The Return of the Gutless Wonder

I don’t know if anyone remembers my post about a girl aledging a police officer sexually assaulted her, not filing a formal complaint, bitching when the Special Investigations Unit didn’t come to her doorstep to take her statement and then practically convicting the guy she accused of assaulting her by throwing crap all over the net aboutit, including his name.

Well, the Special Investigations Unit did eventually end up coming to her doorstep and taking her statement, they did a four-month investigation, and they came to the same conclusion that I think everyone did that heard this twisted tale. They actually worded their conclusion quite strongly. They said the alligations were false. Not unsubstantiated, but false. As in “nope, absolutely didn’t happen. Move along, nothin’ to see here.”

You can tell the police chief is tired of this whole thing. I mean, she has not made her side look credible at all. People representing her have been seen downtown burning effigies of this police officer. A fine way to make your side look logical, calm, and rational. She has made veiled threats that if the investigation doesn’t go well, there may be retaliation. Now it’s over, and I’ll admit what he said in the paper sounded a little over the top. He said something to the effect of, “the officer has suffered the most anguish in this whole thing.” If I could see inside the girl’s head and knew that she was lying, then I’d agree with him. But if there was a chance that she still believed it happened, even though it never did, but it was the way she felt, that’s kind of a presumptuous statement to make.

She doesn’t know when a game is over, though. She said to a reporter in an email that it just proves that you can do whatever you want if you have a badge in this society. She says she’s going to pursue other avenues. It would have been nice if she’d actually taken the first step instead of the police taking it for her. She’d better watch out, because she may be in for a few surprise next steps on the police’s part. How long do you think it’ll be before she’s the defendent in a libel suit?

Boobytrapped! Update

I realize that tomorrow, the original post about this will drift off the main page. So, here’s a link to it again.

I got another email about it. They said they’d seriously look into why OCR software packages, packages that turn the printed word into text, thus into something the computer can read, demand the password and tell me what others can do if they want to read the same things. They even asked me for what package I use. Plus, they said they’d do a better job of describing their images with instructions like, “do like this.” on them. So, there’s hope. Hopefully that wasn’t webmaster speak for, “We’re doing nothing of the sort to change the site, but we’ll tell you we’re working on it so you’ll shut up and go away.” I don’t think so, though.

Marriage Problems

So John and Mary are having problems in their marriage. She hangs, he drinks and they fight all the time. It never ends.
Finally, after weeks of nagging him to no end about it, Mary finally convinces John to go to a marriage counseller.
On the day of the appointment, they’re fighting is worse than usual. They argue all the way to the office, the entire time they’re sitting in the waiting room and even as they’re walking in the door to the office.
The woman behind the desk says “What seems to be the problem? How can I help?”
The couple immediately starts arguing again, both trying to get out what they think is the problem. No one can hear anyone else and things are going nowhere. Finally the Doctor stops them.
“Alright. I can see this will take some work. So everytime things start to get out of hand – I want you both to come up with something you have in common – that should help you at least remember why you fell in love.”
There’s a long silence in the room as they stare in to each others eyes. Neither says a word. It’s almost like they can’t come up with anything that they could possibly have in common.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, John slams his fist down on the desk, stands up, stares right at Mary, then the Doctor and yells “Neither of us like to suck dick!”

Thought Shake, Extra Thick

It’s random thoughts time again! Yep, here’s where I ramble about a bunch of crap that probably interests no one. The only difference is this one’s full of a bunch of disconnected thoughts. Since most of these random thoughts posts have titles about food, and I figured thoughts of soup or anything else would probably make people sweat way too much on a hot day like this, and salad was already taken, it’s a thought shake. So I wonder if you can suck it through a straw.

Speaking of shakes, has anyone else noticed that the Macdonalds chocolate milkshakes are way, way, way too sweet? You suck back on them and it feels like the sugar is going straight to your brain and your pancreas is shrieking in protest. Once, I thought I tasted chocolate powder in them. Like holy crap. They were fine before. Did someone actually demand more chocolate? What is wrong with people, if they did? Or maybe someone at this one macdonalds needs to go back to shake machine school.

