The Picture Of Stupidity

I’m confused. What law says you’re not allowed to snap a photo of under cover cops while they’re conducting a search warrant? If they’re under cover, there’s nothing to see. If there’s something to see, well I guess they blew their cover.

But Randy Dean Sievert is being charged, and accused of violating his probation. Since when was not taking a picture a condition of probation? It seems like they were really looking to grab this guy. Sure he was a known drug dealer, but if they were doing their jobs, i.e. wearing masks, there wouldn’t be anything he could do with this picture. I mean, what could he do? Could he warn his druggy friends to stay away from some guys in ski masks who drive a non-descript car? Could he warn the guy whose house is being searched? It’s a little too late for him to do anything about it now, isn’t it?

The best part of this whole case is when they saw him snap snap snapping away, they threw him on the ground and made him destroy the photo! So, they now have 0 evidence for whatever crime they can dream up that he’s committed. I just don’t get it. If they’d just let him snap away, they would have still been under cover. But now, everybody knows who’s involved, and there’s a big uproar. This whole thing kinda backfired, didn’t it?

The Bitter Biddle Battle

I’m all cool with seeing someone get back what they’re owed, especially from the government, but doesn’t it get a little ridiculous when the person getting repaid is the original lender’s great granddaughter, a great granddaughter who is 77, and the debt is 147 years old? At this point, I don’t think anyone would have records going back so far. If she knew about this since she was a little girl, why wait so long? Good luck with that, Joan Kennedy Biddle, the battle ahead of you may eat up the end of your life.

Well, He Did Do What She Said…

Wow. Just imagine what would happen if we took everything a teacher said completely literally. “Put your nose in the corner.” “Eat the microphone.” “Hold it or pee in my lunchbox!” That’s exactly what the student did. He took her lunchbox behind a book-case, drained his lizard, and gave it back to the teacher. Just imagine her mortified face when he handed it back! That would have been priceless.

There’s another story where parents are all up in arms about it. I mean, I wasn’t there to see how the whole thing played out, but unless she specifically ordered him to pee in the box, how can you blame the teacher for something the kid did? He is 13 in a sixth grade class, so it seems the boy is a little slow.

I would have loved to have seen that classroom that morning. I don’t think anything would have been normal since. I mean, he peed in her lunchbox!

Accuracy? What’s That?

If I’m a reporter, I would think the most important thing to do is to make sure I’m talking to the person I think I am. Ya know, if I’m supposed to be interviewing Hillary Rodham Clinton, I don’t accidentally interview Hillary Wicai Viers, communications director for another senator. But that’s exactly what John Goodall, a reporter for the Warren Tribune Chronicle did. The only verification he got that he was speaking to his target was her picking up the phone saying “this is hilary.” Never did he make sure he got the right Hillary. Way to go, ace. Your career’s looking bright.

I Have A Dream

Black Guy Asks Nation For Change

CHICAGO—According to witnesses, a loud black man approached a crowd of some 4,000 strangers in downtown Chicago Tuesday and made repeated demands for change.
“The time for change is now,” said the black guy, yelling at everyone within earshot for 20 straight minutes, practically begging America for change. “The need for change is stronger and more urgent than ever before. And only you—the people standing here today, and indeed all the people of this great nation—only you can deliver this change.”

It is estimated that, to date, the black man has asked every single person in the United States for change.
“I’ve already seen this guy four times today,” Chicago-area ad salesman Blake Gordon said. “Every time, it’s the same exact spiel. ‘I need change.’ ‘I want change.’ Why’s he so eager for all this change? What’s he going to do with it, anyway?”

The Babs Journal: Day 4 (May 12, 2005)

I don’t have long to write in this, have to go again and take her for busy and then go for another half-hour stroll.

Let’s see, didn’t do much last night except be amazed by her good behaviour as I fought with the computer and the dialup internet, at least it feels like dialup here…spent longer waiting for a page to load than sending emails. Oh well, emails got sent and she was as good as gold.

