The Jury Finds You Innocent On The Charge Of False Advertising

Excluding the last few weeks, I believe I’ve thought about the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool approximately 0 times in my entire life. Actually make that one time, because we know some people who saw it while travelling some years ago and told us about it when they came back. They thought it was nice, as I recall. I wonder what they’d think of it now.

Trump’s ability to ruin literally everything he touches is amazing, isn’t it? Pools, businesses, marriages, millions of innocent lives, the world as we know it…at least the guy’s consistent, I suppose.

But what if, just once, everyone else is wrong and he didn’t fuck up? It sounds crazy, but stay with me.

I submit for your consideration the theory that this Reflecting Pool thing isn’t actually an expensive debacle. On the contrary, it’s a rare case of Trump getting every single dollar’s worth of exactly what he ordered the public to pay for. It has to be, because when he handed the job to a company called Greenwater Services, what else could he have possibly expected?

Oh, and the guy who owns that company is a total crook, just in case you somehow weren’t sure how he wound up in Trump’s orbit.

The head of the company that owns the firm responsible for part of the renovation of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool pleaded guilty to bribing a congressman, The New York Times reported on Thursday night.
President Donald Trump fixated on the Reflecting Pool in recent months, taking a personal interest in seeing to its renovation. He frequently brought up the topic during press gaggles, even when reporters had not asked him about it. Since the job was completed, the pool has been plagued by algae blooms. This week, passersby at the pool began to notice paint starting to peel away from the bottom. Rather than reflect the color Trump chose for the bottom – American flag blue – the algae has given the pool a distinct green hue.
As part of the renovation, Trump awarded a $1,7 million no-bid contract to an Ohio company to install a water purification system. The name of the company is – and this is true – Greenwater Services.

The congressman he bribed was Ohio Democrat James Traficant, who was himself convicted of bribery and racketeering back in 2002.

Only the best people.

BK, I Wanna Pay

Discounted Burger King is still Burger King so on one level I understand, but seriously, who ever heard of threatening someone for giving you a break?
Here’s a video version of the story that the uploader won’t let me embed, because much like our friend here he must also hate things that are helpful to him.

The employee, Howard Vernon, told WOIO-TV he was taking the customer’s order − two sausage, egg and cheese croissants, a sausage biscuit, and hash browns − which totaled about $8.
“He was like, ‘My order can’t be right, it should be like $11,’ and I’m like trying to explain to him that we had a promotion going on, and like it’s cheaper, and he started cussing and getting all loud, and I was like, ‘I don’t know what to tell you, I don’t know why you want to pay more money,’” Vernon told the outlet.

The customer sped away from the scene, but images captured on surveillance video at the business show he returned a short time later and pulled alongside another car parked outside the drive-thru window.
Images show he then got out of the car and pointed a gun in the direction of the window and the employee.

He was also said to be yelling racial slurs, because what else would a guy like this be doing?

Whether one of the things he was doing was leaving with his food after all this silliness was not reported.

And I don’t know why the two written reports call the victim Howard but the reporter in the video calls him Tim. I’m just glad he wasn’t injured, whatever his name is.

We Just Figured Out Lovemaking And Now We’re Moving On To Genitals

I imagine that there’s someone reading this who could provide me with a long and involved explanation of how swearing as we know it actually came to be and that I would find it rather interesting. I could probably even look one up myself, if I wanted to. But for now I think I’ll stick with this one. It just makes sense.

Don’t Let Me Catch You Kids Parking

People trying to do an innocent thing and running headlong into porn instead is nothing new. Replace the words QR code in this story with phone number and you’ve got a tale as old as time. In fact, it’s one that I wouldn’t even have bothered to mention had CTV Kitchener not given us all a wonderful gift by assigning it to reporter Jeff Pickel.

Erika Monteiro, who owns a clothing store, said she initially couldn’t believe what her customers were telling her.
“I thought it was like a joke, so I scanned the QR code myself,” Monteiro said.
“At first it seemed fine, but then it wouldn’t let you pay for parking—that seemed to have been disabled,” Monteiro explained. “But when you went to press ‘pay for a parking ticket,’ it would send you directly to the adult entertainment website.”
Monteiro reported seeing township workers racing through downtown yesterday afternoon, covering the compromised QR code signs with garbage bags and tape.

