More Christmas Observations

Well, I survived the mall yesterday, and actually, I found that people weren’t the mindless zombies I was expecting. They were quite helpful, and in a matter of a couple of hours, I got almost everybody done. Woohoo! We may have ourselves a merry little Christmas after all, and not in the lonely sort of way.

I can’t believe the luck I was having yesterday. It’s not very often you can walk into a store, ask if they have something, and holy crap they have it, and at a good price too!

I saw something yesterday that cracked me up. Usually, when I walk into Sears and ask for help, I get helped, but it’s like the person isn’t happy about it. Once, I got led to an aisle full of what I wanted, and then the person was just going to leave me there. Um, if I can’t find the aisle, how am I going to pick out the thing I want from the aisle? But yesterday, when I asked for help to find the correct door outside the mall so I could get to a whole other plaza, the person was more than happy to help me. I can only think of two reasons why they were so eager. Either they were in the Christmas spirit, or they just love Trixie. I don’t know which it is, but I have noticed that people who are usually cranky cheer right up when they see theTrixter. Yep, she’s a charmer.

I had one more thought about Amazon that I didn’t mention yesterday. I’m convinced they’re creapy mind-readers. How else can I explain this? I was shipping something to someone, and I accidentally put my billing address in the shipping area. This address was different than the billing/shipping address they have on file. This is important. Realizing I screwed up, I went back, erased it, and put in where it was going. Then, when I went to put in my billing address, the address that I accidentally put in the shipping area materialized in the billing area. Not the address they had on file, but the address I just put in and then went and deleted. Creapy! I mean, it was what I wanted, but that’s just creapy!

That’s about it for now. Hope everybody’s getting their shopping done and not having to run around like mad things.

Ho Ho Holy Shit It’s Almost Christmas!

I just had a few Christmas thoughts, as I run around madly trying to get things done before I head to the land of dialup and choking computers. That’s still a few days away, but I have a lot to do!

Am I the only one who, as a kid, thought that song about “Have yourself a merry little Christmas” was a very lonely song? I pictured someone living alone, putting up decorations around their wee apartment, trying to feel festive even though they were all by themselves. Either that, or I thought it was a sarcastic, mean-hearted song. It was like people were saying “Yeah, you go ahead and have yourself a merry little Christmas, asshole. Don’t expect me to come knocking.” I completely expect to be going out on a limb on this one, but I had to ask.

Why is it that on every other occasion, someone’s birthday, Easter, Thanksgiving, we say “happy birthday,” “happy easter,” etc. but Christmas is always a merry Christmas? When someone says “happy Christmas,” we look at them as if they are 2 and shake our heads! Why is that? The English language is a jerk.

I am so behind schedule on my Christmas shopping it’s ridiculous. So, on Thursday, I went to a few websites where I can usually find gifts for people. Oy yoy yoy! Why is it that when you’re running behind schedule, nothing is easy to find? If I have to see the words “out of stock, will ship when available,” “will ship in four-six weeks,” “Sold out!” or similar, one more time, I will cry. Also, here’s a message for amazon.com. The inability to ship a product across the border is not “a slight problem.” It’s a fucking deal-breaker! How about just telling me I’m shit out of luck. don’t have my hopes raised and then smashed to the floor and shattered. Ok, that was a little overdramatic, but I don’t care.

On another note for the Amazon folk: Why in hell do you insist on showing me what others have also bought *after* I’m checking out? When you show me that while I’m browsing, that’s fine, but when I say nope, I’m done shopping, you can stop showing me what the Joneses have also bought. I’m not trying to keep up with them. I’m just trying to buy a CD!

Also, that listmania and user reviews stuff can disappear right about now. Ug what a pile of clutter. Amazon has a lot of stuff, but good lord their store is annoying. They have a cleaned up, accessible version, but sometimes they skimp you on descriptions there. Yeah, because an image-free site is the place to skimp on description. Yup, that makes loads of sense.

I think I’m done complaining now. The only thing I wish for is for this month to slow the hell down! It’s only two weeks until Christmas and I don’t have anything for my whole family! Yep, I suck.

I hope others are having better Christmas shopping luck than I am. I’m off to the mall today, probably to get clobbered by backpack-laiden shoppers on a single-minded quest for that perfect thingamabob for Uncle Joe. Hope I can find some thingamabobs too.

Tell Me He Did Not Just Say That!

This is just funny. I never knew the closed captions were so inaccurate. Well, during the time of the Southern California fires, they really blew their comic relief load.

I read about this in Snopes, but since the silly folk didn’t caption their picture, I couldn’t laugh along. Luckily, Randy Cassingham thought enough of us blinks to write it out so we could read it.

Damn! Does this kind of stuff happen on a regular basis?

