I know in the grand scheme of things Kinder Surprise eggs are pretty small, but you know what’s even smaller? Your exit hatch. So the fact that now current Ottawa-Carleton Detention Centre resident Damian O’Reilly seems to have set an unofficial record by managing to fit eight of them into his is, in its own …
Category Archives: news
My Love For This Team Is A Burning Love. To The Second And Third Degree, To Be Specific
There’s nothing wrong with making a friendly wager on a sporting event. I’ve been known to bet a few bucks or a dinner here and there. And if fire didn’t scare the living shit out of me and if the things weren’t so god damned expensive, I could maaaaaaaaaaybe see myself making a loser burns …
Extra! Extra! Read All About It…In The Papers We Don’t Pay People Fairly For Delivering
I know times are hard in the newspaper business, but have things really gotten so bad that a company the size of Metroland has to resort to ripping off a couple of 10-year-olds? Looking to make some money over their summer holiday, the boys took on a paper route with the Beaches Mirror, delivering newspapers …
More Like Sputtering To A Sad Halt Like A Couple Of Losers ON Empty
Before you run from the police, you should really think long and hard about the potential ramifications of that decision. What if you don’t get away? Is whatever this is worth going to jail over? What if you cause an accident? Is possibly killing yourself or someone else a risk you’re truly willing to take? …
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Lawyer Lawyer Pants On Fire
Something tells me Stephen Gutierrez is going to have a hard time living this one down. A Miami defense lawyer’s pants burst into flames Wednesday afternoon as he began his closing arguments in front of a jury — in an arson case. Stephen Gutierrez, who was arguing that his client’s car spontaneously combusted and was …
Get On My Lawn!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuHM0qC7ix0 Generally speaking, you probably shouldn’t take the law into your own hands. But sometimes it’s pretty funny when someone does. Police in La Puente, California, got a call from someone claiming he was being followed. When they arrived, what they found was a man jumping from rooftop to rooftop for some reason and refusing …
I Was Just Trying A Different Door Like You Said
I likely would have posted this regardless because it’s the sort of thing we tend to enjoy, but it’s nearer and dearer to my heart than usual because I used to live in Woodstock and still have some family there. Guess what, guys. You’re officially smarter than at least one neighbour. Congratulations. The 41-year-old man, …
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They Plan To Throw The Book At Him
Out of pocket nearly $60,000 and facing some trouble with the law after his spring cleaning operation touched off a 700 acre wildfire is Brian Leon Sparks. A 55-year-old Bryceville man cited by the state for illegally burning books and starting a wildfire that ended up scorching 705 acres in late March now has a …
When He Said “Stop! Police!”, Was He Talking To The Suspect Or His Backup?
I’m not positive, but I feel like this might be appropriate. No matter what you might think of the police, one thing I’m pretty sure we can all agree on is that they have a very dangerous job. Every day, they face the prospect of verbal abuse, physical violence, being shot, tased, bitten by a …
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The Story Of One Of Journalism’s Worst Days Ever
I don’t mean to alarm any of you, but believe it or not, the media makes mistakes. In spite of the high standards they’re justifiably held to, reporters are, at the end of the day, just as human as the rest of us. Sometimes their mistakes are pretty funny and when the eventual correction is …
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