If It Wasn’t For The Community Service, You’d Be In Jail Right Now!

“Driving around with alcohol and cocaine in your system and getting into an accident is definitely bad.”

“Maybe, but what if that accident were to kill a guy who was driving around with alcohol and meth in his?”

“Nope, still bad. But thanks…I guess?

“You know what? I think I’m gonna try to avoid roads for a while.”

On Jan. 14, 2022, North Las Vegas police reported the two-car crash near Cheyenne Avenue and Civic Center Drive. Police said a car was making a U-Turn in a center lane, causing the front of another car, which Butler was driving, to collide with it. The driver and the passenger in the first car were both ejected from the vehicle, police said.

While a trauma paramedic was attending to Butler’s injuries, “a small baggie containing a white substance fell out of the left side of her bra,” police said. Police confirmed the substance was cocaine.
Nearly two weeks after the crash, blood tests confirmed Butler had cocaine and cannabinoids in her system. The blood draw also found Butler had an alcohol level of .102, which is above the legal limit.
The victim who died in the crash had a blood alcohol level more than three times above the legal limit. The person also had a substantial amount of methamphetamine in their system, police said.

Summer Butler, who was also doing 70 MPH in a 40 MPH zone, was sentenced to three years of probation as well as between 28 and 72 months in prison after pleading guilty to charges of reckless driving and driving under the influence. The jail time was suspended as long as she sticks to her conditions.

Reinventing the Cane When You’re On Wheels

As I started writing this post, a song came to me that is kinda sorta related. At least the part about what-if scenarios. It’ll make sense eventually. At least I hope so.

From time to time, I have wondered how I would get around if I were in a wheelchair for whatever reason. Yup, I’m weird. But seriously, nothing is guaranteed. Some day, I could break a leg or get in a car accident or some such, and…bam! I’m in a wheelchair! Maybe it’s only for 6 weeks, but six weeks is a long time when I don’t know how the hell to get around. Yeah, I know the simplest part. If I didn’t have a guide dog trained for guiding someone in a wheelchair, I’d have to use my cane to look for obstacles. But the margin for error is waaaaay narrower if I’m on wheels. If I find the high part of a curb when I’m walking around, it’s a minor oopsy. If I find a high curb in a wheelchair unexpectedly…I could be in that wheelchair a lot longer if it was originally only temporary. You get the point. Plus the physics is a lot different. Stopping instantly in a wheelchair is a wee bit harder, so the cane has to be longer. But how much longer? And how wide of an arc do you need so you don’t crash-clatter-crunch the side of your chair into everything as you go by? And don’t you need both arms to drive the chair if you have a manual one?

I have always gotten the sense that the knowledge about how this is accomplished is pretty sparse. Usually, when someone has two disabilities, it complicates stuff and people only know about how to do things with one or the other. This whole white cane and wheelchair combo seems to be no different.

Luckily for us, somebody wrote out a guide with lots of details, tips and tricks.

I hope I never need it, but I’m glad it’s there if I do. Thanks Ellana Crew for doing all the in depth research.

Into The Sun, Out Of The Solar System…Go Where You Want, Just As Long As It’s Far And Unpleasant!

There is an absolute crap ton of math going on here that I 100 percent do not understand, but it’s nice to know that I have options as it relates to the disposal of my enemies. On The Fuel Efficiency of Launching My Enemies Into The Sun

The biggest problem I face now is which would be preferable to me. Launching them into the sun seems more immediately satisfying because the outcome is certainly not in doubt. But firing them out of the solar system may give them more time to sit and think about what they’ve done, depending on how well they handle the journey. I’m not so big on the death penalty, because once it’s over, it’s over. You’re gone, never to think about your transgressions again. But the rest of us are still here, living with their fallout every day. So perhaps it’s better to think about them floating around out there for years and years, alone with nothing but their miserable thoughts. Yeah. Probably that. But it’s so much more natural to scream “into the sun” than “out of the solar system”, and the screaming about it is no small part of the experience. So who knows?

It appears we’ve solved nothing here. Sorry to have bothered you all.

