Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
Police in Minnesota are looking for a group of six or seven people in possession of several hundred dollars that doesn’t belong to them and possibly one brain between them that might, if we’re being extremely generous. When police arrived, the Eastside Grillz employee told police he had a valuable piece of evidence — he …
Continue reading “When We Catch Him, We’ll Grill Him. Hopefully He’ll Tell Us The Tooth”
This isn’t the worst getaway ever attempted, but it ought to be in the conversation for at least an honourable mention. Oh, and it probably deserves one more thing, too. According to the Kannapolis Police Department, officers responded to a report of shots fired into the Rent-A-Center on Cannon Boulevard around 2 a.m. Wednesday. When …
Not many details here, but this sort of effort is a clear sign that you’re either in the fuck it, I don’t care anymore and am about to retire from the life of crime phase or that maybe it’s an I never really wanted this job in the first place thing. Barrie police say a …
On some level, I’m pretty sure I understand what Adriana Salas was thinking. If I were driving around in a stolen truck, it sure would be nice to know whether or not the cops knew that I was driving around in a stolen truck. But there’s wanting to know and being dedicated to finding out, …
On the same morning within about 2 and a half hours of each other, two separate theft attempts in Abbotsford, B.C., were foiled by the weather. The snow, to be specific. The second and I think slightly less humourous of the two happened around 7:15 A.M. on the morning of February 7th (happy birthday, Carin!) …
Continue reading “Oh The Weather Outside Was Frightful, And To Thieves The Fates Were Spiteful”
Jeff Lytle may or may not have just learned a very important lesson. I say may or may not because when you start off from a position of such overt yet preventable dipshittery, the capacity for learning is by no means guaranteed. The arrest came after Lytle tried to reach out to a hitman named …
Continue reading “Sir, You’ve Got The Wrong Number. But Officer, You’ve Got The Wrong Idea”
Dear Nameless Criminal: Next time the police see you holding a popcorn maker box and playfully wish you a happy National Popcorn Day, try playing it cool. Chances are it would work out much better than the alternative. A man was spotted beside the street holding a popcorn maker box by officers on patrol. They …
Continue reading “Happy National Your Jumpy Ass Just Got Popped For Drugs Day”
I have to wonder if Dale Tice was even trying when he aledgedly decided fuck it, I’m gonna rob this here pawn shop. According to an incident report, Tice went into The Hock Shop on Cobb Parkway about 4:30 p.m. Monday to pawn a $5 ratchet. Just like with any pawn shop purchase, he gave …
Continue reading “He Shared His Crime With The Camera, Which The Police Like”
Criminals leave dumb things at crime scenes all the time, but I can’t remember the last time one of them forgot a set of teeth. Lake County Sheriff’s deputies were responding to reports of a suspicious person trying to break into homes when they encountered 31-year-old Lindsey Jean Stanley-McShane, according to an arrest affidavit. “She …
Continue reading “Her Bad Behaviour Would Come Back And Bite Her On The Ass If Only It Could”
Take it, Dave. Neal entered the Wells Fargo branch on First Avenue on May 13 and approached a teller window, according to his plea agreement. He first swiped his card through the card reader at the window. When the teller asked how he could be helped, Neal replied: “You’re being robbed. Don’t make a mistake.” …
Continue reading “Robbed A Bank And Left All Cool, Swiped My Card ‘Cause I’m A Fool”