You Almost Wouldn’t Know It, But I Really Am Looking Forward To The Home Run Derby

Question. How can anybody take a home run derby seriously when itdoesn’t have Jose Bautista, Adam Dunn and Joey Votto in it?They’re only leading the major leagues in home runs. Forgive me for not being up on my derby history since I’m sure this has happened before, but it’s upsetting me today so I figured I’d mention it.

And speaking of things that annoy me about the home run derby, Chris Berman and hisBack, back, back, back, back… Gone!can feel free to fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…off! any time now. Christ I hate that! I don’t mind hearing it once or twice, like say in the context of a regular baseball game, but when the object of the contest is for every pitch to be back, back, back, back, back…gone!, it gets to be way too much in a very short amount of time. That little sound clip I linked to, refresh it 40 or 50 times and see if you’re not ready to kill people by the time you’re done. I’ve gotten to the point where I have to listen to the derby on the radio because otherwise I won’t be able to watch it. And worse than that, every time I see Berman anywhere it makes me want to throw things. Even on his football shows I’m afraid he’s going to start calling home runs. Please, get somebody else to call this thing, or if not that, doc him 10% of his pay every time he starts in on a back back. It’s the right thing to do.

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