Vomit Comet

First day with the big beast, and it’s a good one, even though I’ve been awake since 4.

About the big beast. He’s the tallest dog I’ve ever had. He’s 25 inches tall. He stood beside me and I couldn’t believe how tall he is. I worry he won’t fit on Tansy’s bed or in her crate. But he’s such a good heeler. Just for fun, I decided to put his food down and then heel him from his crate to tiedown, just to see how hard he would yank if he knew there was food over there. He was excited, but totally manageable. He’s already not drinking as fiendish an amount of water as he started doing. Did I mention that last night when he went out for final relieving, he peed a river? Maybe that was less than awesome so he didn’t think he needed that much water.

They tell me that he pees like a girl. No wonder I can’t hear him going.

I’m writing this at the end so I hope I’ve got this all down. We had lectures about guidework commands like forward, left, right and stuff. Then we headed to Gresham to do some Juno work on those commands. I was feeling pretty good about that. I had to make some small tweaks but nothing super massive. But I was having more trouble learning my way around the lounge. I don’t remember the San Rafael lounge being so hard for me to learn.

Another thing I’m finding hard is knowing how much to kibble for good heeling anymore. If he’s heeling well, you don’t have to give him kibble a bunch, but if he’s slipping, then you have to reward him more to get him convinced that heeling nicely is worth it. And then I keep tightening up on the leash too much. Ack this beginner stuff is hard. I’m finding that I don’t have room for stuff like new routes and stuff.

He’s a bit of a jack in the box. He mostly settles under the table, but sometimes he rolls around under my feet. It’s weird. He also scratches and licks a lot. HIS fur is covered in random crusty spots. I hope that’s nothing.

So we did a bunch of Juno where I practiced turns with a plastic dog on wheels that was about my dog’s size. So we think we’ve got the right harness handle size. I also did some Juno walks where Juno was bad and I had to do various kinds of management. Then after lunch of a grilled zucchini sandwich and a cupcake, when I think the pooch might have eaten a crumb, arg, we went back to Gresham and finally I went on a walk with the pupster.

As walks go, it wasn’t bad. We had a few miscommunications and some distractions but it was pretty good. I kept not gripping the harness hard enough and my hand kept sliding to the right side of the harness. I can hear my Tansy supervisor saying “Hand in the middle.” Oops. This first walk felt more exhausting than I remember, even though I fell on Trixie’s first walk. But I think things are going well, even if the instructors have to remind me over and over and over again.

After that, we learned about playing tug of war and I got those invincible chains which is a set of rings that they can tug on. He kept going back and forth between violently shaking his head and just licking the toy. I can’t figure out what makes him happy. When he does play, he likes to pop his big brick-like head up and bean me in the chin. Hopefully I can figure out how to get bonked less.

When they said to bring a backpack, they weren’t kidding. Often times, they’ll give us more supplies at the lounge. I just figured it was for carrying stuff like rain gear et al so I didn’t carry it today. That was a terrible idea. I was carrying my cane, my braille display, plus I got the new harness and a tug toy. Ok ok ok changing my plans.

We’ve had awesome weather. I say it’s because I went and bought rain pants. If I didn’t get them, it would have rained every day. I’ll take this for sure.

Finally, we learned about dog grooming. His golden coat is going to need more attention. I found a mat in his fur and they showed me how to get out. Also, his tail needs daily combing. He’s a little rascal to groom. He won’t hold still for anything. Am I going to have to install a tie-down on the balcony for grooming?

I’m so happy that he likes his crate. He just runs right in there.

I had two near brushes with poop today. Once, I almost trailed my key fob through poop. Another time, I forgot to grab a bag and of course he pooped. I thank him for picking a spot near an easy landmark so I could get a bag, and walk back to the spot with my legs spread apart.

Dinner was a delicious steak stir fry. I couldn’t possibly finish it. I think I’ll have to start getting half portions or something. After dinner, I once again became a zombie. I could barely stay awake to check my email. I did hear from Chuck and that was cool.

