I Give Up. There’s No Title For Something Like This

“I wish to have sex with you.” “I must respectfully decline.” “Please? It would really make my night if in fact I could have sex with you.” “No thank you, good sir, I wish not these things.” “Oh come on my sweet. Let us make the wonderful music of love with one another.” “Again I …

VC’s Cyber Sunday Table For 2

It’s time now to bring back an old favourite. Who’s favourite I don’t know, but hey, it sounded good when I wrote it. WWE presents its annual Cyber Sunday pay-per-view on October 26th. I almost wrote anal, which given the lineup and some of the booking lately wouldn’t necessarily qualify that as a typo. Anyway, …

I’m gonna Get Me Some Mercury And throw It Up And Down The Road

What on earth would compel someone to toss mercury from hand to hand as if it were a ball? And why, why, whywhywhywhywhy, if you saw someone doing that, would you not a. mention this to him, and if that didn’t stop it, b. call someone like the cops? he isn’t just endangering himself here. …

It Lowers Pressure, blood Pressure

Who knew stinky farts could lower blood pressure? Well, apparently they can, and the especially bad news is that the researchers think a drug should be made to encourage the stinky kind of gas to be produced as a way of regulating blood pressure. I’d hate to be living with someone prescribed this drug. They …

I do…Not Like This Contest

Wow. These people are wondering why their contest is getting 0 entries. I’m not. Who are they? Their an abstinence education program. What’s their prize? A $10000-wedding giveaway. But, um, the contest has quite a few stipulations, or should I say deal-breakers, and I’m not even talking about the obvious one. I’m picturing your average …

Your Song Review Of The Day. No, Make That Song Review Of The Gay

Good news Matt, you’re notnearly as much of a homoas I said you were yesterday. At least that Pink song,while still god fucking awful, has it’s catchy side. I want you all, if you can stomach it, to take a listen toGotta Be Somebody.It’s the new Nickelback song. It also sucks a gargantuan, throbbing, veiny …