So Long To The WWE Network As A TV Channel, And To WWE On Canadian TV

TV Channel Update: WWE Network
We want to let you know that effective December 31, 2024, the broadcaster of WWE Network will be moving this content to Netflix, and it will no longer be available as an add-on with your TV package. Since you subscribe to WWE Network as a separate monthly service, it will be removed, and you will no longer be charged as of this date.
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The Canadian experience was more costly and substandard (especially on the streaming side) than it was in America, but it was cool having WWE Network as a TV station for the last 10 years. I had a lot of fun flipping to it on a lazy weekend or late at night when I was having trouble sleeping and landing on a random show from 40 years ago. For me, that turned out to be an even bigger draw than getting all the PPVs for no extra cost. that ruled, but deep down I think I knew that that was never going to last. That it’s lasted as long as it has is a minor miracle. I always kind of assumed that eventually they would pull Wrestlemania and perhaps Summerslam and Royal Rumble out and start selling them separately, but they never did. Thanks, guys. that’s actually a pretty cool thing for a money hungry corporation to do.

We have Netflix here since Carin got it years ago so that she could watch Black Mirror or something and then never got rid of it, so I can follow it there, but it’s not going to be the same. I still like my TV to be on TV, especially when I’m tired.

But what really isn’t going to be the same isn’t mentioned in that blurb. It’s not just the Network that’s moving to Netflix in Canada come January. It’s everything. Raw, Smackdown, NXT. For the first time in my lifetime, WWE will be completely off of TV in Canada. And let me tell you something, I am reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaly, reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaly not looking forward to it. I’m not looking forward to explaining to my uncle and elderly grandparents that they still live juuuuuust out of the way of the good internet service so they can’t watch wrestling anymore. And I’m especially not looking forward to having to break it to my dad that one of the few enjoyable things left in his life is suddenly going to disappear. the man can barely use his flip phone properly or write a coherent grocery list at this point. He ain’t paying for internet or figuring out how to work Netflix.

I know times change and all, but this is actually pretty shitty.

That sure took a turn, didn’t it?

Anyway, if you turn on your TV one day and wonder where all the wrestling went, now you know.

I Think I Like This Version Better

Since I mentioned “Get Low”, it made me think of this parody by Young Jeffrey called “Don’t Go”, which would be me if I ever went to the club now. Well, just all the stuff about everything being too expensive and loud and gross and crowded and feeling old and stuff. Peeing by the dumpster would be friggin weird. And at least I’m not the only one who struggles to find their Uber…I just have the extra wrinkle of them driving off when they see the dog, or maybe taking anyone but me.

Ug. This thing has no captions and it needs them. And I don’t trust myself to write them all out without getting something wrong, especially at a couple of middle parts. Here is my best attempt. Feel free to tune me up.

Lady’s and Gentleman, if you’re going out tonight, you’ve gotta lower those expectations! We’re gonna have an average ok time! Let’s pregame this!

Friday night, clubbin’ time, before we can go in we gotta wait in line,
move slow, move slow, move slow, wait mo’, wait mo’, wait mo’, wait mo’
From the sidewalk, (from the sidewalk)
to the rope! (to the rope)
We’re gonna stand down in that cold,(cold)
’til all these females froze, (froze)
’til we all freeze freeze on the corner, (on the corner)
’til we all freeze freeze goddamn! (goddamn)
Can we move please please a little faster? (faster)
Can we move please please goddamn?! (goddamn)
I’m at the do, show my ID, pay 15 dollars for the entry fee…that’s fine.
I get inside, where the guy to girl ratio is way too high.
Hopin’ to meet some girls tonight,
spot a cutey over there I like.
Right now I’m feelin’ way too shy,
gotta go and get a drink first, liquid pride.
Walkin’ up to the bar, I’m feelin’ thirsty
I try to get their attention so they serve me.
Yeah I’ll be wavin’, shoulder leanin
debit card out so they can see it.
I’m gonna stand there several minutes
as the bar tender skips me for the hot chicks.
And tonight there’s no bein’ thrifty
’cause 1 light beer costs $11.50
We’re gonna all take a shot, yo
And Ima try to not gag as it hits my throat
The flavour’s really gross! (Really gross!)
and then I’ll throw it back (what?) and maybe throw it up in a sec.
Crowd’s so huge, we can’t move.
Every direction, people bumpin’ you.
Elbows, elbow, elbow, shoulder, elbow, step on my toes!
From the table (from the table)
to the flo’! (To the flo’!)
Gonna shove me all night long, (long)
’til there’s drinks spilled down my clothes! (clothes)
Got some Hennessy on my dockers,
Got some Hennessy on my pants.
Got a daquery on my shoulder,
and a martini on my hand.