I think that’s all I can remember from today. I’m toast once again.

DOOOOOOOOOG DAAAAAAAAAAAY!

No, I’m not excited at all.

I have been awake since 4:30 this morning, partly because my body still thinks it’s on Eastern time and partly because I went to bed before 10. But thanks to Santa, I feel ready to rock!

I’m starting to know my way around the room. I’ve started to group it into sectors. There’s the living area and the sleeping area. In the living area, there’s the fridge closet and the coffee maker desk and the giant short-people-grabbing recliner. If you get in, plan how you’re getting out if you’re small like me. And the TV that has voice guidance and voice commands. And there’s Dog equipment alley with the leash and grooming supplies and a kibble pouch and I threw my cane over there. Oh yeah and next to Giant recliner is a dog bed and tie down.

In the sleeping area, there’s of course the bed and the clothes closet. There’s another desk over there. I call it the phone desk because it has the land phone on it and that’s where I charge my phone. Of course each desk has a chair. Phone Desk also has Santa. On the other side of my bed is where the crate will go. There’s also a bathroom, a dog sink and a human sink. The sinks are outside the bathroom on either side of it. There’s a medicine cabinet above the human sink so I stashed my pills there. On the phone desk side, there is a little carpet to stand on. Oh and the room has 4 exits: 2 to the hall and 2 to the patio. Remember, 2 people used to sleep in here. Steve, did I mention everything here that I said on Whatsapp?

We eat without a dog for the last time this morning. I forget what I selected, but it will be gloriously delicious.

Also, I have 0 headache! Yaaaaaaaa!

Ok, I should shut up for now. Time to go chomp! Don’t leave without my key!

It was banana bread with cream cheese and a delicious fruit cup. We had a really fun conversation about all sorts of stuff. I guess a classmate’s wife grew up in Kitchener. Small world!

Then I went back to my room to brush my teeth…and I got sick! I threw up in my sink and clogged it! Dammit! I must have eaten too fast and then I was furiously swallowing morning meds and my body threw a tantrum. Let’s not do that again! I feel mostly fine but I’m a little shaky. When I got to the fireplace room, there was a career change dog hanging around so I grabbed its leash without thinking. While I was in the dining room, I thought I heard a dog. I guess I was right.

WE just did a pace assessment and I didn’t die. Progress is possible. Boy did that feel good. The nurse came by and offered me some juice and a granola bar. Now we’re playing with rolled up rugs…er doing Juno obedience. Good times.

Juno was a good Juno. We went over obedience commands and I’m not half bad. They showed me a new way to go through an over here door, that’s a door where it would hit the dog when it opened. She showed me this spin command where you open the door and then hold it open with your right hand and then you do all the spinning and the dog just heels through.

I’ve done my first stupid thing already. I held the wrong part of my keys up to the door to my room.

I’m exhausted. Let’s try and recap. Did I talk about the chat we had about all these new changes to our lives now that we have pooches? I don’t remember much because it wasn’t surprising to me, but the newbie was hoovering it up. Then we had lunch. I had a delicious potato soup and more yummy bread and a salad. I didn’t have room for dessert. Then we went and did this transitioning to a new guide dog chat with the guy who is the new counselor. He seems nice enough. It was nice to know I’m not alone in some of my feelings. Then, it was the big exciting time. They would bring us our dogs. In previous classes, we would learn all our dogs’ names together. But this time, we found out our dog’s name when they brought them to us. So I went off to my room, filled up my kibble pouch, discovered that this kibble pouch strap thinks I’m fat because it wouldn’t fit around my waste at the default setting, and waited for the big knock.

Now this is where it gets hard. I don’t want to reveal his name yet, but I’m so tired that I’m afraid I will. They brought him to me. It’s a him. He’s a 3 quarters golden retriever. He feels just like a golden. I have a golden! Who knew? He’s about the same size as Trix and Tansy. But he floats along so smoothly. He is the best heeler I’ve ever had in terms of early heeling.