I wonder if the construction crew in this part of the city should look into whether they’re dyslexic. I’m certainly thinking they should, after I saw the masterpiece of a bus shelter near this place. IT’s backwards! If you stand in it, you won’t be seen by the bus, and the back wall faces where the front usually faces on these things. When the bus comes, you have to run out and around it. It’s so bad that people tell us not to stand in it, that it’s better to stand behind it. Nice job…or…boj.

When you’re getting a TB test as a requirement for a form, and you come back to have it read, the last thing you need to hear from the nurse looking at your arm is….oh my goodness! So many thoughts race through your head. “Do I have TB? How did I get it? Shouldn’t I be coughing or something?” Then she says, “you’re clear!” This causes another thought cascade. “Phew! Why was she surprised? Was she hoping I’d have TB? Or, was she fucking with my head just for fun? Does she like saying to people who get lumps looked at, “You’d better sit down. You’re fine.” What is wrong with this deranged individual?” Or, am I the weird one? Either way, that was strange.

The CD buying spree continues. I now own the two newest albums by the Frantics, and all I can say is, these guys are weird. Some pretty funny stuff swirling around in their heads. I love how some people can take ordinary stuff and make it hillarious.

The other day, I did a couple speeches for my sister’s teachers’ college class about blindness and education. When she asked me to do it, I was like gee what do I talk about? Well, apparently, there’s over 40 minutes worth of stuff to talk about. But the weirdest thing was having the people I spoke to say I was inspirational at the end. Me? Inspirational? Um…ok? I just talked about what happened. I never really thought of myself as inspirational. I even apparently made one girl cry because I was so moving. Allrighty then. I’ll try and digest that. I guess they liked it then.

Isn’t it weird when you see someone say things that are totally the opposite of what they used to stand for? You can only think they’re blinded by love and that’s why they say them. Take someone who was always one that would tell people to do their own damn laundry unless there was a physical reason why they couldn’t, like they couldn’t reach the machines or something, and couldn’t understand why guys would hire maids to iron their shirts. Now that they’re with this guy who does exactly that, oh how the tune has changed. In fact, the maid does his laundry. When I heard about it, I started laughing and was completely amazed. She stopped walking and said, “Carin, he doesn’t have time to iron his shirts.” He doesn’t? That night, he was going to play tennis and get a massage. I’m sure he could have worked the ironing in there. This guy has lots of money and they’re going on trips, seemingly on a whim. I remember when she was sensible and practical. I hope she comes out of this fog. I’d like her back to normal. That would be nice.

And then there are people that are completely unable to see what other people need because they’re too wrapped up in their own needs. One friend of mine had an older family member who had to have part of her esophagus ripped out because it had a tumour. Think about that. So she has to be fed through a tube because she can’t actually eat stuff. Since this friend’s family is spread all over the place, they sent the friend over to help her do stuff she can’t do herself because of what’s happened. So my friend has to crush up her meds and put them in a syringe, attach new bags of whatever you put into feeding tubes to the machine that shoots it in there, turn the pump on and off that supplies the older lady’s tube with stuff, and she has to do this a few times a day. She doesn’t have to bathe her, she doesn’t have to do anything highly medical, yet this was enough to make her cry because it was so much work! One day, she said she had a migraine headache, so she said she crossly said to the old lady, “I’m going to bed, I’ll just get up to do the bare minimum.” Is anyone else as astounded as I am? This poor old lady doesn’t want to be like this. she doesn’t want to be dependent on family to feed her. And then she gets that kind of treatment! My friend even said she made jokes to the old lady about “What are you gonna do when I’m gone?” I thought that since my friend gets sick a lot, she’d have a little more empathy for her relative. I guess not.

*slurp slurp gurgle* That’s the end? Yep, it is. Maybe I’ll have more thoughts later. Hope you enjoyed this one, and it was yummy yummy tasty.

That Canadian Guy was Funny!

A while ago, Steve and I got tickets to go see Glen Foster, with the opening band the Black Roses. Well, the show was last night, and it was awesome. If you have a chance to see either of these two, you should go see them.

