Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
This made me laugh really hard. I guess, on some of India’s news channels, they have casual staff serving as news anchors. The other day, Xi Jimping, China’s president, finished up a big visit to India. But, as one unfortunate casual news anchor found out, the president’s name is not the Roman numeral 11. What …
Continue reading “Coming Up Next, A Big Story About 50.50.Bean!”
We say this somewhat frequently, but it seems it’s not sinking in so let’s give it another try. 911 and the Better Business Bureau are not the same thing. Never have been, never will be. Especially not when the complaint you wish to lodge pertains to the lack of prostitution at the strip club you’re …
A strong work ethic is generally an admirable quality in a person, but this seems a little much. The Pasco Sheriff’s deputy said he was notified by the woman’s grandmother that the 10-year-old girl did not return home from a bar-be-que up the street. The deputy said Bobbey Jo Boucher left her daughter at the …
Continue reading “Alright, Everybody! Put Your Hands Together For Terrible Mommy!”
I’m a pretty lucky guy. If I want to stay out late with my friends, Carin is either with us anyway or asks nothing more of me than to please try not to wake her up whenever I decide to come home. The idea that I’d have to fake a debt-related kidnapping in order to …
The list of reasons not to rob a bank is a fairly long one. Had Shantoria Valentine bothered to construct such a list, I wonder if she would have been smart enough to include “I have no getaway car and running 3 blocks just ain’t gonna happen” on it. Mike Wadleigh noticed a woman hurrying …
When your name is Ryan Christopher Smallwood, you’d think that the last conversation you would want to get involved in would be one about your…well…wood. In this case, you would be wrong. At about 1 a.m., a Rock Hill police officer working overtime at the Waffle House on South Anderson Road noticed Ryan Christopher Smallwood, …
Today in a life of crime is not for you, we have this clown from Seattle. A 40-year-old man entered a restaurant in the 600 block of Fifth Avenue South about 8 p.m. and instructed employees to pass him all the cash in the register, according to police reports. He reportedly flashed a long, metal …
Continue reading “Give Me All Your Money! Ok, How About Some Of It? Any Of It? Anybody?”
There’s a reason it’s called the ice bucket challenge and not the ice fire-fighting plane challenge, you fucking idiot. Photographer Bruno Brokken, 51, was flown to hospital in a “critical condition” after the aeroplane opened the hatch dropping 396 gallons of water from a height of 22 feet at an aerodrome near Girona in north …
Continue reading “The Pain In Spain Falls Mainly From The Plane”
A lot of us are pretty attached to our iPhones, but it is my sincere hope that most of us understand that no matter how important they are to us, it’s not worth trying to drain an entire pond to get yours back when you drop it over the side of a fishing boat and …
People will try just about anything to get out of a speeding ticket, up to and including calling 911 to report a fake murder while the officer is distracted in the hopes that he’ll ditch your silly little traffic stop to go help out, apparently. When I say people, I mean Julius Lupowitz, because I …
Continue reading “There Was No Murder. His Brain Cells Were Already Dead”