Category Archives: that was dumb

Sir, Which Of The Things We Found In Your Car Did You Say You Were Named After Again?

There are a number of reasons why I might want to post this story. Our hero speeding past a couple of cops sitting in front of a police station so he could get to court on time is one. Double parking in spaces he’s not supposed to park in in the first place once he …

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Goodbye Philippines, And Everywhere Else, Too

There’s drunk, there’s really drunk, and then, apparently, there’s let’s hug this enormous New Year’s Eve firecracker as it’s about to go off drunk. A drunk man died after he embraced a giant firecracker called Goodbye Philippines as it was about to explode, health secretary Janet Garin told reporters. “His jaw was shattered. He was …

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Did He Think The Cop Would Think He Was The Pharmacist?

When you absolutely have to get to Walmart at 3:30 in the morning and the clothes you’re wearing and bags you’re carrying contain any or all of the following: two suboxone strips 0.5 grams of methamphetamine 6.4 grams of marijuana 0.7 grams of unidentified crystals 5 baggies containing 5.2 grams of black tar heroin a …

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A Gun Disguised As A Cell Phone. Just What America Needs

I want to say right off the top that I hope I’m getting hoaxed here. I don’t think I am, but I really, really hope. Because even though I’ve seen what you’re about to see from a couple of generally reputable sources, when I run into something as stunningly stupid as MN company invents gun …

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Give Me All Your Money Or I’ll Meet You At The Mall Tomorrow And You Can Give It To Me Then

I don’t know if Jason Donte Hayes will wind up being the stupidest criminal of 2016 as this article suggests, but it’ll definitely be safe to shortlist him. According to reports, Hayes disguised himself and entered the home of an elderly couple he used to rent a house from. He woke the woman up with …

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I’m Hoping For A Warning, But I’m Probably Going To Blow It

One of the hardest questions a person can ask himself is do I have a drug problem? I don’t want to claim I have all the answers, but for future reference, if you get pulled over by the police and can’t even wait until the end of what was about to be a routine traffic …

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The Yukon Government Has Been Getting Enough D, If D is for Duh

Damn you, Yukon government. I had to pick up Vitamin D today, and I couldn’t do it with a straight face, and it’s all your fault. Yup, your fault. I think I managed to suppress the giggles long enough for the person helping me find it to not wonder what was so funny about Vitamin …

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Did They Find The Car He Used To Get There, I Wonder

Maybe it was raining. Maybe he’d missed his bus, had someplace else to be and realized he wasn’t going to make it. Maybe his leg was bothering him and he didn’t want to walk all the way home on it. Or maybe Courtney Cordell Wheat is simply one of the stupider of the stupid imbeciles …

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Is Your Brother Home? No, But Since I Don’t Want You To Have Wasted Your Time…

For the sake of Rezwan Hussain, we’ll go over this one more time. If the police come to your house looking for someone who isn’t you, they aren’t looking for you. Stay cool, don’t panic, and whatever you do, don’t throw packages of drugs out the window, especially if their landing spot is right next …

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