The Real Murderer Is Right Under Your Nose, Officer

I’m surprised that I’ve only heard about this stunt once. Hopefully it won’t become a thing.

Anti-vaxxers took to the streets of Birmingham city centre on Saturday. Some of the demonstrators felt so strongly about the jab, they decided to go the police about it ‘being given to children against their will’.
Chief superintendent Steve Graham told the story to a local coronavirus outbreak engagement board on Wednesday.
He said: ‘We had a deputation who tried to attend Lloyd House to report attempted murder with the Covid vaccine being cited as the cause of death. Yes chair – you can laugh.’

As he was talking, chairman and Birmingham Council leader councillor Ian Ward was seen shaking his head and smiling, the Express and Star reported.
West Midlands Police said they spoke to the man reporting the vaccine, but had to tell him that ‘while he was entitled to his opinion, what he had said did not constitute a crime’.

You know what does constitute a crime? Filing a false police report. I doubt they could make a charge like that stick in this case, but goddamn I’d be tempted to try.

Christ, I’m sick of these people.

That makes me feel a little better, though.

Hollywood Blvd, Saturday, 11:22 AM:

ANTI-VAXX PROTESTER: Do you see all of these homeless people around. Are they dead in the street with COVID? Hell no. Why?

HOMELESS PERSON (walking by): Because I’m vaccinated you dumb fuck.

Covid AAAAAAlert!

Does anybody else freak out every time their COVID Alert app goes off to give you that supposedly reassuring message that “COVID Alert continues to monitor for exposures on your behalf.”? I know what it’s trying to do, but every single time it goes off, I tend to review the last few days, go over where I’ve been, and prepare for the worst. Then I see that…oh, it’s just the friendly reminder that I have a COVID Alert app and it’s working. I don’t know how it does it, but it tends to go off right after I’ve been out somewhere, even if it’s standing outside because of a building fire alarm.

Now, I’ve noticed when it generally happens so when I wake up on the morning of the day when I think it’s going to, I tend to say something to myself about the app going off and that seems to help. But before I figured that out, it was heart attack-inducing. Or maybe it’s just me.

ArriveCANT

Because I’m an optimist for thinking I would need this sooner than later, and a weirdo for liking to plan ahead, I decided to set up my profile on ArriveCAN. I tried once, but it assumed I was traveling right then, and wanted me to start filling out a big ol’ form. But later, I saw in one of their updates that you could enter passport and vaccination information in advance. I thought that was a good idea, since I had heard rumblings that the app was an inaccessible pile, and the last thing I want to do while traveling is smash into more barriers. I already need to certify that my guide dog will not eat other passengers or pee on their shoes, so I did not need to deal with this too. So off I went to get myself set up.

And me oh my what a mess! I’m not sure if this is inaccessible or just broken, but the process was so painful.

  • I managed to get it done, but I had to switch locations from my desktop computer to my phone to the web browser on the phone several times.
  • Sometimes I would be doing fine in one location, until I got to the middle of a process, and then a button just wouldn’t work, so I would have to switch to the other device. But because I was half way through a process, I had to start over.
  • Even when I was on the phone’s browser, sometimes opening the browser to that page would open the app instead, even though I was trying to use the browser rather than the app, hoping to circumvent the accessibility issues.
  • When you reset your password, and you receive a code that you must enter to verify the change, if entering the code on the phone, I couldn’t find a “continue” or “next” or “ok” button of any kind, so I had to abandon the process on the phone and do it on the computer.

And this is an app you’re supposed to use while traveling…when it is not expected that everyone will drag their computer along for the ride. Admittedly, the part I did should be done at home, but travelers have to enter results of a PCR test, which they have to get when on the trip, where they may not have brought every piece of technology they own.

I hope, whenever the day comes that I cross the border, that I don’t run into problems due to ArriveCAN inaccessibility. By the sounds of it, the story is no entry into ArriveCAN, no entry into Canada, and I don’t need that crap.

The Other Log Driver’s Song!

