and-vinegar potato chips, authorities said. Ryan Dean Langdale, 19, had warned his 17-year-old cousin not to eat his chips, but when his relative did, Langdale shot him, authorities said Wednesday. “Do not touch my chips, or I’ll shoot you,” …
Social Security, Maximum Security, What’s The Difference
I didn’t think it was possible, but I do believe I’ve found something even dumber than having your own name tattooed on yourself whilst being a criminal. That something? Having your Social Security number tattooed on yourself whilst being a criminal. At least with your name, there’s a chance the police might be thrown off …
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With Friends Like These…
Update: There’s a less than zero chance that the tweet cited in this post came from a fake account. My apologies for not catching that if that is indeed the case, although I’m far from the only one who bought it. This, however, does not change the main point of what I wrote. What this …
Put The Money In The Bag. Sure, But Put Your License Through The Machine
This is normally where I’d call David Menser an imbecile, but honestly, he might just be an average guy. Why? Because on the one hand he was smart enough to remove the dye pack from the stack of money he got from the bank teller he was robbing, but on the other, that ended up …
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They Should Have Sett It Up To Play Hit The Road Jack
Hey guys, what if we built rumble strips into this here road so that whenever somebody drives on it their tires will make it play a song? It should have taken 20, maybe 30 seconds of thought tops after the chuckles and the I wonder how easy it would bes died down to figure out …
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Let It Snow Let It Snow Let It…woe!
I don’t know how many admitted shoplifters we have reading this, but a question for you in case you exist. How common is it for someone to spend seven hours in the same store filling up a cart with things he plans to take? I always picture shoplifting being something that happens fairly quickly. You …
Bottle Of Wine, Fruit Of The Vine. Who Am I Gonna Have To Run Over
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZynyHW2hfw You know how it is. It’s morning, you’re hammered, and gosh darn it, you’re plumb out of refreshments. What to do…what to do? You could call it a night, of course. How are you going to do it all again this afternoon if you don’t sleep now, right? But if you feel you absolutely …
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That Time The Mayor Of Toronto Insulted An Entire Continent
What is it with Toronto and racist politicians? No, not him. Him either. I’m talking about Mel Lastman, because I have just been reminded that today is the anniversary of the time he said he didn’t want to go to Africa because he might get boiled alive. Yes, that was a thing that the head …
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Safety First
Whether Floridians behave like meth users or meth users behave like Floridians will probably always remain a mystery, but of one thing we can definitely be certain: the ones that make the news most often aren’t going to be the best or the brightest. They may, if 49-year-old Douglas Kelly has his way about it, …