No, not me. My birthday is in December. The birthday in question is Gill’s. It happened over the weekend and she’s got a somewhat interesting take on it. Basically, 2020 is a strange time, but things have been worse. I’ve had about as many birthdays as she has, and I can’t think of one that …
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
Camp COVID Is Not A Real Place
I’m certainly not going to sit here and tell you to believe everything the government tells you. That would be silly. Governments lie a lot, and for all kinds of reasons. What I will do, however, is encourage you to use your brains to figure out when it’s ok to take them at their word …
I Told You I’d Beat The Pulp Out Of You
I imagine this particular pumpkin was likely meant for carving, but I’m still counting its fate as a food feud because roasted pumpkin seeds are yummy and because pumpkin pie exists. Police say that when they responded to the couple’s Largo residence, the victim was “covered in pumpkin seeds and pulp.” Garisto, cops noted, was …
How Much Is That Baggie In The window
Nice throw, chief. Stephanie Dowdy, 33, was behind the wheel of a Honda Civic that was pulled over late last night after a cop spotted the vehicle traveling in the middle of a roadway in West Monroe (where Dowdy resides). While approaching from the Honda’s passenger side, a deputy was struck in the leg by …
Where’s My Remote Control
Would you call 911 if you lost your remote control? Someone did. Before we load up the shame cannon and rain scorn down upon this poor sap, I feel like we need the answer to a question that goes unanswered here. What was he stuck watching? If there’s an acceptable reason why the little buttons …
And The Award For New Dumbest Fraud That Apparently Actually Works Goes To…
I’m struggling to figure out how this scam works. Not because of its extreme level of sophistication or anything like that, but because try as I might, I can’t imagine a scenario in which even as a naive high school student I could manage to be this much of a maroon. City police fraud detectives …
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Experts, Everyone
I’m so glad we have experts. I really do mean that. They play a vital role in our understanding of many things. But sometimes I feel like we throw around the word far too often, to the point where anyone who spits out anything that’s half sensible is suddenly qualified to let us all in …
I Bring This Stuff Everywhere. You Can Never Be Too Careful With So Many Thieves Around
Rare is the day when I actively hope that a person is homeless, but today is that day. Because if this woman wasn’t, what was she thinki…never mind. I really ought to know better than this by now. A 23-year-old Guelph woman has been charged after police say she brought several bags of stolen property …
Excellent! It’s The Not Getting Away Car, Right On Schedule
Old story is old, but ones like it rarely fail to amuse me to some degree and it’s been a slow couple of days round these parts, so here we are. LaSalle police had an easy arrest Monday at Windsor Crossings Premium Outlets after an alleged shoplifter mistakenly got into their unmarked police vehicle. Officers responded …
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Tap
I woke up first thing this morning to a tap on my door. My plumber has a weird sense of humour.