So today she woke me up with a nuzzling and a lick. What a doll. Still didn’t sleep on her dog bed even though I took it off the frame like instructor Tim said. Oh well, didn’t get into any trouble, had breakfast and we all ordered things from the shopping volunteer. She goes twice a week and gets stuff for us that we need…we give the money and that’s it. Poor Anka tried to understand what we meant, English is her second language you know. And so Sharon asked for dove soap, and she wrote dove soup! Good thing instructor Tim came along and straightened her out.

WE went on another walk, and he showed me how to put the harness on. That’s gonna take a bit to get onto. Lots of intricacies.

I look at that now and go “what were you smoking?” But it is kinda tricky at first, because you have to make sure you don’t hit the dog in the head with the heavy part, and all that stuff.

Went for a walk and she crossed the street and didn’t even freak at the parallel traffic.

Past self, do you honestly think a guide dog would graduate and be freaking at parallel traffic? Honestly? You are such a complete newb. I understand being amazed by a dog knowing what to do if a car went in front of us, but *parallel* traffic? Hell, probably even pet dogs get used to parallel traffic!

Trying to get onto knowing when she’s sniffing, or distracted. They say sniffing for any distraction. Starting to get it. Came back, took her for busy, then groomed her, that was fun. She just loves it. She just loves it to death. had lunch, yeah I said that, then I just read and she slept. Gotta get her up now and we’re going again. Later dudes.

Well we went on the afternoon walk. That was fun. Let’s see. Figured out more of when she’s sniffing. She was a little more stubborn, but oh well.

A little more? I think that was the day that she insisted on running like a mad beast, I thought this was normal and I had to adjust to it, and instructor Tim said nooo! That is not the way this goes! And kept madly giving her a leash correction back to heel. It made a horrible snapping noise, and I cringed and cried out that we must be hurting her! He said nooo! This doesn’t hurt! Do it! But I was too afraid.

I was able to help Margery. Two of her fingers have gone numb from some surgery, and so she can’t read braille, so she had no idea which bills were which that came back from the shopping lady. So I did that and helped her set her radio station…and helped her with the payphone. That made me feel good and useful.

Oh instructor Tim went and got us lottery tickets, we bought them but he went to get them. Margery and I are planning, and trying to get the others in on it, to get instructor Tim something and Anka something.

Let’s see. Oh, I called home and talked to mom. She’s all happy that I haven’t had a bad day yet. I braced her for the worst because people told me there would be good days and bad days, they could never explain what that would entail, but I told mom this would be stressful, so she’s happy I was having no really bad stuff so far. I told her all the stuff that’s happened and stuff.

Oh I talked to instructor Tim about grad. He’s a bit nervous, which makes me nervous.

And he was right to be nervous, past newby self. A guide dog doesn’t come home completely ready for all situations. You have to make them feel all secure and good before you can march them across a stage that you’re not familiar with. But you had to learn that the hard way. Actually, thank god you decided to leave Babs at home for grad, but you had to learn that lesson through other means.

That was about it for today. Yes, she finally slept on her dog bed! Later, hope you’re not too bored. Although it sounds like you’re having fun reading the insides of my silly brain.

Hey! Policeman! Leave Those Kids Alone!

Ok, let’s put another reason on the British kid misery pile. Now, Gary Pugh of Scotland Yard thinks it would be a good idea to get the DNA of early-offending little brats so we can lock ’em up before they commit serious crimes.

That’s just too creepy. And he thinks he can figure out which little brats are going to turn into full-fledged criminal assholes. Good luck with that, and put the lancets away. I don’t think you’re that good yet, and you don’t need kiddy DNA.

Money? I Wouldn’t Count On It.

You know what would be great? If somebody could explain to me what it is WWE is trying to do with this Big Show Floyd Mayweather angle. As things stand after that totally useless episode of Raw last night, I’m so confused it’s not even funny.

Let’s recap what’s happened since No Way Out. Try to follow the bouncing ball if you can.

  • Big Show returns to WWE after being away for over a year.

  • He cuts a promo about how much he’s missed wrestling and how soon he’ll be a champion again.

  • This promo makes him an instant babyface.