When Steve wrote about the Log Driver’s Waltz, I kept saying to him that that’s not the log driver’s song I remember. And today, Google has told me that I am in fact not nuts. There’s another one, specific to the Ottawa Valley.

Oh yes…that’s the one. Hmmm…I’m getting a flow of memories…of me being an obnoxious little brat and getting told to shut up by my brother and sister for singing this too much…especially in the car. Did I sing this song on a loop on the way home from night skiing? I think every time we drove by anything that had the name Portage in it, I would start to sing about “In Portage Du Fort, we’ll stop for a quart…” every…single…time! I have to say in hindsight that I agree with my brother and sister. I should have shut up. But the song exists!

Hmmm…Here Comes Another Year…

So…um…2021 was a thing. It happened. Now it’s over, and I’m not really sure what to say about it, even though it’s now the beginning of 2022 and I should probably reflect on the year that was.

It started off crappy, but the possibility of vaccines was there and I thought things would look up once enough of us got vaccinated. Things were looking good…until…smaaash! Hello Omicron, how are you? At least it doesn’t seem to cause as serious a cluster of symptoms for the folks who got all their shots, but it just sends life into a tailspin while everybody figures out how much of an impact it will really have. It’s a good thing I’m not reading Stephen King’s “The Stand” right now…

What can I say about this year? Not a whole lot. I spent a lot of it waiting and hoping. At least I got to see some family, which is good, but it was pretty sparse. At least at the end, Steve and I did make it home for Christmas and saw all the wee nephews. I really need to come up with nicknames for them all to put up here. Man, they have changed a lot. They’re all very much developing their own personalities. Seeing them rip through their Christmas presents really made Christmas that extra bit of awesome. Favourite line of the event: “Who gave you this present?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t have time to look!”

We have had plenty of scary health close calls in our family, none of them were COVID-related, but thankfully, it looks like most people are going to be ok. I have one uncle having a rough time, but everybody else seems to be doing pretty well.

Even Tansy has had some wacky veterinary times, but she also seems to have come out the other side unscathed. But all of that Tansy talk will be in another post.

Lots of people have been wishing us a happy New Year, but I ran into someone who wished me a better New Year. I think that’s appropriate. The last couple of years have shifted my expectations. Now, peace and calm would be a nice thing to get in the new year. Let’s all hope for some peace and calm, and maybe some simple joys.

Of Course They’ll Give Me The Money. They Know Me Here

I don’t know much about Fountain Valley, California. I don’t even think I had heard of it until just now. But if there’s one thing I do know about it, that thing is that it is the home of more than one bank. In fact, typing the words “Fountain Valley California bank” into Google like I did a few seconds ago shows that there are at least three of them there, all of which appear to be on the same street. Maybe Google is lying. Now and then it does that. But generally speaking it’s pretty good at getting those types of things right, which for the sake of our friend here hopefully means that he uses a less powerful search engine and not that he’s just a big dumb idiot.

The man entered a Chase bank in the city of Fountain Valley Monday afternoon and gave a teller a note demanding money, officials said.
He fled with a “large amount of cash” before officers got to the bank, the Fountain Valley Police Department said in a statement.
Late Tuesday morning, police received a call about another robbery in progress at the same Chase bank, the statement said.
Responding officers arrested the 33-year-old suspect.

At last word he was being held at the Orange County Jail until he could come up with $170,000 bail. Guess Monday’s large amount of cash wasn’t quite large enough.

We Wish Everyone A Merry Everything…If That’s Even Possible These Days

I wish you…all the luck getting this song out of your head.

So…as far as we know, we’re getting on the train tomorrow at noon. We know that at any moment before that, the trip could be cancelled, either by Via Rail or by us if we decide we can’t do it for whatever reason. But this is the plan. I am looking forward to seeing everyone…but I am nervous.

I hope that, wherever you are, you find some way to enjoy the holidays, whatever form they take. From Steve and I, we hope you can find some peace and joy in this weird holiday.

Battle Of The 5th Grade Classes

Gill has a wicked memory. We were in the same 5th grade class, but I only have a vague recollection of this. I remember the name of the charity and that we raised money for them one year, but anything beyond that, I’m out.

