If This Ain’t The Deal Of The Century, I’ve Officially Lost Touch

Right now on eBay, somebody is selling a Tim Hortons Roll Up The Rim cup that hasn’t yet been rolled. What’s that? Yes, of course I’m
serious.
I’d never lie to you, you know that.

High bid at this moment is 99 cents. Yes, somebody actually bid on the thing. People never cease to amaze me, they really don’t.

And just in case this isn’t dumb enough for you, the person who ultimately wins this auction will have to pay $1.50 to have the cup shipped to them on top of whatever the winning bid is. I don’t drink coffee, but I’m pretty sure that it would be cheaper to just go to your local Tims and get your “please play again” from there.

And Here I Thought I Had A Twisted Mind

Ok, this is just spooky. I got emailed this little test, and apparently I have a very conventional mind. Everybody, leave your answer to the last thing the test tells you to do in the comments.

At the end of this message, you are asked a question. Answer it immediately. Don’t stop and think about it. Just say the first thing that pops into your mind.

This is a fun ‘test’… AND kind of spooky at the same time! Give it a try, then e-mail it around and you’ll see how many people you know fall into the same percentage as you. Be sure to put in the subject line if you are among the 98% or the 2%. You’ll understand what that means after you finish taking the test’.

Now… just follow the instructions as quickly as possible. Do not go to the next calculation before you have finished the previous one.. You do not ever need to write or remember the answers, just do it using your mind. You’ll be surprised.

Start:

How much is:

15 + 6

3 + 56

89 + 2

12 + 53

75 + 26

25 + 52

63 + 32

I know! Calculations are hard work, but it’s nearly over..

Come on, one more!

123 + 5

QUICK! THINK ABOUT A COLOR AND A TOOL!

What colour and what tool did you think of? Apparently 98% of people think of one colour and one tool, but I’m not telling you what it is until you leave comments. I am one of those 98%! What is up with that? Why can a bunch of calculations make you come up with the same colour and same tool? Is this the most obvious of both types and your mind is working as quick as it possibly can so it just goes for that one? Spooky!

Let Me Tell Ya ‘Bout The Birds And The Bees…Cuz It’s My Job Now

Quebec education reforms cutting back sex ed

Sweeping Quebec education reform is eliminating class time for sex ed and asking teachers to talk about the birds and bees in all classes, from math to gym.

Math to gym?

Well ok, Gym I can kind of understand because hey, sex is exercise, but math? What’s that gonna sound like?

“All right class, what’s 1+1?”

“Uh, 2?”

“I’m sorry, that’s not correct. The answer is 3.”

“It is? Since when?”

“Since you didn’t use protection, that’s when.”…

And Not A Moment Too Soon

Poverty-Stricken Africans Receive Desperately Needed Bibles

An exuberant Clarkson said the Bible drop was the culmination of one of the largest and most aggressive grassroots fundraising drives ever undertaken by the organization, which was able to fund the mission largely through local charitable events, such as bake-offs, barbecues, and pie-eating contests.
“We absolutely would not be here today if it were not for the amazing generosity of the people back home,” Clarkson said. “People everywhere opened up their hearts and checkbooks to us and said, ‘Dig in.'”
Niger, ranked as the second-poorest nation on Earth, is experiencing its worst famine in more than 20 years, as a brutal drought last year was followed by a plague of crop-destroying locusts. An estimated 3.5 million of Niger’s 12 million people are currently at risk of starvation.

I Guess The Classes Aren’t Working

A 27-year-old man is facing up to 120 days worth of jail time after an incident that saw him assault a 59-year-old woman and hit a 63-year-old man with his anger management homework.

Justin Boudin, 27, was on his way to an anger management class when he assaulted a 59-year-old woman at a bus stop.

He hit her in the face after she took out a phone to call the police when he started shouting at her.

When a 63-year-old man tried to stop him, Boudin hit him with a blue folder, which fell on the ground, and ran off.

Police who investigated the assault, in St Paul, Minnesota, tracked him down through the folder which officers said included his anger management homework.

Full story
here.

How Much Is That Doggie In The OH MY DEAR GOD!!!

City government in Amsterdam has announced plans to allow both gay and straight couples to have sex in public at a place called the Vondelpark, which hosts over 10 million visitors each year.

The plan has caused the outrage you would expect, but rather than coming from so-called morality crusaders like it would around here, the city council is catching heat from
dog owners who are upset that another part of the legislation will outlaw unleashed dogs in the same area.

“As long as the park has existed, we’ve been allowed to let our dogs run freely,” said one angry area resident. “It’s outrageous that we will be punished from now on but public sex won’t.”

Two things:
1. You live in Amsterdam, a place where sex and drugs are part of your average Tuesday. Public sex is a logical step, and I’m surprised legalizing it in this particular spot took this long or was even necessary to begin with.
2. Which of the following has more of a tendency to tear a person in half?
A. Two people fucking
or
B. An unleashed dog.

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Oh, and before anybody asks, I have no idea if there is any truth to the rumour that the offending area will be renamed the Fondlepark.