It’s Not Me, Eh, Sir!

Wow. This is just dumb. Police are looking for Anthony Johnson, a black dude. Somehow, they get his license number mixed up with that of Andrew Johnson, a white dude, and Andrew Johnson gets grabbed.

He’s released, but his license is suspended until he can prove that he isn’t Anthony Johnson! Hellooo! How hard is it for the police to just realize it’s an oops? In the meantime, the guy can’t drive anywhere, and has to be driven by his mom.

Here’s something else equally scary. The police department has an entire “it’s not me” unit to deal with mistaken identity cases, and this unit usually takes 3 weeks to fix a mistake. Christ! How many mistaken identity cases are we dealing with here?

I’m still amazed that they consider the burden of proof in the case of a mistaken identity to fall on the victim. In this particular mistaken identity, the one they want is black, the guy they got is white. Can’t they bend the rules a little and just clear the poor innocent guy?

Passed Out Where? In A What? With A Who?

  • A dude breaks into a garage,
  • then gets scared off to a neighbour’s garage,
  • where he steals a mountain bike, a lawn mower, a stuffed toy and a blanket,
  • returns to the first garage,
  • and is found two hours later
  • passed out in a boat
  • with his pants down
  • next to the now anatomically correct stolen stuffed dog?

What the? Some stuff is just too funny. I first read this, thought this wasn’t bloggable, but couldn’t stop laughing, showed it to Steve, and we both couldn’t stop laughing. Ok, ok, it’s going up here. I think this rivals our bongo drum Teddie-bear shrine-creating burglar of last November.

Suddenly, $35 Doesn’t Seem Like That Much

Just picture the complete suckery that a day like the one described in this story would entail. It definitely outsucks subjecting your taste-buds to a vegan brownie!

Man is mugged at gas station, man chases after mugger in his car, man gets out to chase him on foot leaving keys in ignition, completely unrelated men steal his car!

I definitely wouldn’t want to be the mugger he was pursuing, because if the man caught that guy…well…the rage of having his car stolen might take over and that mugger might receive all of it, and that would be a lot of rage.

He’s No Nerd?

My mom used to think I was weird because I figured out a system where I could calculate what day of the week a given date was in a certain year. um, er, I think I’ve been beaten. I would be arrogant to even say that if you could quantify our weird abilities, that that little trick of mine would be the 13th route of his number-crunching powers. And I’m not even that good at it anymore.

Roachbots?

I’m going to look like a conspiracy theorist, but this is just weird. A bunch of Washington scientists built robo-cockroaches and sent them out to see if they could infiltrate and influence real ones. They had to spray them with pheromones to fool the little crawling critters, but they did it. They say it’s to study the leaderless group behaviour of cockroaches. Is there a bigger picture here? I’d like to think that we’re harder to fool than a cockroach, but….you never know.

No Really, the Mice Were Part Of The Presentation.

Gees, with the amount of money people pay to have desserts at this eatery, you’d think the eatery could afford to call an exterminator. Nope, so it’s shut down. No one will be buying $25000-sundaes anymore. Jesus! $25000? Why? You’re going to eat it! I know it has eddible gold and the finest cocoa, but…you’re just going to eat it! I like to have something to show for it if I pay $25000 for something. People who can afford to have these things, can I borrow your wallets?