Spot a hottie in the crowd (you scared, you scared)
But the music’s too loud (you scared, you scared)
If ya wanna flirt now (you scared, you scared)
Lemme show you all how! (you scared, you scared)
You gotta lean in, to the ear and, gotta scream at the top of your lungs, hey!
Gotta lean in, get in near and, just scream ’til your voice is all gone.
Hey, hey! What’s your name?
What?
I, said, what’s your name?
What?
Tell, me, what’s your name?
What?
Can’t, hear, anything!
And stop! and grind ’em,
Yeah sneak, behind ’em
Go dance surprise ’em,
and they, say they’ve got to find a friend.

Half past 9, we lost brian, ‘nother friend is trying to start a fight outside.
Oh no! chil bro, chill bro, chill bro, chill bro, chill bro, chill bro!
In the bathroom, (in the bathroom)
down the hall, (down the hall)
There’s a girl cryin’ in that stall, (stall)
’bout her ex boyfriend named Paul. (Paul)
But ya can’t wait wait any longer, (longer)
No ya can’t wait wait, goddamn ! (goddamn)
Gonna go pee pee by the dumpster, (by the dumpster)
Hope the cops don’t see, god, god, goddamn!

Maybe it’s just me, but when I look around this room, why do I get the distinct feeling I’m the oldest person here?

If you’ve ever worn heels that snapped and broke, shake your head like a mother (don’t go!)
If you ever fell down, and shout at your phone, shake your head like a (don’t go)
If you ever had the bar tender cut you off, shake your head like a (don’t go)
If you’ve ever had beer goggles work before, shake your head like a (don’t go)

Past midnight, Uber ride, charge me triple with the surging price,
spend mo’, and mo’, and mo’,
use all my dough, until I’m broke!
Call an Uber, (to the Uber)
take me home! (to my home)
drop a pin down on that phone! (phone)
That was half an hour ago! (go)
Gonna fall asleep on the corner, (on the corner)
Gonna fall asleep, goddamn! (goddamn)
Can you please please please call the driver? (call the driver)
Can you call please please goddamn?!
Hello? Where are you? what? no! I’m on Second street! No, Second, I think it’s a one way. No I don’t see you. Are you here? Should I walk over? what kind of prias are you driving? What?

Bleh. That caption job was not my best work. Hope someone can help fix up the rough spots.

Have A Holly Jolly What Now?

This “There I Ruined It” guy really has a very twisted mind. Only he could Take “Get Low” and set it to “Holly Jolly Christmas” and not only have it work, but get it stuck in my head so that when I’m doing Christmas things, I get the “Holly Jolly Christmas” tune in my head, and then start humming and singing the wrong words.

“Oh By Golly skeet skeet, mother fucker, goddamn.” Wait! That’s not right. Oh dear!

This Christmas, we’re really running behind. We’re doing a lot better than we were, but still. About a week and a half ago, we had absolutely nothing. At least now we have most of the stuff. But this was much closer than we like to cut it. I don’t know what it was this year, but it really snuck up on us. I like to get pictures of whatever guide dog I have in different places, and I haven’t gotten that wrangled yet. When I finally called some pet stores to see if they’re doing Santa photos, they’d all done them a couple of weeks ago if they were doing them at all. Looks like I’m on my own for Domino pictures this year. Oh well. At least I don’t have to think about shipping times since whatever I send to people will be being sent digitally because of our Canada Post strike.

I hope everyone else is more in the Christmas spirit than I’ve managed to be. I’m sure that when we see the kids get their gifts, it’ll all be worth it. But it’s been a bit of a journey.

No OnionWars For Now

I was very, very excited when it was first announced that The Onion was going to be buying InfoWars. But it looks like I’ll have to put a lid on that excitement for now, because a judge has just rejected the bid on procedural and transparency grounds. The door isn’t closed on the Onion folks eventually getting their hands on it, but for now it’s back to the drawing board.

