Came across this while helping Carin find some stuff for her post about the Waddleloo Canada goose map and thought it was funny.
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
There Really Ought To Be A Light There
If you’re going to spend your night out doing classic criminal things like driving with a license you don’t have while wearing borrowed pants and mysteriously meth-filled socks, for the love of god man, don’t stop at the imaginary stop sign! This goes double if the police are already in the area. Police located methamphetamine …
Wen You Hear A Whistle, Moooooooooooooove!
We don’t get good train stories very often anymore, but here’s one. It’s obviously not good for everyone, but you know. A pensioner was killed in a freak accident when he was struck by a flying cow launched 100ft into the air by an express train. Shivdayal Sharma, 82, was reportedly urinating next to a …
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If We’re Going To Ban Books…
I know where we should start. SMUTTY BOOKS HAVE NO PLACE IN OUR SCHOOLS. IT’S TIME TO BAN THE BIBLE Members of the school board, I’m here to voice my outrage about a disgusting book I found in my child’s backpack. The book contained graphic violence, prostitution, sodomy, and perhaps worst of all, a woke …
What? You Were A Children?
Toddler news: Mom has her own mom, and her name is Grandma I remember how mind blowing it was for me when I started figuring this stuff out, and ever since I’ve always had fun watching the other kids in my life put it together. This is pretty much exactly how it goes, other than …
You’re Sure It’s Closed?
Don’t get me wrong, you should never, ever do this. But counterpoint, what kind of bum ass, bush league supermarket closes the goddamn meat department while the rest of the store is still open? That’s some bullshit is what that is. Court documents show that officers responded to the scene and ordered Gay to get …
Thanks For Lunch, Anna Mae
I can’t remember exactly when I first went to Anna Mae’s, but I think it was far enough back in the 90s that my family hadn’t split up yet, so 95 or earlier. It was always such a treat to go. Still is, actually. I was in there last summer for lunch with my mom …
She’s Not Running Against You Anymore, Dude
I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I either understand or particularly care about local Mississauga politics. I just want you to listen to this dipshit. Premier Doug Ford says if former Liberal leader Bonnie Crombie tries to come back as Mississauga mayor he “will send an army down here” to help incumbent …
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The Fictional Brands Archive
This feels handy, so I’m going to stick it here in case I ever need to refer back to it. Maybe I’m studying for a trivia game. Or maybe I’m a weird old guy who doesn’t watch many popular shows and movies and needs a way to figure out what in hell the rest of …
The Ford Government Is Transparent, All Right
I’ve probably said this before, but I think it needs repeating. For a guy who says he doesn’t drink, Doug Ford sure governs like someone with a serious drinking problem. There are all of the bad decisions he’s loudly made and then regretfully walked back a few days later, but there’s also stuff like buck …
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