When you were in elementary school, did you ever get in a battle with another class?  Maybe it was to see how many books you could read in a year, or who could have the most science fair projects win prizes.  I am going to talk about a little battle that had no losers, but winners in places we had never heard of.

Prologue

It is sometime in 1989 and I am sitting with my grandmother in her church listening to a guest preacher talking about his missionary work in Africa.  Us children were seated in the front rows, and my beloved grandmother, an elder in the church, was seated behind my sister, 7, and I 9.  The preacher was sharing the story of a little boy, and at one point asked shy 9-year-old me “how old are you?”  I didn’t respond. My grandmother tapped me on the shoulder saying “the preacher asked you a question Gillian.”  I quietly replied, “I’m 9.”  The preacher went on to explain that the little boy was as black  as a heating grate he tapped with his shoe, he also explained to us that the boy had pretty much nothing.  I thought it was unfair that my main concern was my action figures and brand new high-top runners, but those thoughts disappeared into typical kid thoughts like rain encountering sun.

Sleeping Children Around The World

For our non-Canadian readers, Sleeping Children Around the World provides bed kits with mosquito nets for children in developing countries.

One Wednesday in my 5th grade year, someone came to our classroom and brought what looked like what my sister and I would have taken to sleepovers at friend’s houses.  The coordinator explained how the bed kits worked, and what things were in them.  It was confusing to 10-year-old me. There was nothing I loved more than curling up in bed with a book, flopping down after a long day of school and play, and they didn’t have soccer balls?

The Day Of

The battle lines were drawn, with our class doing handy crafts, and the other 5th grade class making baked goods.  We set up the mini-market stalls in the administration section of the school, and proceeded to sell our wares and explain what the event was for. I can’t exactly remember how much the other class raised, but we raised $128, enough to sponsor three bed kits and get some soccer balls or skipping ropes for the children.

Epilogue

It has been over three decades since this fundraiser happened, but I’ll always remember the good feeling of helping kids I didn’t know.  On a side note, this was one of my grandmother’s favorite charities, and in 2003 when she passed on someone donated to Sleeping Children Around The World in her memory.

It’s Probably OK To Get A Flu Shot And A COVID Shot At The Same Time

File this one under good to know. It’s going to be especially handy if I’m right and we eventually move to an annual COVID vaccine to protect us from the mutation of the moment rather than running around like headless, planless chickens arbitrarily throwing boosters into people and hoping for the best.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), yes. There does not appear to be any indication of reduced effectiveness or an increased risk of side effects when both shots are administered in one visit.
In a statement, the CDC said it based the recommendation on multiple vaccine administration with other types of vaccines: “While limited data exist on giving COVID-19 vaccines with other vaccines, including flu vaccines, experience with giving other vaccines together has shown the way our bodies develop protection and possible side effects are generally similar whether vaccines are given alone or with other vaccines.”
A preprint study due to appear in The Lancet and conducted by the University of Bristol found that 97 percent of volunteers receiving a double-shot regimen would do so again in the future.
The CDC added that anyone with concerns about receiving both shots at once should speak with their doctor. In very rare cases, such as in children with immune disorders, simultaneous vaccination is not recommended, though that is usually for other types of vaccines, like PVC13 for pneumonia. Providers should use different injection sites when delivering both shots.

You’d Better Watch Out Indeed

I saw this on Facebook and laughed, so I stole it.

CORRESPONDENCE WITH SANTA:
Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones
* *
Dear Timmy,
Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn’t want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I’ll bring you something you can go outside and play with.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
* *
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the “naughty vs. nice” contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn’t want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don’t you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
* *
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the “nice” criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
* *
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this, but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I’m about to tweet my boys and we’re gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I’m taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
* *
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? “He sees you when you’re sleeping; He knows when you’re awake”. Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you’d throw up your Totino’s pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom’s basement. You’re not getting what you asked for, but I’m still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you’re ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.
S Clizzy
* *
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I’ll appreciate anything.
Timmy
* *
Timmy,
That’s what I thought you little bastard.
Santa