Which Is It? Celebrity Baby Name Or Computer Virus

Here’s a fun little quiz to test your knowledge of celebrity children, computer viruses or in my case, neither. I only scored 45%, which says a lot about…something. I guess I shouldn’t feel too badly, though. The average is only 52%. CELEBRITY BABY NAME OR COMPUTER VIRUS?

The Shrimp Won’t Be The Only Ones In The Can

Given how off putting and just plain gross the idea of canned shrimp sounds, I kind of understand why Jayson Laughman became a sword wielding, knife throwing maniac when he was accused of swiping some. Michael Airhart, 52, and Laughman had a “heated verbal argument” before agreeing to go outside and “engage in a physical …

Be Careful. It’s A Dog Eat Ball World Out There

Man. You try to do a nice thing by taking in a stray dog and giving it a good home and the next thing you know, the damned thing is chewing off your testicles while you sleep. Around 7:45 a.m. Monday he was awakened by a “burning pain” in his mid-section, according to the initial …

He May Be A Creep, But At Least He Was Going To Clean Up After Himself

Antone Owens had to know that his life of crime wasn’t going to last forever. Not just because almost no one’s does, but because when you’re a not so discreet B and E artist with an apparent online porn problem, it’s just a matter of time. In a case from March, a female resident said she …

Most Unusual Names Of 2012, Or The Soon To Be Patient List For Psychiatrists Everywhere

We’ve just blown past the middle of March, but lists of things from 2012 are still relevant. This is partially because I say so and as one half of the people with the passwords I get to make decisions like that, and partially because as somebody recovering from a cold or something that laid complete …

This Brings New Meaning To The Term Carpetbagger

There are several things we’re often told when working with machinery. Wear goggles, don’t wear loose clothing and always turn it off immediately if something gets stuck are a few examples. One thing I’ve never heard, however, is wear a cup. But after hearing the story of Edgardo Toucet, that may change. Toucet was hired …

With A Name Like That, No Wonder Things Turned Into Such A Meth

On the 4100 block of 34th Street, at 3:43 p.m., Sacramento police responded to a welfare check call, and found two children – ages 3 and 4 – walking in the street unsupervised. After some time and presumably a little bit of good old fashioned police work, their mother was also located. She was arrested …

What People Named Their Kids In 2012, And Happy 10th Birthday, Saddam SARS

I need to stop getting so worked up about what people name their children. But…but…I just can’t do it. Here are a couple of particularly infuriating nuggets from BabyCenter’s top names of 2012 press release. iBabies The smart phone may just be the best parenting tool since diapers, and some moms and dads are paying …

Her Name Is Hashtag, But We Call Her # For Short

Doctor: Good news, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. You have just given birth to a happy, healthy 8-pound baby girl! Congratulations! Mom: She’s beautiful! Dad: Wow. she’s…so small! Mom: She has your eyes! Look at her! Dad: Awwwwww. She does! Mom: I can’t believe this is happening! We’re so lucky! Dad: I have my very own …

Hey Ladies, Wanna See My Rockwood?

It seems there’s another indecent exposure enthusiast on the loose in the Guelph area. NO, it’s not me, assholes! So since it would be nice if the police catch this creep and because there’s rarely a bad time for another wooded area joke, here’s the story. The incidents have taken place at the Rockwood Conservation …