Settle Down, Premier Trump

If you’re a politician and you disagree with a court ruling, it’s fine to say so. By all means, feel free to calmly and rationally explain your issues with the judge’s decision and maybe even muse about possible next steps that your government may take if applicable. But at no time should you go out of your way to threaten a judge and generally whine like a little bitch. Don’t pull a Doug Ford, in other words. Christ, just listen to this fuckin’ man baby chew about the absolutely foreseeable consequences of a problem that his government has done nothing to fix and in some ways has actively made worse.

Ford said Gibson’s decision was “the most ridiculous ruling I’ve ever seen” that puts the rights of a few dozen people over millions of future transit riders.
“He comes out with this cockamamie idea that they’re gonna hold up transit, so for what, 30 people, they’re going to hold up millions and millions of riders, communities and everything,” Ford said at an unrelated press conference in Sault Ste. Marie.
“The judge is saying that we got to hold up projects and everything,” he said. “I wish I could get that guy’s address, I’ll send 50 encampments in his backyard and see how he likes it.”

It’s nice to hear him say, as he does in the video, that he’s going to take care of these homeless people. I’d love to know when he plans on starting and what he’s going to do. Are we raising social assistance rates? Restoring rent control so that people don’t become homeless simply because they’re priced out of the market? Mandating that a significant percentage (like maybe half) of all new housing be affordable? Tackling the waiting lists for geared to income housing? Funding supportive housing? Restoring funding for all the harm reduction sites you shut down? Building new shelter spaces instead of all of those stupid jails? Emphasizing support in the jails we already have instead of just warehousing people and hoping that the magical fairies will come and sprinkle mystical happy rehab therapy dust on everyone as they get released? Any of that would be far more worthwhile than whatever it is you’re doing now. I suggest getting off your ass and getting to work.

Another Reason To Hate CAPTCHAs: Scammers Are Pretending They’re Broken And Tricking People Into Installing Malware To Fix Them

If you’ve spent oh, let’s say about 20 minutes online in your lifetime, you’ve probably run into one of those “verify you are human” or “I am not a robot” things. Most of the time, it’s a simple enough operation to prove you’re a person and move on with your day. Annoying for people with disabilities if not implemented well, but nowadays not something that’s going to make the difference between being able to use a service and being shut out nearly as often as it used to. I almost, dare I say, take it for granted now.

So of course, it’s time to start thinking about CAPTCHAs again, because the scammers have gotten involved. How it took this long for that to happen I have no idea, but here we are.

Fortunately, it’s pretty easy to not get caught up in this if you know what you’re doing. but if you’re like me, you’ve got a lot of people to warn all of a sudden.

It starts when you land on a website and get a “verify you are human” or other captcha prompt. It’s what comes next that identifies the scam.
A message pops up saying the captcha system failed and you need to run some commands to resolve the problem. First, you may be asked to click a “Fix It” or “How to Fix” button (where the scam’s alternate name “ClickFix” comes from). Unfortunately, this copies malware code onto your clipboard, but it doesn’t install it. It’s what victims unknowingly do next that installs the malware.
Victims who click the “Fix” button then get instructions to key in a series of commands, and it’s this step that installs the malware.
On Windows, victims may be asked to key in commands like this:
•
Win + R (which opens up the Windows Run box)
•
Ctrl + V (which pastes the malware code into the Run box)
•
Enter (which starts running the malware)
On a Mac device, they may be asked to key in:
•
Command + Space (which opens Spotlight)
•
Type “Terminal”
•
Press Enter (opening up Terminal, an interface in which code can be entered into the system)
•
Command + V (which pastes the malware code into the Terminal)
•
Return (which starts running the malware)

A legitimate CAPTCHA system will never ask you to do any of that. It’ll just fail with little to no explanation and make you solve the puzzle again and again until you finally get it right. If you’re on a site with a CAPTCHA that asks you to type a bunch of things into windows, ignore those instructions and get away from there immediately. If it’s a site you recognize, by all means report what happened, because they’ve now got a problem on their hands. But chances are (for now at least), if you’re seeing something like this, you’re not somewhere you really want to be. Be careful out there.