Enough of this election stuff for now, le’ts offend some people! *In a local sports bar trivia quiz the other night, I lost by one point. The question was name two things commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans and African Americans is not the correct answer. *I’ve heard that Apple has scrapped their …
Category Archives: jokes
It’s Listen Up, Not Light Up
This story of a very drunk man trying to light his hearing aid thinking it was a cigarette reminds me of this old joke. Two elderly men were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Stanley noticed something funny about Joe’s ear. He said, “Joe did you know you’ve got a suppository in your left …
A Public Service Announcement From Your Pet Loving Friends At The Vomit Comet
Today is both National Puppy Day and Near Miss day. So if you can’t find your dog, check under a car.
The Importance Of Capitalization
Ann sent me this yesterday, and I chuckled. How true. Those of us who fall into the world of hi-tech should take note of the importance of correct grammar. I have noticed that many who text messages & email, have forgotten the “art” of capitalization. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off …
Is He Mad?
A Newfoundlander was walking past his neighbor one day with his dog in one hand and a shotgun in the other. “Where you going, boy,” the neighbor asked. “To shoot my dog,” the Newfy replied. “Is he mad,” asked the neighbor. “Well,” the Newfy begins, “he’s not too happy about it.”
New deodorant
I got a request to post more of the stuff that mom sends me. Luckily this landed in my inbox this morning, so you’re getting your wish. I got a new stick of deodorant today. The instructions said “Remove cap and push up bottom.” I can barely walk now, but whenever I fart the room …
There’s Nothing Quite Like Some Good, Motherly Advice
If you’re one of those who liked theletters from mom,I’m sure you’ll apreciate this handy and oh so useful tip I just received from her. If you ever get the sudden urge to run around naked, you should sniff windex first. It’ll keep you from streaking. There, don’t let anyone tell you that your mother …
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She Said He Heard
Thanks Martin for this one. This little, hmmm, shall we say glossary of terms to help men deal with women, sums up exactly what makes me ashamed to be a woman. But before we begin our lesson in female annoyances, I think we need a themesong, courtesy of the Bud Light Institute. God this song …
A Joke And A Song
The blog’s been quiet today and that’s not about to change. We’re heading out soon for dinner, drinks, a concert and probably more food and drinks when that’s over. But before we leave, I’ll leave you all with this, stolen from Amanda’s Twitter. *Q: Why are there so few Irish lawyers?A: The majority of them …
Letters From Mom
I’m not sure if there’s less going on where my mom works or if she’s just not paying attention to the stuff that is, but over the last couple of weeks she’s taken to emailing my brother and I the most ridiculously dumb jokes while she’s there. Nobody else gets them, just us. And you …