Paris Hilton has finished work on her second album. “I wrote all the songs myself,” Hilton said of the album, which is still in need of a label. As long as it has askull and crossboneson it, she can label it however she wants. Hereis some evidence to show that I’m not just being a …
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
Come On, Let’s Play A Game! The Winner Gets A Pint And A Toy
You are faced with the growing problem of drunks causing trouble in your town. Your solution is to station police outside of bars on Saturday nights to hand out those little brightly coloured bubble blowing pens like we all used to play with when we were kids. Based on this information, you are:A. Developmentally delayed.B. …
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10 Reasons To Be Antisocial
While I wouldn’t necessarily call myself antisocial, I’m definitely a person who treasures his alone time. Not everybody who knows me knows that, and even some of the ones who do don’t really seem to understand why or respect it. Maybe that’s why I find thispieceso interesting. I don’t agree with everything here and some …
Why Waste?
If you’re the type of person that’s intoinspirational semen based recipies,thenThe Testicles Cookbook – Cooking with Ballswill probably be right up your alley. The Testicles Cookbook – Cooking with Balls is a multimedia cookbook complete with how-to videos on cooking testicle dishes. Including Testicle Pizza, Testicle Goulash and White Wine Testicles, this is a short …
If There’s A Hell, I’m Likely Going There For This
I missed the jump,by a foot oooooooor two,oh if I’d only knew,now I’m a dead fellow. ANAHEIM, Calif. — A 27-year-old man walking home from a Coldplay concert plunged 30 feet to his death after he tried to leap across a gap in a bridge spanning a riverbed. Police say witnesses saw Guillermo Gomez, of …
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Everybody Loves A Happy Ending
Theredneckingest story in a long long time,the one about the Kentucky woman who’s trailer home was destroyed by a combination of an incompetent mover named Pancake and a stereotypical small town sheriff, has a happy ending. Donations from California billionaire Tim Blixseth and some other anonymous benefactors havepaid for a new single-wide mobile home for …
Have Fun Explaining To The Kids Why All Of Their Presents Have The Blood From Your Hands On Them
A while back when I mentionedhow dumb I think Black Friday is,things like this were exactly what I had in mind. A Wal-Mart worker was killed Friday when “out-of-control” shoppers desperate for bargains broke down the doors at a 5 a.m. sale. Other workers were trampled as they tried to rescue the man, and customers …
I Wish I Was Third Ear Deaf
A hearty congratulations goes out to the grade 7 kid with ADD who wrotethis songand sold it to Third Eye Blind. Please, somebody, explain to me what the hell is going on lyrically here. We’re going from KFC to breakfast to Iraq to punk bands to implants and terror alerts to…I’m not even sure anymore. …
>This…This Offends Me
>Here are the results of a poll on the Wrestling Observer/F4W website. Should Vladimir Kozlov stay in the Smackdown title picture Yes 28.1% No 71.9% This tells us one of four things:1. 28.1% of people voting did not see the Survivor Series.2. 28.1% of votes cast were submitted by the family Kozlov.3. 28.1% of those …
$40 Well Saved
I just finished watching the Survivor Series, a show that as I wrote over the weekend, Iwasn’t at all looking forward to and was not paying for under any circumstances.As the title of this post suggests, I made the right choice. It wasn’t as bad as I feared aside from the beyond terrible HHH vs. …