We haven’t posted many jokes lately, so here’s one. Credit or blame goes to Carin who saw it on Facebook and knew I would laugh. Q: What’s the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas? A: Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune, but chickpeas can only hummus one.
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
The Sex Offender Shuffle
A friend sent me this out of the blue last night and I laughed and laughed. Lyrics are here. In case anyone asks since apparently there’s been confusion about this, no, it’s not real. It’s a parody of the Chicago Bears “Super Bowl Shuffle” from 1985. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4otQ5C-ZZIc
Whataflasher
Not that any of you need a reason to refrain from exposing yourselves in a Whataburger drive thru, but if you’ve been on the fence about it, perhaps knowing that you won’t be fatally exposed to a great big truck while running away if you don’t might swing your vote. When the officer arrived, the …
How Are There Still Gangs After This
You know, if more of the homies from the hood had seen this back in 1992, the world would be a very different place today. In 1992, the El Paso police department fancied themselves rappers in this cautionary tale about gangbangers. The song’s called “Think Twice” (words & music by Greg Brickey) and it’s pretty …
Here Comes The Ba Da Ba Ba Bride
I have nothing much to say about these people who got married at a local McDonald’s. I’m really only posting this so I can make that title joke. But since I’m here, come on, CTV. The best you could come up with was “McWedding vows”? Step it up, guys. Anyway, congratulations to the happy McDoubles. …
Shut Up, Team Prime Minister
My god, the balls on this guy. Canadians pull together? We work as a team? That’s how we get big things done? By finding ways to work together? It’s what we always do? Whatever you say, Mr. only person in the whole damn country who is convinced that nobody is working with him so we …
What If Blink-182 Had Written Don’t Stop Believin’?
Had I not known what this was ahead of time, there’s a pretty solid chance it would have fooled me, at least for a while. The music and vocals are pretty much spot on. If you ever wondered how Mark and Tom would sound on the iconic melodies of Don’t Stop Believin, you’re in luck …
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Chinese People Are Still Throwing Coins Into Plane Engines For Luck. It’s Still A Bad Idea
If the airplane COVID doesn’t kill you, perhaps the paper-wrapped coins some putz chucked into the engine will. Yes, people are still doing that. It wasn’t Lucky Air this time, but they did fall victim to this phenomenon again in 2020, according to the story. In that case, a 28-year-old man was ordered to pay …
You Do Not Owe The Ontario Progressive Conservatives Any Money
From time to time, I get emails from shifty marketing and search optimization scumbags. Their letters are marked as coming from somewhere important sounding like domain services. They tell me that I owe a balance of a few hundred dollars and that if I don’t pay up, I will lose access to either my entire …
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How Many People Named Lacey Are Working There
This seems rather appropriate. A former finance boss at Brantano and Jones Bootmaker has been appointed as finance director at Shoe Zone. Terry Boot has joined the discount retailer, replacing Peter Foot who left last month after just seven months in the role.