Glen Foster was funny, but I knew he was going to be funny. I guess what I wasn’t expecting was exactly *how* funny he was going to be. When you’ve heard a couple CD’s and a bunch of TV specials, to see him live is a whole different level of funny. Everybody seemed to be having a pretty good time, which was good since I wondered how many of the old ladies near us just came because they saw an ad for it in the paper.

But the big surprise was how funny the Black Roses were. They seemed like they’d be fun from the little bit of them we saw on the CBC and from their website, but god their delivery was hillarious. Imagine two sweet-sounding girls getting up to sing and play the guitar. They have voices that sound like they should be singing songs about the world’s problems and how we should all love each other. Then they sing, and make you laugh your ass off about fag hags, cults dying together, dead dream babies, polygamy, screwing, and whatever else is swirling around in their dirty minds. Somewhere, some poor old nun or choir teacher is crying because she taught these girls music and now they’re using their beautiful voices to sing such horrible words.

I got their CD, “Look it up Yourself”, and parts of it are just…odd. there’s no other word for it. Odd. They even signed the CD, which was cool. The freakiest part was while they were signing it. They were talking to me and they sounded all sweet, the way they do during their act, just before whipping out a really sarcastic line or a joke. So I was waiting for them to make some kind of crack at me. They didn’t, of course, but it was weird. We added them to our links section under people who make us laugh, so if you want, you can…go look them up yourselves.

So, it was lots of fun. If you can, go see Glen Foster. And check out the Black Roses too.

Well… It Ain’t A Door – But It’s Cool

So today we made another landmark purchase. It won’t be as cool as the door we’ve all been talking about agani recently – but it’s pretty sweet so it warranted a post.

Our family owns a cottage in Harcourt Park. Harcourt Park is in cottage country and is a privately owned huge piece of property with a bunch of lakes and roads and stuff. It’s massive. So you buy the cottages from the Harcourt Group instead of from other people and basically you then own shares in the park, which is private property owned by everyone who owns a cottage there. This means while standard laws do apply – certain ones do not. Since our roads are technically not “public roads” and have to be consideredm ore like driveways through the woods that the land is on… you’re allowed different vehacles on them than you would be allowed to have on a public road or highway. Vehacles like…. golf carts….

That’s right, rather than take your car from cottage to cottage when you visit, most people use their boat or a 4 wheeler or something. Until we moved in a few years ago, and then my aunt and uncle, and then our family’s best friends, and then a guy my Dad works with who hangs out with us. We started taking over. And while we did bring 4 wheelers and boats, we also brought Golf Carts. They were the same standard small, weak battery powered ones you’d see on any golf course and we used them because we could carry more people on them than on the 4 wheelers. That was until today.

We just bought the mother of all golf carts. It’s an extremely hot lookin’ red which is a great start. It has huge mud tires on it to get better traction on the dirt and gravel roads and to keep it up out of the puddles that can accumulate. Also assisting to that end? A bad-ass lift-kit keeps this thing sittin’ high and lookin’ hot. And rankly lookin’ more like a mini-truck than a peaceful golf cart.

As I said, most golf carts on a run on an electric battery powered rechargeable engine which is ok except it’s not that powerful and the battery dies quickly. We have one relative who lives 5 km’s on the other side of the park. This thing would get you there, albeit slowly thanks to lack of power in the little engine and all the hills that it didn’t have the balls to speed up, and would then require charging at the other end before you could come home which took about 4 beers… err… I mean an hour to do. Not this baby. This thing has a gas powered 30HP engine! This bitch will do over 50kph (which is a nice step up from the battery powered one which would hit top speed of about 11kph if you were lucky enough to be going downhill with only one person on it).

It has 6 drink holders (and only 4 seats which is funny but appropriate with our family) which is good since you pretty much have to be loaded to be willing to be seen driving around in a sooped up golf cart. The crowning jewel. A stereo system. Some in the past have had radios but this has a full out CD player and speakers in it. All we’re missing is the hydrolics and the rims and we’ve got Snoop’s golf cart.

Just thought I’d keep you kids up to date on the crap we’re buying these days.