Oh My God, I Have Nothing To Wear! .com

I know that a lot of people are really into buying clothes, and I’m cool with that. There’s nothing wrong with having a lot of something you like. But that said, if ever the problem of what to wear becomes such an issue that you need an internet closet assistant, it might be time to throw some shit away.

Closet Assistant requires the user to manually input their inventory of clothing. Users can simply upload a picture, or go the whole nine yards by adding names, descriptions (complete with category and subcategory), price paid, and purchase date. Once added to their virtual closet, these items can be combined with others to make an outfit. You can then share these outfits with others Closet Assistant users (on a MySpace-like profile page), or schedule what you want to wear, and when you want to wear it until the end of time using the calendaring tool.

Hopefully among the description fields there’s one for number of precious life moments lost entering socks into a computer.

The Name Game

Since I somehow managed to miss the hilarity of
Kenneth Sodomsky
even after reading it twice before Carin saw it and posted it, I feel the need to try to redeem myself. So…

1. With a name like this you’d think she’d know better, but apparently not.

Ordered to serve an extra 90 days in jail on top of the remainder of a 5 year suspended sentence for grand larceny and burglary after signing a court document with a note telling the judge to kiss her ass is
Judith Law.

2. I know the spelling isn’t exact, but you give me another way to pronounce it.

Arrested on charges of battery for allegedly groping 2 women repeatedly is
Larry L. Letcher.

There, that seems like a decent start.

He Definitely Put the Gas in Gastroenterologist

Oh dear, oh dear dear. Someone is seriously disturbed, disturbed enough to study farts in graphic detail.

I mean I’m all for studying those things we don’t like to talk about, but…getting volunteers to eat beans and then fart into bags via rectal tubes and then get other people to sit there and have syringes of the stuff waved under their noses? That’s just twisted. But I love the terms used in this article.

No Brains, All Hart

Wow. This guy would feel pretty stupid in the morning. Jeremy Hart showed up drunk to rob a house, wearing a red Santa hat among other things, ploughed his car into a snow bank, only took prescription drugs and votive candles, and when he went to leave, he discovered he couldn’t get out of said snow bank, and had to knock on the door he just robbed and ask for shelter from the cold. Needless to say, he got some shelter, in a jail cell.

Bluetooth Brings Orange Jumpsuit

This guy was not meant to rob the Wendy’s. It just wasn’t going to happen. First, he found out the safe was time-locked so he’d have to wait. Then his screams not to anser the phone activated the bluetooth headset on someone’s cellphone, which made the person on the other end of the phone call police. But the final straw was when he exited the restaurant with an employee as a hostage, which caused the automatic lock on the door to lock behind him. Done like dinner! Well, not without some strange antics from this idiot on parole. He bashed his own head with his own gun until he bled, and then surrendered. Yup, you belong in jail.