  • For some reason he then decides to attack Rey Misterio.

  • Going after one of the company’s most popular characters after that character has just been beaten and is legit injured makes him into an instant heel.

  • Floyd Mayweather, who we know from earlier in the evening is friends with Misterio, will not stand for this and confronts Big Show.

  • Big Show mocks him and tells him to bring it on if he’s so damn tough.

  • Mayweather does in fact bring it on, mashing the crap out of Show’s nose with some frightening punches.

  • This makes him into an instant babyface.

  • The next night, Big Show apologizes to Mayweather because he was told to.

  • Mayweather cuts a promo in the style of the arrogant prick he portrays in the boxing world.

  • this makes him into a bit of a heel, at least more of a heel than Big show is at the moment.

  • Big Show then decides that he’s not done with young Floyd, and proceeds to challenge him to a match at Wrestlemania.

  • Show and Floyd trade promos on the following episodes of Smackdown and Raw.

  • Floyd’s annoyed me so much that he’s either a heel or the worst babyface in the history of ever.

  • On last week’s Raw, the official weigh in takes place.

  • Mayweather is playing heel and Show is back in total babyface mode, going so far as to bring out most of the locker room to combat the entourage that Floyd has with him.

  • It ends up with Big Show press slamming Floyd to the outside of the ring and the wrestlers and boxing folks getting into a pull apart.

  • It’s announced later that Floyd has hurt his elbow, putting him at even more of a disadvantage come Mania.

  • Steve gets confused as to why the heel is the one having to fight against the odds.

  • On Smackdown, Big Show has a 2 on one match against 2 babyfaces and squashes them quickly.

  • I’m pretty sure this would make him a heel, but I don’t know anymore.

  • Which brings us to last night and Big Show’s guest spot on Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel.

  • Show, the babyface, starts insulting Jericho, who is also a babyface.

  • A match is made between the 2, and Jericho’s newly won Intercontinental title is on the line.

  • The match is a short one, because babyface Jericho gets frustrated and heelishly clonks babyface? Big Show with the belt to get himself disqualified.

  • For his trouble, newly heel? Jericho gets knocked out by a Big Show right hand and then chokeslammed to death.

  • the announcers inform Floyd Mayweather that based on what we’ve just seen, he is unquestionably going to die in a couple of weeks.

Got all that? Yeah, me neither.

But here’s the icing on the cake. All of this nonsense is being done to build interest in something they haven’t bothered to announce yet. Are they having a boxing match? A wrestling match? An MMA fight? All 3? It’d be nice if they’d tell us, because they only have a couple weeks left to make me care, and so far they’re failing in spectacular fashion. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that WWE secretly rehired Vince Russo and put him in charge of writing this storyline, because not many people would be capable of coming up with something this confusing and stupid.

Diary Of A Snow Shoveler

I heard this years ago, but I got it again, and thought it was very fitting because of the winter we just had.

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER

December 8:
6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window, watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9:
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12:
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we’ll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow again. I don’t think that’s possible. Bob is such a nice man. I’m glad he’s our neighbor.

December 14:
Snow, lovely snow! 8″ last night. The temperature dropped to *20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn’t huff and puff so.

December 15:
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4×4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that’s silly. We aren’t in Alaska, after all.

December 16:
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17:
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to her. God I hate it when she’s right. I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20:
Electricity’s back on, but had another 14″ of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. freakin’ snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey. I think they’re lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they’re out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they’re lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he’s lying.

December 22:
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it’s so cold it probably won’t melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he’s too busy. I think he’s lying.

December 23:
Only 2″ of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she…nuts??? Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she’s damn well lying.

December 24:
6″. Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the person who drives that snowplow, I’ll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I’ve just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the freakin’ snowplow.

December 25:
Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the @#$%^& slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she’s an idiot. If I have to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to kill her.

December 26:
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She’s really getting on my nerves.

December 27:
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28:
Warmed up to above-50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29:
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave-in. That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30:
Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother. 9″ predicted.

December 31:
Set fire to what’s left of the house. No more shoveling!

January 8:
I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?