“I don’t think it’s enough money,” Lopez said in a late-night ruling from the bench in a Houston court. “I’m going to not approve the sale.”

It was not immediately clear whether there would be a new auction in which The Onion could bid again for Jones’ assets. Lopez said he would leave the decision about what to do next in the hands of the trustee, Christopher Murray, who had overseen the auction.
The judge said Murray had acted in good faith in running the auction in which The Onion’s parent company initially appeared to prevail, but he said the trustee did not run a transparent process and should have given a rival bidder associated with Jones another chance to improve its bid.
“I think you’ve got to go out and try to get every dollar,” Lopez said. “I think that the process fell down.” 
The ruling dashed, at least for now, Global Tetrahedron’s plans to take over Infowars and radically shift its content from anti-government conspiracy theories to satirical humor. Instead, Jones can continue operating his far-right media business as he has for decades.

I understand the focus on money, because that’s how these sorts of cases generally should work. And the Judge did also make it clear that the rival bid wasn’t worth enough, which is nice, I guess. But I’m bothered by the idea that the pursuit of pure cash, even if it’s going to a good place, trumps the will of the very people who would ultimately be benefiting from it. Unless I’ve missed something huge, I haven’t heard a peep from any Sandy Hook families who would like for Alex Jones to continue being Alex Jones.

Yes, my concerns are more moral than legal, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Giving the wants of the victimized more weight than those of the guilty in a case like this one feels like the right thing to do, not to mention that a company associated with Jones shouldn’t be able to do an end-run around the system and just buy all his stuff back for him in the first place. That strikes me as a bug in the system, not a feature of it.

Ba Da Ba Ba Ball

Man. Why can’t this fella ever be my delivery guy? Half the time it’s all the ones around here can do to get it all the way up to my apartment rather than just dumping it in the unsecured vestibule and hoping for the best.

With 16:30 left in the second half of the matchup, Loyola-Chicago had the ball down near the right baseline when an Uber Eats delivery man waltzed onto the court looking for someone to claim the McDonald’s he was holding. 
An official timeout was whistled as the delivery man was ushered off the court, and the game announcers couldn’t believe their eyes.

One of the announcers wondered, probably jokingly, whether the referee had called it in. But based on a second video of our hero wandering around with the stuff in his hands while talking to some folks, I think it’s safe to say no.

Hopefully, if these two ever did find each other, a good tip was given. And when I say good tip, I mean one other than in future, maybe don’t amble onto a basketball court mid game.

Disco Gunther, Reggae Cena And Other AI Wrestling Tunes


Like I said to Barb when she sent this, if this tech had been around back in the days when most of my friends liked wrestling we would have wasted so many hours doing this it’s not even funny.

The title is a bit misleading, though. They’re not improving wrestling theme songs as much as they’re writing hilarious songs about wrestlers. But Hulk Hogan should maybe think about using his next time he speaks at the Republican convention.

Sam Driver and Adam Pacitti use the latest in high tech artificial intelligence to improve the WWE entrance music of its top Superstars.

Today In Rotten Baseball Ideas: The Golden At-Bat

The Golden At-Bat rule could give MLB a new shine. But is it worth it?
I don’t remember where this theory came from and I’m too lazy to try looking it up, but for years I’ve heard people say that when a headline ends with a question, the answer is almost always no. This is definitely one of those times.

What if a team could choose one at-bat in every game to send its best hitter to the plate even if it wasn’t that guy’s turn to hit? That’s the Golden At-Bat concept in a nutshell.
Say there are two outs in the 10th inning in October. The Yankees and Guardians are tied. Does this ring a bell at all? But in this alternate October universe, it’s not Juan Soto who is due up. It’s, say, Oswaldo Cabrera. Except the Yankees say: No, no, no. We’re going to use our Golden AB here … and send up Soto. Then home run magic happens.

“Wouldn’t that have been the (ultimate) Golden At-Bat homer?” one front-office executive mused, as we were talking about this concept. “Can we send Juan Soto up there to do that? He actually did hit that homer in that moment.”
He did. And that’s the goal. So should baseball change the rules to attempt to create more of those moments? That’s the question.

And the answer, as you can probably guess from the first thing I wrote, is a hard damn no from this guy.