So I snuggled with him on the floor until it was time for heeling practice. At first, you give kibble every couple of steps. It’s slow going. Man, does he ever drool. He is so drooly that they attached a rag to my kibble pouch for wiping my hands. After that, we did some obedience and talked about sitting in the dining room and scooching them under tables.

Then it was feeding and relieving time. My pooch ate with gusto and he drank a lot of water. The instructor told me it was because in the kennels, they have to work hard at getting the water out of something like a hamster water bottle.

I took him out to relieve, and relieve he did. A big disgusting poop. Then we went for dinner and had pork chops and sweet potatoes and bread and this bundt cake with pecans for dessert. It was the first meal with all the dogs and adventures ensued. Only mild ones. Then we had a lecture on t touch, or doggy massage. Most of the dogs just wanted to play. Mine mostly fell over in a heap. His nose is always on the move and for once it stopped.

And this was the point where the fatigue set in. I could barely think. I was getting lost in my own room. I was making wrong turns all over the place. At one point, I was motoring down the hall at high speed and vroomed right past my room because I was so in the groove.

So after the massage, I gave him more water, which he slurped up. I realized that he stops whatever he’s doing if I say his name. So the poor beast was merrily drinking and I said “Holy crap, dog name goes here,” and he immediately stopped drinking. And no amount of “ok” would convince him to continue. It could have been a coincidence, he drank most of the bowl, but I noticed him popping his head up even when I was dictating his name into a message.

I think that was everything. I’m crashing now. Pooch is in his crate, not making a sound.

So I made it! The first plane. I didn’t have any sleep because of this silly display’s technical oddities. Hopefully I won’t regret that.

I got a sweet welcome email from the folks at Boring with an audio description of the room and the building. I hope I’ll have a chance to check it out.

All I know about the class is there are 3 of us. They said there might be a fourth but it looks like that didn’t happen.

Does anybody know if this BrailleSense 6 has an airplane mode? I looked in the manual and couldn’t find it. Our flight was delayed taking off and I was worried this thing was causing interference or something because I couldn’t find airplane mode.

My emotions are doing their usual bounce between excitement and wondering if I’m up for whatever Newdog has to throw at me. I don’t even know this dog’s name, and he or she has several nicknames. Von Poochenstein, Snarky Puppy, the list goes on forever. What is this dog going to be like? Is there anything it hasn’t been able to try out because of covid? Am I ready for this? Am I focused enough? Can I get focused enough? I’m so curious about what makes this new dog such a perfect match. They are freakishly good at doing matching so I have lots of hope.

I know I packed reasonably, or I think I did, but I’m so worried I brought too much stuff. I know Tansy’s harness is in the bottom of the bag so I can return it to the school but it’s not that bulky a thing, is it? The suitcase didn’t protest when I shut it, but boy was it heavy! It was good to send it on its way in checked luggage. Please don’t lose my luggage. Please please don’t let me down. I also hope the ribbons I tied to it will stay on because the mail didn’t have time to deliver the cute GDB luggage tags, so some ribbon will have to do.

It’s not a direct flight. I go from Pearson to Chicago and then Chicago to Portland. Then they’ll take me to baggage claim where I’ll be met by someone from the school. And off we go.

The nurses seem really sweet. They’re going to make sure I have distilled water for my cpap machine that I affectionately call Santa. They seem really amazing. I already feel welcome and I’m not there yet!

I wonder how much it’s going to rain while I’m there. I bought new rain pants. Are they going to come in handy?

Both other GDB guide dog trips, I wound up with a headache. Can I avoid it this time?

I’m so tired. Maybe I’ll try to nap.
I don’t think I’m napping.

One more thing I wanted to mention. I’m flying United. They don’t take physical cards to buy food or booze or whatever. You have to put your card into the United app to avoid contact. Whatever. You’re already in a cabin huffing their spit. I hope they made it accessible. Also, they told me I could track my checked bag, but one link wouldn’t respond and the other was a 404. United breaks baggage tracking?