This Little Piggy Went Whine Whine Whine Whine Whine All The Way Home

Ok, there’s a minor league team in Allentown, Pennsylvania. The team is called the Iorn Pigs. They have a mascot. It’s name is Pork Chop. But apparently, it can be Pork Chop no more because that’s some kind of slur against Hispanics. Or maybe, just maybe, it refers to a pig, and the team name is iron pigs, so that’s all it is!

Man, people are way too sensitive. Had anyone else heard of this slur? If so, I sure have been living under a rock because I’d never heard of it. Tell me I’m not alone.

Christmas Is Coming, And There’s Not Enough Goose Fat

Ok. This is just dumb. Goose fat has been sold for years with nobody really buying a whole ton of it. But since some girl, Nigella Lawson whoever she is, got on a talk show and said it was the best way to add flavour to your roast potato, everybody wants some, including big companies like McCains. Then, bird flu hit, killing off a third of the geese used for the fat, and people are wondering how they’ll ever survive without it. Someone went as far as saying that they don’t think there will be a “goose fat crisis.”

I should hope not, it’s goose fat! It’s flavouring, and it’s only in short supply because some supposedly important person said it was good. People can get duck fat, or, horror of horrors, find other ways of making their meal taste good. God, people, have you nothing real to get worked up about?

It Gives Me the Shakes Just To Think About It

So, Bulgaria needs another nuclear reactor, and they think that a fine location would be right in an earthquake zone, the same earthquake zone where 120 people died in, um, an earthquake. But that earthquake never happened. Nope, nope. Never happened.

What are they trying to do, kill more people. I think saying that “Bulgaria has a poor safety culture” is a huge understatement, similar to saying that earthquake never happened.

Who’s Your Daddy?

Ok, this just sucks, and illustrates the point that if you agree to anything with any kind of importance, write it down and make everybody sign!

Back in the 80’s, a physician who worked in the same hospital as a lesbian couple who wanted to have a baby decided to help them out by donating some sperm. Orally, they decided that he was not going to have any parental rights or anything, these two were going to be the parents. But you know how good a verbal contract is, right? It’s not worth the paper it’s written on.

Now that that kid is going to college, since the guy sent some cards and gifts and kept distant contact, the lesbian couple is trying to get court to say he is the daddy so he can send support payments, and they’re succeeding, despite the fact that the court says this guy can’t ask for a paternity test. What?

The way I understand the story, they say that since the guy kept some contact and sent gifts, then he assumed some parental responsibilities, so now he should pay. Let me get this straight. Any older person who sent any kid a gift is saying they’re a second dad or mom?

I think this guy’s biggest mistake was putting his name on the kid’s birth certificate. That’s the only place where the court sort of has a case. If he’s going to state in a legal document that he’s the dad…well…he’s saying he’s the dad. But everything else is bull. How can people who say the guy has no parental rights when the kid is a kid now say this guy’s a parent when it’s convenient? It’s one way, or the other.

Ug. I don’t know what else to say, except what a mess.

Time For A Newsflash! We’re Not That Dumb!

I was reading the CNIB Insight newsletter that I somehow got subscribed to. I won’t unsubscribe because that newsletter told me about the talks phone deal that got me to get a new cell phone. But today’s newsletter was full of gems. It’s Christmas, so CNIB was in full begging mode, so much so that it was almost sickening. I’ve seen their reaction to funds raised. It’s not the most grateful. So it bugs the hell out of me to watch them beg.

But this gem was what got me to post. I lost the exact wording, damn computer and my deleting the newsletter, so I’ll have to paraphrase. There was a section called ask the expert where the question was what can I buy my family member with vision loss? The expert’s answer rambled on about the various over-priced products you can buy from their store if you don’t know how to shop around. Then, the expert whipped out the following gem. It went something to the effect of… without a talking watch, your family member could unknowingly get up and make breakfast at 3 a.m. or get dressed at 4 a.m.

Give me a fucking break! Does “the expert” actually think blinks are that stupid? Sure, some of us may not be able to see that it’s dark or light outside, but anyone older than 4 knows that when you wake up may not necessarily be time to rise and shine! There are other ways to tell what time it is! Turn on the TV or a radio for Christ’s sake! If you have a computer, check the time on it! For those who have some vision, look around!

Sure, the watch is important. I won’t deny that. But that example just makes us all out to be dumber than a box of rocks.

Whshhhoooh . . . White Lightnin’

I can’t put my finger on what exactly it is that makes
this story
so great. It could be a drunken man trying to shoplift a box of “giant red hot pickled sausages” from a grocery store at 3 AM while at the same time deciding to pay for a couple boxes of beer. it could be that when he was caught and asked to leave, he used a Krispy Kreme truck as his getaway vehicle. It could be the police giving chase while doughnuts flew from the back of said truck. Or it could simply be that there is a man walking this earth named Warren G. Whitelightning. I’m not sure which it is, but in any case, I’m sold.