Two thoughts about this guy’s creepy idea, actually I should make it 3. 1. Eeeek! Seriously! How about no? 2. If it should be implanted in fugitives, how are ya gonna get it in there? If they’re running from justice, they’re not very well gonna stop and let ya shoot them with a microchip like …
Monthly Archives: May 2009
Stupid Tag, You’re It!
My head cannot process this level of stupidity. It makes the jaw drop and it makes you want to put your head in your hands for a long time. If you ever feel compelled to play a game of lighter fluid tag, don’t. ok? Just don’t. don’t give it a second thought, don’t think it …
Here Comes the bride, all Dressed In white, There goes The Groom In Handcuffs!
I’m glad this didn’t happen at the wedding we were at last weekend. Seriously guys, do you think it’s a good idea to try and prevent the officer from going into his trunk to get handcuffs? Do you really think it’s a swell plan to put yourself between officer and other dude getting arrested? Do …
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Where To?
I’m not sure why anyone would call a taxi and use it as a getaway car, but years of tracking the depths of human stupidity has taught me that some people do. So as a helpful tip for these master criminals, I offer the following suggestion. When leaving the scene of your heist, try your …
Oh I wish I Had A River, I Could Dog-Paddle Away In
You know a story’s going to be good when it has the headline of Des Moines Man Jumps Into River Again. Again? Yes, James Randolph apparently likes to jump into the river to get attention, so much so that nobody’s phased by it anymore, not even him. I guess randolph went to the police station …
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Pachelbel’s Rant
The other day, Barb told me about this rant about Pachelbel’s Cannon. You know the song, or if you don’t, you’ll know it now. the comedian’s name is Rob Paravonian, and it reminded me of the sketch Steve posted about back in January. The rant’s been following me around all weekend because I was at …
A chiliing Effect
Woohoo, food fight! Back a couple of weeks ago, we learned that a bowl of chili was dumped on a nagging wife. Now, a bowl of chili was used as a weapon to fend off burglars. the weirdest thing was the burglars didn’t want money or jewellery. they wanted the woman’s medication, and it wasn’t …
Philadelphia Freedom?
I know there are lots of good cops, but it’s cops like these that make people afraid of them. What kind of bullshit is “the blind test?” Well, it’s bullshit. There is no blind test. I hope that the charges against Nicola Cantisani are dropped if things happened the way he says they did. that’s …
People Are Strange, When You’re A Guide Dog Handler
Here’s a new one in the list of bizarro guide dog-related happenings I’ve had. I was standing at a busy corner. since I can’t see the light, I like to start my crossing at the beginning of the light cycle. So I like to hear the cars go on the street in front of me …
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Brain-Invading Song Fight!
Hmmm. Do we have a song fit to rival the dagga dagga doodoo song? I think we might. This happy little tune will chase me as I walk down the street, I’m sure of it. Will it chase you? Now, I’m sure you’re all wondering what the hell I was doing on the official Peeps …