Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Gonna Cruise On Home

In case you were wondering (god I hope you’re not), there are no good times to steal a police cruiser. There are only bad times and worse times, And one of the worst times of all is when the cruiser on which you have your eye is sitting in the parking lot of its police …

Even Geniuses Create Monsters…

I know this is old, but in a sense, it’s really old, so it doesn’t matter. A long time ago, I came across an article about talking dolls invented by Thomas Edison. These things, although technological marvels for the time, could give you nightmares. Observe. Ok ok, you can take your hands off your ears …

Swing And A Miss, His Luck Is Out

As a lad, I remember watching Danny Tartabull play baseball. He was pretty good at it as I recall, especially at the part where you hit the ball very well seemingly more often than you miss it. But as good as he was at that, he was apparently much less good at paying his child …

Don’t Park There, But Don’t Move, Either

Hopefully there was more to Jorge Jove’s motivations and subsequent actions than he didn’t appreciate those damn trucks parked near his house, because if that’s all it is he sure picked a poor way to make them leave. Jorge Jove didn’t like the AT&T work trucks in front of his Hialeah home Wednesday morning. So, …

Chop, Steele, Cook, Get Sued

Unless this is a case of me not doing my damn job, the geniuses who brought you Chop and Steele and Chef Keith really are being sued by Gray Television, essentially because they were made to look bad when one of their television stations didn’t do *its* damn job. Help them out if you can. …

I Can’t Blow, But I Sure Do Suck

Initially I just tweeted this story out and was prepared to leave it at that, but the longer I allow it to turn itself about in my brain the stronger the urge becomes to memorialize the stupidity at work here because sometimes, the simplest mistakes are also the dumbest mistakes. I do not have asthma. …