Brrr it’s going to be cold in Chicago. I hope I don’t end up outside for long in my light little coat. Oops.

Well I wasn’t because they threw me in a wheelchair and transported me that way. I felt like cargo. “Tell her to walk backwards and sit in the chair!”
“What gate is she?” When I would speak, it was like I was speaking another language. It’s moments like this that I find myself scrutinizing my appearance. My hair is a bit dishevelled. Is that why they think I’m incapable? Is there anything I could have done? Sometimes, I think so, sometimes, not so much.

After being transported like a sack of potatoes, I was put in a golf cart and ignored for the rest of the journey. Then a guy was nice enough to talk to me like a person.

I’m also having no luck talking to fellow passengers on the flight. It feels like they’d like to run from me. Other flights, people actually talked to me. I don’t like the world we’re beginning to inhabit. Maybe I’m just tired and cranky but I’m not sure.

Someone is dictating in front of me. Is it someone who is in my class? Or is it some self-important weirdo?

I forgot to mention the nice cab driver I had on the way to the airport. When I wasn’t drifting off, we talked about everything from dogs to sleep apnea. He was super helpful in finding someone at the airport so we could get this party started.

Man, I hope I can wake up when I finally arrive. And I hope my beast of a bag arrives ok. If only I could track it…

I must look like I’m about to fall over. A couple of the assistance people grabbed my arm and held it in a death grip as if I was about to fall over.

I feel bad for my poor mom. She was having trouble sleeping, so texted me at 4 this morning asking if I’m in my cab. I was at the airport. I hope she got more sleep.

Apparently it’s raining today in Oregon. I wonder how heavy.

I feel like such a jerk. They indicated that we should read all the class training materials before arriving. Because I’ve been streaming them, I don’t have them here to read as I fly. And even if I did, I’d probably fall asleep trying to listen. I’ve gotten through a bunch but there are a bunch more.

It’s tricky to figure out how much flying time is left when a. I keep drifting off and b. we’re going through time zones. My phone says we’re at Chicago 11:30. So I’ve probably got a ways to go.

One thing that kept happening was the pilot kept trying to get people to sign up for a United visa card. What’s up with that?

we’re going to land soon. Woo!

We landed and I was chucked into another wheelchair. I didn’t even know what was up until it was too late. The woman barked “Sit when I tell you.” and then I was in a chair flying at breakneck speed, seemingly nearly mowing over pedestrians. We got to baggage claim and a guy from the school picked me up and found my bag. Yea!

Now that I’m here, I have meaningful things to say. This place is glorious. The food is amazing and everyone is so sweet. I even told the nurse about my anxiety and she said that was normal.

I have eaten dinner and it was delicious. Lunch was a grilled sandwich and dinner was a chicken and mushroom stew with this delicious salad. I took the cupcake back to my room. I’m not missing out on that gloriousness.

There are 3 of us in class. Everyone seems pretty cool. I’m still trying to remember where everything is, but there is an audio description of the room and the building so maybe it will help. My room is massive. I’m starting to connect pieces together but sometimes I’m doing laps until I find something. It will come. There are definitely no shortage of clues.

We have sleep number beds! Between Santa and the bed, I’m going to get the best sleep of my life.

We have our own patios to relieve dogs on. I’m a little confused because there seem to be several doors that lead out there. And I have a key. Don’t go outside without your keys!

I’m so short. Some of the hooks are too high for me to reach. Oh well.

I think that’s about all my brain can handle. Tomorrow is when things get crazy. Here comes Von Poochenstein. No, that is not the dog’s real name. This time, I might hold out on revealing the name until we’ve been together for a bit. Tomorrow morning is a lot of Juno walking, or walking with an empty harness with an instructor holding it. Then, the afternoon is dog day! Eeeeeeeee!