Moving UP In The theft World

Well, looks like they decided to charge the assholes who swiped that Girl Scout’s cookie money, and at least one of them has moved on to bigger and better things, only now we have her name because she’s 18. Stefanie Woods pleaded no contest to leaving Denny’s without paying. All the little punk has learned to do is say sorry. Then probably she thinks she’ll get half a chance. Not after getting convicted of stealing the cookie money.

Why did that story make me so angry? There are far worse crimes than not paying a bill for a meal. Oh yeah, they involve stealing things from little kids.

Wouldn’t It Be GreatIf Everybody Had A Gun?

Don’t piss anyone off in Butler, Missouri. You may wind up full of lead. Why? Because tons of people carry tons of guns in their cars. Now, there’s a car dealership who is taking advantage of this love for things that go bang boom pow. If you buy a car at Max motors, you can get either $250 in free gas, or a free semi-automatic handgun! Well actually you just get the certificate for a semi-automatic weapon, but if you pass the background check, you can have one absolutely free, and 80% of people are taking the gun over the gas.

Walter Moore, an employee at Max Motors, says it’s just because there are so many carjackings and thefts out there that one should protect themselves. Ok, I guess. I don’t know much about semi-automatic handguns, or guns in general, so at first I thought they could fire a lot of bullets per minute. Yup,Jill can start laughing at my complete lack of gun knowledge. I guess they can only fire one shot per pull of the trigger. But from the googling around that I’ve done, marines use semi-automatics, and there have been lots of gun accidents with the things going off if kept in the fire when ready position. Do we want that in the car?

All I know is I hope the Butler area doesn’t have a lot of road-ragers, or there may be a lot of armed road-ragers.

It Just Never Ends

Naked man jumps on cars in Avila Beach

A naked man was arrested Saturday on suspicion of trying to have sex with a taxi cab in Avila Beach, authorities said.

Cody Eugene Williams, 27, of El Dorado Hills, was found about 6:15 p.m. on First Street wearing only his birthday suit and simulating intercourse on the windshield of the cab, according to San Luis Obispo County Sheriff’s officials.

The cabbie was still inside the taxi, investigators said.

Williams, reportedly intoxicated, also jumped on at least three other cars and broke a windshield, sheriff’s officials said.

The Best Worst Song You’ll Hear All Day

Over onWFMU’s Beware of the Blog
there’s aposton country songs that were recorded to take advantage of how popular The Twist was in the 50’s and 60’s. All of them are ungodly horrible as you might expect, but one of them goes above and beyond the call of duty in so many ways it’s not even funny. Actually it is funny, but you know what I mean.

The tune in question was recorded by a fellow named Ray Kannon. I know nothing about this man, but if the rest of his catalogue is as fantastic as this that may have to change in a hurry. I say this for one reason, that reason being that anybody who takes the Muleskinner Blues, changes a few words and calls it theMuleskinner Twisthas to be a creative genius who’s mind is brimming with great ideas.

>Take 51 From 100 And You Get 50?

>This is another case where I have no words, and I can hear the words “We’re doomed!” resounding in my head. I can also hear the words of another man. I do some work for an adult literacy organization here in Guelph, and they had a little volunteer appreciation night. Someone who’s been with them from the beginning did a speech. One of his closing statements was “The only way we can have less kids slip through the cracks and need adult literacy programs is to fail the ones who need to fail instead of just handing them outa pass.” I hear those words because now a whole bunch of school districts across the States are rounding up grades below 50 to 50 so it’s harder to fail.

Nooo! It may be harder to fail, but it will be harder for the kid to get the message that they’re not getting it. Would you pay a worker for half a day even if they didn’t show up? No! With this new system, averages that should rightly be in the 50’s are falsely inflated to 65!

And what does that teach a kid about basic math? 0 = 50? No! Not after you get out into the real world, kid!

Incinerate Me Elmo

Maybe the whole reason we’ve had kids burning other kids in sheds and lighting each other with bug spray in Winnipeg is because of the presence of lighters with cartoon characters on them. I don’t think so, but it can’t be helping. Who in their right mind would design an Elmo or Cookie Monster lighter? What adult would walk around with that? And do we want kids thinking they’re ok to use because they have cute characters on them? Yikes! And in all the places for them to show up, why Winnipeg? Thank god a quick-thinking custoemer raised a stink, and the display was removed.

Distance Perception Study

I just thought I’d link to a cool study being done so that perhaps it would help get more participants. Martin Talbot is a PHD student in human computer interactions at the University of Waterloo. He’s trying to design a navigation system for blind people. But unlike the makers of the Swan and the Mygo, he wants to involve blind people in its development from the ground up. He cares about aesthetics and other practical concerns, and he wants to know what is important to us. I think that’s awesome, and I hope that he gets lots of diverse participants. At least he realizes that all blind people are different, and just because one says it rocks doesn’t mean the next one will agree. I’ve met this guy, and he is a breath of fresh air with a mind that is constantly working, trying to think of better ways to do things. Here is a short snippet about his study.

Hello, my name is Martin Talbot. I am asking you to volunteer in a study that is part of my PhD research in Human Computer Interaction at the University of Waterloo.

In this study, I examine an important theory in distance  perception. The theory has never been tested with sounds and persons who are blind before. This study tries to find out if the theory works for you and to learn if you like how the interaction “feels”.

As you probably know, the vast majority of technologies available for blind people are developed without involving blind participants in the design process. It is typical to have the products designed by sighted people and then tested on blind subjects. This study aims to involve blind persons in the design decisions right from the beginning. The 
study’s objective is the design of an effective, efficient, learnable, and memorable interactive model to enhance spatial orientation in blind persons.

If you agree to participate, you will be asked to fill out a short questionnaire about your vision condition. I will be happy to help you. The questionnaire is available online, so you can read the questions beforehand. All your answers will be anonymous.

All the details about the study, including the task, remuneration, risks, and more, are revealed in the official invitation letter available online at the following address:
http://www.cgl.uwaterloo.ca/~m2talbot/phd_exp/exp1a.htm.

The questionnaire’s questions are available online at the following address:
http://www.cgl.uwaterloo.ca/~m2talbot/phd_exp/questionnaire.htm.

This study was reviewed and received ethics clearance through the 
Office of Research Ethics, University of Waterloo.

Thanks for your interest in this research.

Martin Talbot

So there’s my small way of helping out. He’s looking for participants in the Waterloo region, but maybe in the future, he may turn up elsewhere. Who knows. I hope he gets a lot of useful input.

The Polite Perv

23 May, Fri, 17:30:42
Google:
pictures of randy orton penis please

What’s with people writing search queeries like they’re talking to the search engine? “Can I have some Randy Orton penis pictures, please? If it’s not too much trouble. Thank you ever so much!” It’s a computer. It doesn’t need to be talked to. You’re actually screwing up your search by throwing in pleasantries. But the image of someone politely searching for porn is too funny.

That’s Never Happened Before

If you’ve ever wondered what exactly makes a person a life-long premature ejaculator, now you know.

The definition was developed after lengthy critical evaluation of the evidence presented in more than 100 studies on the sexual problem published over the last 65 years. It was unanimously agreed by the experts that the definition of lifelong premature ejaculation should be a combination of three key factors:

— Ejaculation that always or nearly always occurs prior to or within about one minute of vaginal penetration.

— The inability to delay ejaculation on all or nearly all vaginal penetrations.

— Negative personal consequences such as distress, bother, frustration and/or the avoidance of sexual intimacy.

Two things to note:
1. It took scientists from 10 countries to figure this out.
2. The full results of the study will be published in something called the BJU International, which is a fine place for them when you think about it.