Sausage And Spice And All That’s Not Nice

Imagine you’re sleeping. Suddenly you wake up and someone is rubbing spices on you and hitting your buddy with a sausage. Both the spices and the sausage came from your own kitchen. What the fuck. Then the guy runs out in only a shirt, boxer shorts and socks. You discover some money is mmissing, but …

>Talk About A Fiery Temper!

>Here’s another one for the wackos doing crazy things files. The poor unnamed ATV-driver was just driving along in a ditch when he was hit by a pickup truck. The driver of the truck doused him in gasoline and tried to set him on fire! Luckily he failed, but what the hell is that? That …

Dude, Next Time, Pack A Lunch!

Wow. This whole greyhound beheading thing just keeps getting weirder. Now, there are articles saying that Li cut off pieces of flesh from the victim and ate them. What the hell happened in this guy’s brain? Was he really that hungry? I mean, they just left a rest stop. Couldn’t he have bought a sandwich …

Talk About Multitasking!

Australia’s Brendon Alan Erhardt, 39, was recently stopped by police for speeding. Not only was he speeding, he was also driving the old stick shift if you catch my drift. But he wasn’t just playing the pink oboe either. He was also filming himself. Filming himself in a car full of drugs and a loaded …

Gory Gory, What A Hell Of A Way To Die

Uh, I think we may have found the rest of Timothy Placko’s stuff. It was found smothering Joyce Germain. A foot spa? An iron chord around her neck? A construction hat on top of the pile of household items? A toaster hanging over the shower rail? A clothespin on her genetals? But two autopsies cannot …

He Should Have Just Said He Was At A Yard Sale

The best word I can come upwith to describe this one is what the fuck? Timothy J. Placko was stopped by police in Port St. Lucie, Florida, who noticed his van driving down a wooded trail Sunday night. I don’t quite know how to describe what happened next, so some snips will have to do. …

Well Who You Callin’ Moon Pie, My Real Name Is Michael…

That’s a new one. Is it good enough to belong in the oompa loompas/Egypt-obsessed stranglers/drunken stuffed dog-screwers/teddy-bear plant stand shrines files? I’m not sure, but it’s weird. Picture this old guy in a convenience store buying some stuff. As he leaves, he gets ker smucked in the shoulder by a random yellow bag. It happens …

Oompa, Loompa, Loompady Doo, I Am A Freakoid Coming For You

Huh? Why did she let him into her house at 3 in the morning if she never talked to him except online and he called with a strange request to sleep somewhere else? And…hoola hoops and hay? And…pink glitter? We’re developing a set of cases for the What the Fuck Department. bongo drum teddy bear …