- Brampton man accused of exposing himself in public sauna
Two boys under the age of 18 were present at the time
- Police called about a man masturbating in front of hospital
The male is described as approximately 45-55 years old, about 5’6” tall,
- Man found masturbating in toy section
Police attended to the store and located the male still in the toy section
Not only do we have the obvious comedy of the toy section here, but the guy’s name is Beattie.
- Guelph man accused of break and enter, exposing himself and more
Police responded to a break and enter report at a business on Delhi Street where the accused was located inside
- Indecent act reported in Scottsdale Drive area
The suspect is described as a white male, late 50-60s with a stocky build and gray hair
- Another public masturbation incident reported in Guelph
Woolwich Street the location for the latest one
- Naked man running in traffic arrested on Highway 7, OPP say
Man hid from officers in nearby backyard, got ticket after sobering up, Wellington County OPP say
- Man arrested for naked meditation in Guelph park
- Police say splash pad flashing suspect returned to the scene of the crime
A 35-year-old man was arrested
- Genitalia spotted at splash pad in latest indecent act
The suspect was wearing brown shoes. Possibly a v-neck
- Dog fails to sniff out Norm Jary Park masturbator
Maybe you’ve seen the suspect? He’s balding, wearing a white shirt and shorts
Update: He’s since been identified. Police say he has “special needs” and that they’re working with community agencies to figure out how to handle him.
- Police look for man seen masturbating near York Road bridge
Police searched the area but could not locate the man
- Police called to Royal City Park to investigate indecent act
It was reported that a man approached a woman in the park and began speaking in a sexual manner while touching himself
- Police called to Riverside Park area to investigate indecent act
Police were not able to locate the suspect
- Police seek suspect following indecent act
Guelph Police were called to Herb Markle Park for a report of a male masturbating on a bench
- Police say Guelph man exposed himself, yelled profanities
He had been physically escorted off hospital property by a police officer after allegedly refusing to leave
- Police make masturbation arrest, separate incident reported
It is alleged that a female was walking on the trail when a male was observed walking behind her, masturbating
- Police called about man masturbating in a mall
He was found near the Sleeman Centre and arrested
- Naked fountain swimmer accused of exposing himself
And other indecent acts
- Guelph Police investigating another report of public masturbation
A woman reported that man was masturbating as he walked toward her. And he had a bike
- Police seek information regarding man found masturbating in public
Police were called to Ptarmigan Drive, searched the area but could not locate the suspect
- Police look for suspect accused of exposing himself
And a another Guelph man has been charged with an indecent act
- Man in green apron seen masturbating at plaza
The incident took place in a plaza on Silvercreek Parkway
- Police investigate silent masturbation case
The incident occurred on a trail on the south west side of the Speed River at Edinburgh Road
- Guelph Police warn of third public masturbator in less than a week, this time on a bicycle
Based on descriptions, police don’t believe the three incidents were done by the same person
- Police look to identify public masturbator
He was seen in the area of Bristol Street and Surrey Street
- Break, enter and masturbation
Guelph Police were called to an address on Conroy Crescent for a report of a break and enter
These are all items from Guelph police news releases, and all were published this summer. I’m not 100 percent positive that this is a complete list, but lord love a duck, there are certainly plenty of them as it is.
Obviously there were incidents here and there, but I can’t recall there being this sort of volume in such a short time during the years we lived there. What is happening? Did somebody slash the event budget? Are you aiming to change your slogan from Royal City to Oil City?
Update: The local CBC appears to have stolen my gimmick and begun compiling a list of its own. Theirs stretches back to March, so has a couple of items mine doesn’t.
Also, Mayor Guthrie is unimpressed.
“Guelph is known for our beautiful parks and green spaces — so people, whether they’re visiting our city or live here, they need to be able to enjoy them without any fear of this activity going on,” said Guthrie.
“Police are very aware of these incidents and are taking this very seriously,” said Guthrie. “Over the last couple of years, we’ve had some increased investments in enforcement — and I’m going to continue to support that.”
Guthrie adds mental health issues and drugs are most likely playing a part in this as well.
“Those can’t be full out excuses for what is happening, and for the younger people performing any ‘acts’ as a ‘prank’ . . . it’s not a prank, it’s disgusting. My message for them? Find a different hobby, or get a job.”
“As I said, there is also a part of this which is mental health issues – so we do need to have some further support from the provincial government for all municipalities. We need to make sure people are aware there are drug issues involved in this too – but these aren’t way of ‘explaining out’ the situation, or using it as an excuse.”
He adds as much as we need to be aware of these issues, we also need to acknowledge that Guelph is a great place to live.
“It is going to take our whole community coming together to not be fearful of this issue. Go out, enjoy our parks — but at the same time, be vigilant and call the authorities if you see anything out of place.”
Update two: The naked meditator has spoken. He is 29-year-old Peter Holm, and he definitely sounds like he’s gonna fit right in with some of the locals I met during my Guelph days.
“I’m not a pervert,” said Holm.
“My intention was to be my true, authentic self. We are all born pure and beautiful,” Holm said in an interview with GuelphToday.
He believes nudity is a natural and healthy state, even in public.
He fully understands what he did was against the law, but feels the law is wrong. Basically, he was making a point.
“I want society to legally recognize my right to express my self and body as I choose …. am I really actually doing harm?
“I wanted to show that just because I chose to be naked doesn’t mean I’m a criminal, bad person or am going to hurt someone.”
He said he knew he was going to get in trouble when he decided to go for a walk that day and then sit under a tree nude while meditating.
Holm said if people are upset by his nudity, “that’s more on them.”
He was asked if a park with a children’s playground might have been the wrong place to make his point. Or if the recent public masturbation reports might have created a situation where people might be a little upset at the sight of a naked man in a public park.
He answered that he felt the time and place were appropriate given that he was trying to make a point.
“I think it was great timing, all these emotions were activated,” he said.
“I want it to be recognized, that I have a right to recognize my body as I choose.”
Holm said two families arrived at the park shortly after he began meditating in the nude.
Holm said he was yelled at, then two “furious” men came over and kicked and hit him while he was sitting on the ground. He has bruises on his body and scratches on his back but did not go to hospital.
“I knew this was going to happen and I’m ready to accept what was going to happen,” Holm said.
Asked if he planned to continue to meditate nude in city parks, Holm said that for now there might not be too much public nudity.
“It was an incident. An event. I’ll let that percolate.”
He also said that he planned to plead not guilty to the charge of causing a disturbance that was filed against him when he was arrested on August 12th. that court appearance is set for September 18th.
Police have also confirmed that Holm has filed an assault complaint against the fellas who felt it necessary to make a point of their own and say they’re looking into it.
This ended up being number ten on Guelph Today’s list of the top ten stories of the year. I’ll refrain from making any sort of rising up the charts joke. Hopefully I can also refrain from making a new list for 2019.