Point Click Boom

Amazingly, the stupidest thing I’ve read this week has nothing to do with idiot criminals. Well, unless you view insurance companies as criminals, which would certainly be a debatable point.

So remember a monthish ago when a tent collapsed at the music festival in Belgium? I’ll give you a second to think about it since there was an unusually high number of those incidents this summer (Thanks, nature!).

Like any smart organization, the folks behind the festival were ensured out the ass, just in case. And since just in case became oh thank god, an adjuster was called in to investigate and assign blame to its rightful owner.

Here’s where things get interesting, especially if you enjoy the sort of logic that strains the very definition of the word.

the giant tent fell down. People died. Who’s fault would that be? The people who built it? The ones who set it up that day? The schlub from the Ohmygodthefuckingtentisgoingtofalldownrunforyourlives! department who was asleep at the switch? Those are fine guesses all, but they are not correct.

The problem, as it turns out, is all of you goddamned music pirates! Yes, you with the iPod, I’m looking in your direction. I see that look on your face, and it’s the look of a murderer. A murderer that’s rockin’ out to some rad tunes, but still, a murderer.

You may ask yourself, how did we get here? Well, it goes a little something like this.

Illegal file-sharing has led to fewer CD sales.  Fewer CD sales have forced artists, managers and labels to emphasize the live music experience–including festivals, of course–to make up for the lost revenue.  Emphasizing live gigs attracts people.  And should a thunderstorm strike, those people risk being killed or injured.

Bottom line?  If people didn’t trade music illegally online, then none of this would have happened.

Makes perfect sense, since anybody who knows anything about music is well aware that music festivals were invented in 1999 when this whole Napster thing looked like it might be starting to catch on. Before that time, nothing like this ever could have happened.

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