Wow. Just imagine what would happen if we took everything a teacher said completely literally. “Put your nose in the corner.” “Eat the microphone.” “Hold it or pee in my lunchbox!” That’s exactly what the student did. He took her lunchbox behind a book-case, drained his lizard, and gave it back to the teacher. Just …
Category Archives: news
Accuracy? What’s That?
If I’m a reporter, I would think the most important thing to do is to make sure I’m talking to the person I think I am. Ya know, if I’m supposed to be interviewing Hillary Rodham Clinton, I don’t accidentally interview Hillary Wicai Viers, communications director for another senator. But that’s exactly what John Goodall, …
What? Do We Not Have Enough Real Sexual Assaults To Deal With?
Ok, first we have seventeen-year-old boys going to jail for consentual sex with 16-year-old girls, and now we have 15-year-old boys going to jail for pantsing a girl. Isn’t this a little over the top? Can we not find a middle ground?
Hey! Policeman! Leave Those Kids Alone!
Ok, let’s put another reason on the British kid misery pile. Now, Gary Pugh of Scotland Yard thinks it would be a good idea to get the DNA of early-offending little brats so we can lock ’em up before they commit serious crimes. That’s just too creepy. And he thinks he can figure out which …
You Still Have To Wait, Now You Just Wait Outside
Here’s another reason you should not go to Britain. If you get sick enough to warrant a trip to the ER by ambulance, there is no priority system that says patience arriving via ambulance jump the queue, and if hospital staff don’t believe they can see you within four hours, as required by law, you …
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American Airlines: Something Special In The Hair
Yuck! Imagine getting settled in your seat on a plane, going to sleep and waking up to find that the man sitting next to you is masturbating and has jacked in your hair! Ug! Fucking disgusting! I don’t know if I’d sue American Airlines, the airline with which she was flying, unless I knew for …
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Maybe She Didn’t Want Her Boyfriend To Squeeze The Charmin
Well, we have an update about that woman who was found stuck to her john. I guess she wasn’t sitting on the throne for the whole two years, but she was in the bathroom that long. She had been sitting on the toilet for a month. Now, the burning question of how her boyfriend managed …
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Excuse Me. Can You Point Me In The Direction Of The Reaper?
This story about an assisted suicide facility in Switzerland moving in next to a brothel is a little quirky, but this statement jumped out at me. The only problem ever is that Dignitas (the assisted suicide centre) doesn’t advertise its presence – and a lot of people get lost and have to ask for directions. …
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Another Name For The Close Enough Files
So there’s a story about a guy who has a child porn stash, had a foul-smelling apartment, gets kicked out and then busted for the child porn when his roomies clean his foul-smelling den. So what. His name was Eric Hardin. Just change one letter, and I’m sure you’ll laugh with me.
If This Is Any indication, We’ll Need A Sex-offenders Against Animals Registry Soon.
Here are two cases of men who are lucky they don’t live in Scotland, because if they did, they’d be on the sex-offenders registry so fast, and they’d sure deserve it more than Ye old bike-humper. There’s Joshua Coman of Kansas who likes canine ass, and was very fortunate that his victim, a rottweiler, didn’t …