I can see why the idea might be appealing. Put the fate of the team in the hands of its biggest star when it matters most. How exciting, right? But the problem is that for you to like this, you have to not like baseball very much as it is. And you also have to not understand why things are exciting in the first place. And you have to not care about the human beings who play and run the game and their relationships with one another.

Ok, so that’s more than one problem. There might even be more, but those are mine.

Baseball is already plenty exciting. A lot of that is because of the unpredictability of it. Remember when pitchers used to hit? That sucked most of the time because many of them didn’t really know how and the universal designated hitter is almost certainly for the best, but how fun was it when one of them took somebody deep? Or how cool is it when some guy fresh from the minors or a guy in a slump or a veteran who struggles to get much playing time comes off the bench and wins a game? Guys have built careers on moments like those. If you enjoy that stuff, this Golden At-Bat thing isn’t for you. If your team has anyone halfway good on it let alone a Juan Soto or a Shohei Ohtani, how many big swings do you suppose the minor leaguer or the veteran is going to get? That aspect of the game is all but dead under this system.

And let’s talk about that veteran. that guy looking to break out of a rut. The one trying to find his place on the team. Sports can often be as much about confidence as they are talent. What is constantly getting sat down when it’s supposed to be his turn doing for his confidence? You can only be told so many times that you suck too much to be relied on before you start believing it. How are you going to learn how to handle a high pressure situation if you never get to handle a high pressure situation?

Even if you’re playing ok, what message does it send to you about your value to the organization if you’re repeatedly being swapped out for someone the manager thinks is better? How many guys are going to quit on the team, ask to be traded away or walk in free agency because they feel disrespected?

This isn’t so great if you’re a star, either. The season is long, and it puts a lot of wear and tear on your body. Should we be asking even more of someone who might already be just barely able to play as it is? Or what if you turn out not to be very good in the Golden spot for some reason? How many times can you swing through an 0-2 fastball and let the team down before it starts messing with you and your play suffers?

You’re going to have a hard time convincing me that none of this will mess with team dynamics. Not just between player and coach, but between the players themselves. You’ll have those who want the others to step up, and then the others who will quite rightly point out that they can’t step up if no one lets them.

But let’s pretend that none of that is going to happen and we can just focus on the positives it would create. How long are those going to last?

A lot of this seems to be about creating big moments to keep modern fans engaged. Maybe I’m the crazy one here, but if you’re at the point of considering fundamentally changing your well established sport for no reason, those aren’t fans you’re chasing. You’re alienating the millions who already watch your offering and enjoy it for the sake of what, exactly? This is completely different from the pace of play stuff like the pitch clock. That made sense. The game has gotten far too slow, to the point that it’s irritating a lot of us who have been watching it for decades. Why not experiment with some rule changes to speed it up? I’ll say that even about the ghost runner on second base in extra innings. I hate that stupid thing, but at least I can understand what it’s trying to accomplish.

But this? It’s not trying to accomplish anything. It’s all about trying to manufacture that which cannot be manufactured in the hopes that somebody somewhere who has never cared will suddenly care and then keep on caring forever. A moment is only a moment because it’s momentary. It comes into being because of a set of twists, turns and circumstances that all line up just so. That’s why it’s exciting. Ohtani and Trout facing off in the WBC is something we don’t see. It was a thing that happened because a rare situation allowed it. If it happened every couple weeks, would we still be talking about it like we do? Or to put it another way, if we had an eclipse every day, would you still bother racing to get your spot at the point of totality each time? Of course not. Things like that are special because of their uniqueness. To force a moment, to whatever extent you can even do that, is to take all of that away. Hopefully, baseball will realize this before it goes too far.

Is Everything Moving On High Speed?

I think we have a new phenomenon called New Year’s Creep. It’s not just Christmas. Now people want to speed right on to the next thing.

I was walking through the mall the other day, and I heard Auld Lang Syne playing! This was in November. All I could think was way to make me feel even worse about the fact that I haven’t bought any Christmas presents yet. Now you’re giving me the feeling that I missed the whole holiday. In half a second, I was filled with that letdown feeling I always feel after the noise makers stop dinging and the people stop singing at the end of New Year’s Eve, that feeling that all the fun stuff is over and now it’s time to drag myself through gloomy January.

It was just once, and maybe I’ll never hear it again. But I sure thought it was weird.