I need the help of somebody with a long memory for these sorts of things (Carin, I may be looking squarely in your direction). I seem to recall that several years ago, either police or wildlife type people issued a warning to citizens of a state that may or may not have been Florida asking …
Category Archives: that was dumb
Somebody Must Have Passed Him A Counterfeit Clue, Because Clearly He Doesn’t Have A Real One
Generally, the way you’d go about profiting from your counterfeit money operation would be passing the product at stores in exchange for items of actual value, or maybe selling it for a fee hopefully consisting of legitimate currency to people you have a pretty good sense you can trust. But that’s if you’re a logical, …
Shhhhh. I’m Playing A Game Of Hide And Tell Everybody With The Cops Right Now
Dumbasses get busted by their own social media stupidity all the time, but this ass seems especially dumb. Christopher Wallace, wanted by the Somerset County Sheriff’s Office in connection with a Pierce Pond Township burglary, made two mistakes Sunday night. The first one was posting a message on Snapchat saying he was back in his …
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Thanks To A Carpool, He’s In Deep
There are a couple of lessons here. 1. If you’re doing something you’d rather the police not know about, don’t open yourself up to any more scrutiny than necessary. Even something as simple as driving in a carpool lane when your passengers aren’t easy to see from the outside can be enough to undo your …
Locked In The Front Of A Car
I understand that older folks and newfangled technology don’t always mix well, but come on now. Mollieanne (65) and Brian Smith (68) are still coming to terms with the early November incident when confusion about operating their Mazda 3 hatchback led them to believe there was no way to get out. The pair were stuck …
Time For A Nice Cold Beer…Bottle
There’s doing stupid things when you’re drunk, and then there’s doing stuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid things when you’re druuuuuuuuuuuunk! A MAN got so drunk at a family gathering he ate a glass beer bottle, NT police say. Superintendent Louise Jorgensen said police and St John paramedics were called to a Wagaman home just after 9pm on Wednesday. The …
Hurry! We Need To Get This TV Home So We Can See Us On The News!
Somehow, you have just managed to walk out of a Walmart undetected while carrying a 58 inch television which you neglected to pay for. Well done. But you have a problem. 58 inch televisions are rather large. Too large to easily fit into your vehicle, it turns out. And wouldn’t you know it, as you …
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Wizzing On The Electric Fence Doesn’t Sound So Bad Now
I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but if you’re going to rob a store of one of its fish tanks or quite literally anything else, stop for a leak *before* the heist. This is always true, but especially because the wasps you’re hosing down give zero fucks that the cops are on your trail. …
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Put All The Money In John’s Bag!
Part way through the story of John David Martinez’s horribly bungled bank robbery, I started feeling bad for him and thinking maybe I’d have a heart and not post it. I mean the poor guy is nearly 70 years old and he and his wife had been living in a Ramada after being evicted from …
He Won’t Be Winning Burglar Of The Month
I understand being proud of having been named salesperson of the month down at the Mazda dealership. It feels good to be recognized for working hard at something and ultimately succeeding. Were it me, I might even carry around whatever sort of trophy they gave me for a little while so I could show it …