Wow! Would you believe that, instead of making a date-rape drug, this bunch of imbeciles made industrial strength drain cleaner, some of them even managing to down four glasses of it, but they still didn’t figure out that something was amiss with their chemical creation until they had to call an ambulance because our star …
Category Archives: that was dumb
Stupidhead the Sequel!
I guess I spoke too soon. I have now discovered that my new neighbour is a stupidhead of a different kind. What will I call her? Ditz-o-matic? Let’s run down 15 minutes with her. I’m in my house talking on the phone. I hear, slam. Jingle. slam slam jingle! “What the hell!” I open my …
Fruit Is Like Oxygen
Ok, thanks to me and my stupid titles, I can’t get that old love Is Like Oxygen song out of my head now. I hope somebody knows which song I’m talking about so I won’t be alone. It’s one of those songs that once you hear it, or even think about it, it’s in your …
Last Call For Last Call?
Here’s another story update for you. A few weeks ago I wrote about the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission’s brilliant plan to arrest people in bars because they’re drunk. Well, after almost 2000 arrests and seemingly a lot more public outcry, the program, which they ended up naming Operation Last Call, has been called off, hopefully …
Gun Safety Update
Remember thegun safety videothat I posted a link to a couple of months ago? Well, the star of that clip, Drug Enforcement Administration officer Lee Paige, is nowsuing his employer for letting the video get out. Here are the important parts of the story, just in case the link doesn’t stay active for very long, …
Nice Going, Captain Hook
Bad idea: Using artillery shells as paperweights.Worse idea:Using those paperweights to crush bugs. There’s nothing I could ever hope to add to this other than I’m glad this guy was never a teacher of mine, and how great would it be if the bug ended up surviving?
The Terrorists Have Won
High School officials in Fort Myers, Florida haveturned down an invitation from the organizers of London’s 2007 New Year’s Day parade,because they feel that the members of their school band would be “safer in America” than they would be in England due to a greater likelihood of being victims of a terrorist attack there. “What …
Arresting People For No Good Reason, What’s More American Than That?
The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission has announced that the State has begunsending undercover police officers into bars to arrest drunk people for being drunk. According to commission spokesperson Carolyn Beck, the first of the sting operations, which are designed to prevent drunken mishaps before they happen, took place recently in a suburb of Dallas and …
Continue reading “Arresting People For No Good Reason, What’s More American Than That?”
Who Knew?
Scientists: masturbation not as good as sex More details on this developing story will be published in the next issue of Duh Magazine.
I’m A Professional
Given all of the talk in the media recently about the rising number of gun-related incidents in Toronto and elsewhere, I thought it was only proper that we here at the Vomit Comet use our vast world-wide influence [hahaha] to spread the message that guns, even though they may seem to some to be fun …